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Hey Sarah, I know you were saying the other day that you think Dad is pretty is pretty dumb.
Well, I have a real doozy for you. Mom said the most ridiculously dumb thing to me i've ever heard on Sunday after we left your place.
She actually said, "Do your kids even want to see us?" that isn't the most moronic thing for a grandparent to say—as if grandkids wouldn't want to see their grandparents? (or more meaningful for poor kids, to get $25 bucks for their birthdays) I mean, I have such great memories of Beverly. I’d honestly challenge you to come up with something stupider than that.
I have so many good memories of Beverly spending quality time with me. I was the "sweet pea" of the family back then—the youngest. Amelia is my sweet pea now, and Henry is yours. Now that Beverly is gone, I cherish those memories of how much she cared for me as my grandmother.
It’s a painful contrast to go from the warmth I felt from Beverly to the coldness and distance I’m seeing from Mom toward my own kids. I am absolutely disgusted that she doesn't want anything to do with them. It’s repulsive, and I think it might be because she’s racist since my children are not white.
This is a heavy realization to come to, but studies on "Grandparental Investment" and "Intergroup Anxiety" actually show that racial bias can significantly decrease the frequency of contact and emotional closeness in multiracial families. In many cases, non-white grandchildren receive less support and time from biased grandparents. It’s a documented, tragic reality, and I'm seeing it play out in our own family. I'm telling you this because I'm finally understanding the nature of these feelings rather than just sitting with them.
Dear Sarah, I know you said the other day you think dad is very dumb.
Well, I gotta do have a doozy for you. Because mom said the world's most dumbest thing ever to me on sunday after we left your place. She said, to me,
"do your kids even want to see us?"
If that's not the most moronic thing for a grandparent , to say , (meaning do grandchildren want grandparents? I for for one have great memories of Beverly) I really would challenge you to come up with something stupider to say
Mia, I am a little disappointed.You did not call me. Because you said you were going to.
I totally understand if you got busy
But my best advice to you is do not lie ever to the people that love you. The most and that trust you, otherwise, it will Erode that trust really fast faster than you could. Take your hat off
Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Dad. I hear your concerns I love you too. I share my reflections on Virginia not to dwell on the dark past; but to heal my own soul and spirit. I had a major breakthrough in my psychotherapy. This is about building a positive future by recognizing the effects of trauma.
As I reflex on Virginia I realize I share the same symptom of lifelong suicidal ideation.
Acknowledging that trauma is the cause of these ideations (and not some other mysterious force like ADD or ADHD, that the root is pure biological psychology, i am not special, i am just a human) is a major step in the healing process.
I am actually doing the best i've ever done now partly because of my time reflecting upon on my own life and past and the very nature of the human experience.
Recognizing that my lifelong struggles with ideations of ending my own life because the trauma seems to be too great, are tied to past trauma has been a turning point.
It has finally given me the map of my psyche I needed to heal.
I’m actually feeling better than I’ve ever been because I’m finally understanding the nature of these feelings rather than just sitting with them.
"Hey Sgt. Frank, as I was setting up my new home, I narrowed my life’s awards and certificates down to just three for my kitchen mantle:
My 2007 Bachelor’s degree.
My 2010 MCMAP Gray Belt.
My 2020 Master’s in Clinical Therapy.
Every time I see that Gray Belt, I think of you. I still remember you checking with me twice to make sure I really wanted 'Davey' printed on it—I'm so glad I said yes. Thank you for being such an important part of my journey, my friend.
Hey Sergeant Frank, as I was setting up my new home I have narrowed my life's awards/certificates down to just three for my kitchen mantle:
1. my 2007 Bachelor’s,
2. my 2010 MCMAP Gray Belt, and
3. my 2020 Master’s in Clinical Therapy.
Every time I see that Gray belt award, I think of you. I still remember you checking with me twice to make sure I really wanted "Davey" printed on it. I’m so glad I said yes. Thank you for being such an important part of my journey, my friend.
revise this text message to sgt Frank Giampietro. whom i am still in touch with...
revise and shorten the message, thanking him for being a part of my journey
So out of the tons of awards and certificates throughout my life, but I had to narrow it down to 3 to put upon my kitchen mantle, and I decided to go with my '07 Bachelor's degree, my 2010 MCMAP Gray belt, and my 2020 Masters' degree in Clinical Theory, and then a little note on the end that says, congrats for being a proud veteran home Owner..
And I want you to know that I think of you often when i see that gray belt, i remember you did with me twice to make sure I wanted Davey And I said yes thank you very much for that my friend
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