Mom

Daughter

6 am - awake, quiet, softly singing to herself in bed

6 am - wake up from a deep sleep, dreaming about telling off a know-it-all

7 am - on the commode, struggling to have a bowel movement, pushing, trying to pull the stool out with her finger, soiled hand

7 am - bring Mom her tea, see she is on the commode, start to assemble clean up kit - basin of warm, soapy water, stack of clean wash clothes, empty basin for soiled wash clothes, step stool to set the basin on, bath mat for Mom to stand on while I get her cleaned up

Mom is struggling, put a stool under her feet to change the flexion of her hips, encourage her to stretch a bit, try standing

730 am - Mom is done, the stool is passed, she stands on the bath rug and faces away from me, allowing me to clean up

730 am - I have developed a system for cleaning up Mom after a bowel movement:

1. Put the commode lid on the pot, open the window and start the fan to freshen the air in her room;

2. Using the first washcloth - soak it in the warm soapy water and wring it out, wipe Mom, throw the used washcloth into the empty basin;

3. Repeat using a clean washcloth each time to keep the warm soapy water clean of contanimation;

4. Get Mom's pullups back up and she climbs into bed to rest after the exertion;

5. Remove the toilet extension seat;

6. Empty the contents of the commode into the toilet - it is a large, highly compacted stool;

7. Pour the basin of warm soapy water into the toilet as well to provide extra flushing water to send the stool through the pipes;

8. Plunge as necessary to clear the toilet until it is flushing without obstruction;

9. Through all the used washcloths into the laundry for immediate cleaning;

10. Mop the floor as needed, leave the toilet with the extension seat on it for Mom;

11. Put away the step stool and basins for next time;

12. Call the Palliative Care nurse to talk about how to ease Mom's constipation and achieve softer stools that are easier to pass

8 am - the Home Support caregiver has arrived to give Mom her personal care clean up - Mom does not want to get dressed, she is thinking of spending another day in bed

8 am - get Mom a clean nightgown to change into after her personal care washup

8:30 am - gave Mom a glass of orange juice with 1 tsp of PEG to help soften her stools and ease her constipation;

I am getting Mom's morning medications and breakfast organized when Sally (paid in-home care service) arrives;

Orient Sally to the morning events so far, Mom's conditions, housekeeping priorities;

Sally serves Mom her cornflakes w/ psyllium husk sprinkled on top;

I go upstairs to walk the dogs, think, and get to work (processing notes and ideas for researching family caregiving)

11 am - Sally has helped Mom to get up and dressed, she is in her big chair waiting for a cup of tea, Sally will make her lunch and play cards with Mom while also running the laundry through the machines and cleaning the shower base

11 am - Sally calls me - she can't find anymore teabags - I forgot to show her there was a fresh box of tea to re-load the tea jar - I went downstairs and got her sorted out

Mom was up in her big chair - I gave her warm words of congratulations that she had gotten up out of bed

There is heavy forest fire smoke hanging over the city, so the air quality is not good for Mom - I wonder if it is making her feel weak

12:30 pm - it is too late to start anything new but still an hour before Sally's service call is finished. What to do?

What have I done with this time this morning? Walked the dogs, clean upstairs, 2nd coffee and journalling - the idea of home-based beds - where is the accounting of this resource? Where is the accounting for administrating this resource?

Check in with Fred, another brother who has moved in with us and is working on the house in lieu of paying for room and board - looking over projects and discussing next steps

Take dogs out for another walk to use up the remaining time before going downstairs and taking over from Sally

2 pm - Mom has gone to lay down for a nap

2 pm - a healthy lunch and watch tv, drop off to sleep

2:30 pm - coffee and cookie, play a game to transition to writing, but it doesn't feel right. Put on my boots and headed outside to dig up a garden bed and rake leaves so they won't clog the storm drains when the rains come this weekend

3:30 pm - Mom is awake, she wants to stay on the bed, she is ready for a cup of tea and a small sweet

3:30 pm - Make Mom a cup of tea, her sweet, also a metamucil cap w/ water

3:45 pm - working my way into writing by filling in the picture for the day, preparing to read papers for tomorrows webinar