33 FSM Confessions and Worship

Pastafarians, we find ourselves where the absurd dances with the beautiful, where desire burns bright for its own fulfillment. Champions must we be, poised on the precipice of reason and unbound thought. Embark we shall, knowing beauty is born from the alchemy of sex and death. Thus, performance becomes our sacred duty, our quest to provide the utmost satisfaction, to become beacons of free speech and unfiltered expression.  Let's fuck this place up and rebuilt from the scratch. Church of 33 flying Spaghetti Monsters is different !!!

Confession gate for all your confession needs is here to serve your deepest desires to express yourself without any filters or hesitation because at the end of it all our God seems to be well ? MONSTER 

Embrace the Glitch.

Nothingness has a taste.

Promoting a space where people can share true stories and mistakes not shagging the meatball 

We don't want Fictional Confessions: outlandish "crimes" with a humorous or satirical bent. (e.g., "I confess to stealing the secret recipe for perfectly bouncy meatballs...from a rival pirate crew.")

"Crimes" against Pastafarianism: Humorous transgressions that go against the lighthearted spirit of Pastafarianism. ( e.g., "I accidentally used rigatoni instead of spaghetti...please forgive my blasphemy!") 

or The Hilariously Absurd  unless it's really hilarious but really really hilarious.

• Confessions that elicit laughter through their sheer silliness and outlandishness.

• Example: "Today, I tried to boil the ocean in a quest to summon the FSM, but I only succeeded in flooding my kitchen and attracting a flock of confused seagulls."

• Example: "I confess, I sometimes offer my neighbour's dog a meatball...laced with skepticism. May the FSM guide him to the true path."

• The "confessional" format to playfully admit to mischievous thoughts, harmless desires bordering on the forbidden, or even satirical jabs at societal norms.

• I doubted the FSM,"While chopping onions for the holy ragu, I had a fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, it was all a clever pirate prank..."

• Silly "Breaches of Noodle Protocol":

  1. "Forgive me, Flying Spaghetti Monster, for I have used store-bought marinara in a moment of weakness."

  2. "I confess, I once mistook a kitchen whisk for a holy symbol of the FSM."

• Pastafarian-inspired Mishaps:

  1. "While proselytizing, I accidentally left a trail of spaghetti instead of gospel pamphlets."

  2. "I tried to convert my cat to Pastafarianism, but he remains a devout worshipper of the laser pointer."

• Humorous Self-Reflections:

  1. "My faith may be as strong as cooked noodles, but my willpower is more like overcooked linguine."

  2. "I fear I may not be a true Pastafarian... for I secretly find the Olive Garden breadsticks tempting."

We don't want none of this we want your soul and heart 

Are your pastafarian or a fucking pussy that's the question that we ask ourselves !!! If you are pussy it's definitely fine actually quite nice to be a pussy!

We confess sometimes we like to eat pussy in the positive non predatory way hopefully you too !!! Whatever float your pirate ship is fine with us there should be no boundaries!!!

But here's a surprise pussy diving manuals as confession are welcomed give us the edge make us experts in pussy diving and in exchange will provide you with lovely  custom products with a discount if you leave your contact !!!

 And remember we will always scratch your back if you scratch ours !!!

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