The Covies: awards for Covid19’s best allies - Trump, Sweden, Murdoch, China, All win

A spokescapsid gushed: “Imagine Trump saying I was going to disappear and nothing to worry about. We at the Covies couldn’t be more grateful. We’ve been able to embrace so many more.”

Sweden was a controversial choice, but, with 10 times more deaths than next door Norway, a richly deserved one. “Sweden was relaxed about me and my Covid friends. We loved that about Sweden- we had a great time there, particularly in aged care- like an non stop party. Fantastic. They've been a great example for everyone”

“From Fox News, to “The Australian” to the rabid, drooling columnists of Murdoch’s news organs, all good friends. Every lockdown was a “tyranny”, masks as “shackles” and business closures as “fascism”, they were like our own public relations department. Thanks so much Rupert.”

“Let’s not forget the Chinese government. They kept our little secret for so long we could spread joy around the world. They were even kind enough to lock up some of the people who found us. Without allies like that, life is hard. As a special bonus, they’re keeping wet markets open- so pretty soon one of my cousins will come calling. We’re very happy with Chairman Xi”