August 2025

Got it — thank you for clarifying. You want to keep the raw repetition, the emotional intensity, and the heaviness intact, but improve the grammar and flow so it reads more clearly and powerfully. I’ll keep everything you wrote, repair sentence structure, and add connective tissue where it helps your meaning come through more strongly.

Here’s a faithful, unsoftened revision:

(Revised, Preserving Tone and Repetition)

Message to Sheila 

Dear Sheila,

Thank you for the PDF of content ideas you sent me.

About the money request—I just have a few thoughts I want to share with you. Firstly, I’ve implemented a twenty-four-hour waiting period between money requests and disbursement of funds. This is not to be difficult with you but to give myself a little less pressure and to protect my sanity. It gives me some time to think things over. You know I always end up giving you pretty much whatever you ask for, because I’m a good dude like that.

But I wanted to ask you a question and tell you something.

Did you think about how you might need support and help raising the children when you decided not to work on our marriage and chose divorce? You knew that divorce would ultimately end my constant support—financially, emotionally, and practically. I had recognized that fact myself, and it was one of the reasons I decided to stay married to you, despite it not being a great marriage—because I believed it was best for the girls, at least until they graduated high school.

I am really struggling now. I am living alone. I am really, really struggling. And it is sad, because I need support myself. I always knew I function better with love and support in my life. Being alone, I am really unhappy, unhealthy, and I am losing touch with reality. I don’t have anyone here to help bring me back when my mind spirals out of control into depression and mania. And you know that I was always willing to give love and support in return.

For example, I am extremely attentive to my two little dogs. Jeff has me trained to feed him whenever he paws at his food bowl. I listen. I care. And I just think it’s a shame, because I loved you and the girls so much. I did a lot better when I had your support and when I had you and the girls to take care of.

And now, I am such a mess, and so disabled, that I fear I will never even be open to another relationship again. You were the only person I ever let into my life. The only person to ever really know me. I wasn’t that bad of a husband or stepfather. You knew me well, and you probably should have known that I wasn’t going to do well on my own. And now I am so unhealthy and so closed off, you will likely be the only person to ever really know who I am—or who I was. The only person to know my kindness and my willingness to give love and to give everything I had. Such a tragedy.

I foolishly believed that you were a divine provision from God for me, so that I wouldn’t have to go through life alone. Now I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know what my future holds, and I don’t know how much time I have left. That is the only reason I am trying to save money. But even now, I still give when I can.

You know how much I always wanted children. And you know how much I cherished and treasured you and the girls. I saw this destruction coming into all our lives after the divorce. You needing me. Me not wanting to be alone. And yet here we are.

This version:

• Keeps the repetition and rawness (“I am really, really struggling…”)
  
  

• Keeps the direct accusations/questions (“Did you think about…”)
  
  

• Fixes grammar, verb tense, and clarity.
  
  

• Adds small connectors so the ideas flow while keeping the heavy, almost stream-of-consciousness effect.
  
  

Would you like me to also format this like a spoken monologue/letter, with intentional line breaks for rhythm and emotional impact (like you might actually read it aloud to her)? That could make it even more powerful.

I hear how much pain and honesty you’re pouring into this message. If your goal is to communicate clearly, without overwhelming Sheila, it may help to keep the tone respectful, focused, and less heavy all at once. I’ll revise what you wrote into something heartfelt but more concise and easier for her to receive:

Revised Message to Sheila

Dear Sheila,

Thank you for sending me the PDF of content ideas.

About the money request—I want to explain something. I’ve set a 24-hour waiting period before sending funds. It helps me manage the pressure, gives me time to think, and protects my own mental health. 

You know I’ve always tried to be generous and give you what you ask for, but I need this small boundary in place.

I also want to share something more personal. Since the divorce, I’ve been struggling a lot—living alone has been harder than I ever expected. 

I always functioned better with love and support around me, and without that, I often spiral into depression and mania. 

I know you remember how much love and support I was willing to give in return, not just to you, but to the girls, and even to my little dogs.

I wasn’t a perfect husband or stepfather, but I did love you and the girls deeply, and I believe you knew that. 

I sometimes feel like you were the only person who ever truly knew me—my kindness, my willingness to give everything I had. Losing that has left me feeling closed off and afraid I’ll never let anyone in again.

I once believed our marriage was a provision from God, so I wouldn’t have to go through life alone. Now I don’t know what to believe. 

I’m uncertain about my future and my health, which is why I try to save money where I can. Still, I give when I’m able, because I care.

You know how much I always wanted children, and how much I cherished you and the girls. 

I feared that divorce would bring hardship for all of us—you needing my support, and me being left without the family I loved. Sadly, those fears feel real to me now.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

This version keeps the emotional honesty but trims down repetition, softens some of the heavier language, and makes it easier for her to take in.

Would you like me to make an even shorter, “gentler” version that keeps the focus only on the money boundary and your struggles, without going as deep into grief about the divorce? That might make it less overwhelming for her to read.