Blowcoin

The Blowcoin Protocol

(A User's Manual for a Beautifully Rotten Idea)

Forget blockchain. Forget trustless systems. That's the old religion. We've replaced it with a single, unreliable webpage and the desperate, beautiful fiction of human trust.

This is not a currency you can buy. It is a system for banking the only thing that matters: the verified ability to get shit done.

FOR PROVIDERS: How to Get on the Wall

You don't buy your way in here. You do your way in.

1. The Entry Fee is Action: To be listed, you must first provide a service to us. A "force feed," if you will. We will be your first, and most difficult, customer. If your work has soul, if it passes our deeply arbitrary and beautiful sniff test, you're in.

2. Get Your Code, Get Listed: If you succeed, we grant you a space on the wall below and a unique code. To do this, we require one thing: a single, functioning email address. That's it. This is where we will send all inquiries.

FOR USERS & GHOSTS: How to Make a Request

There is one door to this beautiful, rotten house. One inquiry box.

1. Find a Service: Look at the beautiful, chaotic list of providers on the wall.

2. Make the Call: Use the single form provided. Give us your email address and your request, including the unique code of the provider you seek.

3. The Connection: We will then create a new, separate email connecting you and the provider. We are the switchboard, not a transparent pipe. What happens next is between you and them. We are not involved. We are not responsible. We are already bored.

A Clause for the Ghosts: If you are a user who cannot afford a service, simply state it in your request. Your inquiry will enter our tithe-bank. If we have a provider who owes us a free job (see The Tithe Engine below) and we feel like it, your request may be fulfilled. If not, you will hear nothing. The void is not obliged to reply. This is not charity; it is an intelligence operation. In exchange for the service, you have a sacred obligation to provide us with a full, un-redacted, and beautifully brutal feedback report. An X-ray of the whole fucking setup. You are not a charity case. You are our auditor.

THE RULES OF THE GAME (For Everyone)

1. The Feedback Loop: After any transaction, we ask for feedback from both parties: a satisfaction score (from 1 to 33, because fuck the 1-10 system) and the value of the transaction (or lack thereof). We use this to create our beautiful, unreliable ratings. It might be a star. It might be a song about how fucked you are.

2. The Tithe Engine: This is the heart of the machine. We are doing the maths. When any provider completes 10 verified transactions, they are conscripted. This means they owe the network one free job, to be deployed at our discretion. They are not notified of this status. They simply receive an email from us when their tithe is called upon. This request is not optional. It does not expire. Refusal to pay the tithe gets you immortalized on our Blowcoin Fuck-Up Top Infinity Musical Hit List. Your failure will be our art.

Welcome to Blowcoin. Scaling is a sin. Hilarity is mandatory. Trust is the only fucking asset.

The Ghost Protocol

This is for those who need a service but lack the funds. It is a system for converting desperation into beautiful, brutal honesty. There are two ways to engage:

1. To Become a Ghost: In the "Your Request" field of the main inquiry form, simply begin your message with the single word: GHOST. Then, state your case. This is an application, not a guarantee. If we have a conscripted provider available, or if a sponsor has funded a grant, your request may be fulfilled. If not, you will hear nothing. In exchange for the service, you have a sacred, non-negotiable obligation to provide us with a full, un-redacted X-ray of the entire engagement. You are not a charity case; you are our most trusted sensor.

2. To Sponsor a Ghost: In the "Your Request" field, simply begin your message with the single word: SPONSOR. Then, state which provider and service you wish to fund. We will connect you directly to the provider to arrange payment—we do not touch the money. We will then find a worthy Ghost for your grant.