Yesterday I sat down with Family to go over the care infrastructure that is in place to keep Mom at home. I explained the chain of command for medical and home support - as best as I could understand it.
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We reviewed the schedule of Home Support Caregivers who come to the house 7 days a week to give Mom her bath. They don't come at the same time each day, there are different caregivers on any given day, some are familiar with the household, others it is their first time. Their service is essential infrastructure because giving Mom a bath is a skillful task. The last time I gave Mom a bath, I had a moment of "Uh Oh" when I realized I had a naked, soapy, slippery fragile 91 year old attempting to stand up in the shower to get rinsed off.
We looked at the schedule from the private caregiving service. This service provides the continuity and stability we need 3 days a week 5 hours a day. The service includes taking care of Mom and housekeeping, relieving the household of having to engage a separate service for laundry, dishes, floors, etc. This time is committed, and it makes it possible for me to get to my desk and work on paid work uninterrupted. Without this service we would not have a hope of earning the cashflow we need to house the family, including Mom. Private Caregiving schedule is consistent in terms of 3 days a week, but the actual days may vary due to Caregiver schedule. For example, this week we have Private Caregiver on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, so there was a gap day (Tuesday) where there was no committed extra care in place.
I showed Family how our paid Family Caregiver schedule adapts to Private Caregiver schedule and any other family visits to avoid overlap but provide care coverage so I can get to my desk on days when there is a gap. This schedule takes a bit of juggling week to week. Also, Family Caregiver has a 3 hour one way trip to get here, so we need to allow for enough days between visits so we don't lose too much time for travel. Family Caregiver covers weekends and shoulder days, but sometimes cannot make it because they need a weekend at home. Although Family Caregiver is committed to Mom's care schedule, we use an ad hoc approach to scheduling their time to accommodate Private Caregiver and other family visit schedules as well as their personal needs to stay home some weekends.
Last on the schedule are ad hoc Family visits - unpaid and at the convenience of other professional, personal and recreational pursuits. These are casual visits, they give me a bit of a break, but are not regular enough or routine enough to be relied on for either release time to work at my desk, work on personal backlog, take a recreational outing, or get some extra rest. These visits are primarily to give Mom enrichment - to see her family, play a game of cards, sing songs, go for a walk, eat a meal together. These visits are made possible because Mom is not in an institutional setting, because she is at home.
At the heart of this mission is to have Mom home for whatever time we have left with her. She lived in mental health housing for 40 years because no one in the family could bring her home. This mission is a fulfillment of her life, and also our life as a family. That we need her home as much as she needed to be home with us. As she has said, more than once, "We waited a long time for this."
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