New virus variant: US Covid 19 virus demands right to bear arms, ignore science

In an exciting new development, Covid 19 is starting to resemble its hosts. US variants are exercising their sub-micron right to bear arms. Chinese government variants have occupied the liver as their “historical right” and imprisoned millions of other viruses in “RNA re-education camps”.

A spokesnucleod for the US Virus remarked:  "No vaccine is going to hurt us, I tell you it’s just a plot by the bacterial Illuminati to take our precious genetic material."

Meanwhile, Chinese viruses have been industriously building a “viral island” in the spleen to cement their territorial claim.