“I AM NOT MY CHILDHOOD”: SNOWMAN/JIMMY’S IDENTITY CRISIS 

IN ORYX AND CRAKE (PP.41-78)


1. Introduction

Drawing on Jimmy’s description in the previous chapter that “He loved her so much when he made her unhappy, or else when she made him unhappy,” the reader gets a sense that there is an unusual complexity within the mother-son relationship between Jimmy and Sharon (37). This aspect once again resurfaces in Chapter Four, whereby Jimmy at night cannot help longing and yearning for “his real, strange, insufficient, miserable mother” despite her sudden abandoning of him (77). This allows us to realize that the key to understanding Jimmy’s identity crisis is the exploration of his mother’s identity crisis. Indeed, some characteristics of their identity crisis are similar, such as the loss of originality and individuality in their lives in OrganInc and HelthWyzer Compound.[1] The outcome of this loss is reflected in the scene of the caterpillar in Chapter Three, whereby Snowman is thrilled by an “irrational happiness” that he feels through looking at a caterpillar: “There will never be another caterpillar just like this one” (46). What lies underneath Snowman’s irrational happiness is the lamentation toward the loss of original and individual qualities of human beings, which serves as one of the elements that cause Sharon’s depression.


Following this, the formation of Sharon’s identity crisis accompanied by her individual means to cope with this problem will be explored in the first section of this paper. As to the second part of this paper, the impact of Sharon’s depression together with her unhappy relationship with her husband on Jimmy, followed by her disappearance from her family and so forth—will be exanimated.


2. Sharon’s Identity Crisis

2.1 Reproduction

Right from the beginning of the story, we know that the relationship between Jimmy’s father and mother is not good, as the two often argue with each other and it often ends up with his mother’s slamming of the door accompanied by his father’s ignoring of her mother (19). This is not surprising as they have a different viewpoint toward life. Supposedly, it is this difference that leads to the differentiation of image that Jimmy/Snowman has of them: his mother “persists a clear image, full color, with a glossy white paper frame around her like a Polaroid,” his father can be recalled in fragmented details: he is “a sort of pastiche” (55, 56). The reason why Jimmy cannot formulate a full image of his father is because everything his father offers is based on imitation: the rakunk, the pigoon project, the NooSkins project (replacing the worn skin cells with the “replicas” of the plump skin cells (62)), their first home in OrganInc Compound and their second home in HelthWyzer Compound (the furniture in it is reproduction (30)), his unnatural and imitating roleplay of a father (“Right, Jimmy?,” “son” (58)). Perhaps this is why Jimmy’s mother does not like it when “Jimmy warmed up to anything his father gave him” (59). In short, the lack of originality and individuality embedded in Jimmy’s father’s personality, life and work serve as the reason why he can only be recalled as a fragmented figure.


On the contrary, Sharon’s upholding of the concept of individuality through her descriptions and actions makes her a solid figure to Jimmy/Snowman. For instance, her argument with Jimmy’s father about his Nooskins project foregrounds the aspect that wrinkles and blemish represent part of one’s individuality; her seeing of the OrganInc Farms as “all artificial, it was just a theme park and you could never bring the old ways back” or “prison” indicates her lamentation toward the loss of the originality and individual quality embedded in her previous surroundings (31). Compared to “the other sides,” where things and people are more “unpredictable,” interesting and diverse, the lifestyles and living beings constructed inside every Compound is predictable, mundane and completely unoriginal (32, 31). The result of this reinforcement of social conformity within the OrganInc Farms is that everything that is interesting about life is being ripped off, reducing one’s life and oneself to a replica. This serves as one of the causes of Jimmy’s mother’s depression.


For Sharon, the removal of originality and individuality through genetic engineering and the reinforcement of social conformity and class inequality (“Making life better for people – not just people with money” (64)) is unethical and depressing. But what she cannot bear the most is that her husband not only neglects these issues but further assists the organization to enforce them: “It’s wrong, the whole organization is wrong, it’s a moral cesspool and you know it”; “You are interfering with the building blocks of life. It’s immoral. It’s . . . sacrilegious”; “You used to be so [upright,] you had ideals, then” (64). As always, Jimmy’s father has a multitude of reasons to cover himself: “It’s just proteins, you know that! There’s nothing sacred about cells and tissue”; “you are the one with the neurotic guilt. Why don’t you dig a few dishes yourself, at least it will get you off your butt!”; “you’re single handedly supporting the tobacco companies. Think about that if you’re so ethical” (65). The argument then ends with Jimmy’s father asking Sharon to “take some pills if [she] is fucking depressed!”—suggesting that he is not responsible for her concerns and problems at all (65).


2.2 Aunt Monica

Unable to reach an understanding with her husband or gain comfort from him, Sharon eventually escapes to the pleeband (city) through her genius plan—about going to see a dentist in the city—with some secret help from others. Before leaving, Sharon destroys her husband’s computers with a hammer so that no one can ever find out what kind of data she has taken with her. Crushing her husband’s computers with a Mr. Home Handyman’s hammer indicates two meanings. On one hand, it represents the destruction of this marriage. On the other hand, it symbolizes the anger of the working class who seek justice, freedom and civil rights. As in the song “If I Had a Hammer” by Pete Seeger and Lee Hays (1949), the hammer “represents a relentless message of justice broadcast across the land. The song became a symbol of the civil rights movement in the United State” (Wikipedia). The connection between the hammer and the working class can be traced back further to the symbol of the hammer in the former Soviet Union’s flag: Hammer and Sickle.[2] This implication fits into the situation of Sharon based on Jimmy’s description that “You don’t take a hammer…to a guy’s computer without being quite angry”; “Not that she hadn’t been angry in general: her anger had gone way beyond any one motive” (75). The anger demonstrated by Sharon thus reflects not only herself but all the repressed ones.


Another thing that is left by Sharon is a letter to her son, which explains why she has to leave this place: she has “suffered with conscience long enough”; can “no longer participate in a lifestyle that is […] meaningless in itself”; she will always love him and will try to reach him if possible (69). After a while, two postcards from England and Argentina are sent to Jimmy. Both are written “Hope you are well” and signed with the same unknown name: “Aunt Monica” (77). Jimmy’s guessing that “She must have got some other people to mail them for her” indicates that Aunt Monica is his mother. However, the lack of deep maternal bond between the two leads Jimmy to wonder if his mother really loves him. As Snowman wonders, “Maybe she had loved Jimmy…In her own manner” or maybe “she hadn’t loved him” (69). From this respect, one understands that Sharon’s escaping from the OrganInc does resolve part of her identity crisis but at the same time her action confuses her son, leading Jimmy to suffer from psychological conflicts that involve inner passivity, an uncertain sense of self, irrational guilt and so on.


3. Snowman/Jimmy’s Identity Crisis

3.1 Touch Wood

After the disappearance of his mother, Jimmy is forced to deal with two CorpSeCorps women who are obligated to investigate the case. Although Jimmy knows that his description of his mother does not do any harm to her, he still suffers from a neurotic guilt: “He’d done all of his betrayal of her in the HelthWyzer High lunchroom” (73). On a deeper level, Jimmy feels as though he had “disappointed” and “failed” his mother “in some crucial way” and therefore she had chosen to leave without even saying a word to him beforehand: “Did she trust him? Evidently not” (77). Beyond that, Jimmy blames himself for her mother’s unhappy life. As he claims, “He’d never understood what was required of him. If only he could have one more chance to make her happy” (77).

Meanwhile, Jimmy is forced to adapt to the new lifestyle that is imposed by his father and his new partner or Jimmy’s surrogate mother, Ramona.[3] As Jimmy recalls, “Life took on a different pattern, which involved bouts of giggly, growly sex going on behind doors that were closed but not soundproof” (74). Not only does Jimmy find this encounter “embarrassing,” most of the time he feels as though he was “invisible” to them (75). Nevertheless, this feeling of non-existence is not a new theme, as throughout the time Jimmy constantly feels that he has been forgotten by his parents. For instance, Jimmy claims that “he’s repressed from birthdays” because other than Dolores, the Philipino housemaid, no one seems to care about this important day that celebrates his presence. His mother “could never seem to recall how old Jimmy was or what day he was born”; his father always finds excuses for forgetting his birthday and compensates him with an e-birthday card that is based on OrganInc standard design, followed by presents that involve “hidden demands that he measures up” (56, 57). His father’s obsession with the scientific measuring standard of OrganInc’s math-and-chem-and-applied-bio yardstick—which categorizes Jimmy as “dull normal”—provides a ground for him to stop encouraging his son. This “at-least-he-wasn’t-a-total-washout” perception that Jimmy’s father has makes Jimmy feel as if he had “a brain injury,” that he “was bound to fuck up” (66, 57). Listening to his father’s utterance of the phrase “touch wood,”[4] Jimmy understands that his presence is regarded as a failure of his father’s and mother’s combined genes, just like the snat, “an unfortunate blend of snake and rat” (66, 57).


3.2 Killer

The lack of positive affirmation from both of his parents serves as the main reason for Jimmy’s low self-esteem: “Nothing he could achieve would ever be the right idea, or enough” (57). This results in the growing sense of the “initial loneliness” within himself (61). In order to replace the lack of affirmation and to fill the void of his loneliness, Jimmy looks for attention and self-affirmation from his classmates through showing off his rakunk, making chimpanzee gestures, sexual jokes and so forth. Following his transition into a teenager, Jimmy develops more courage to rebel against the ruling power of his parents. Like his mother who uses the hammer as a tool for rebellion, Jimmy uses “hand-puppets” as his tool to make fun of his own parents (for instance, the creation of the “Righteous Mom” and the “Evil Dad” (68)). While making fun of his parents provides him some pleasure, deep down he also feels guilty for this immoral behavior. He seeks inner comfort from the rakunk that acts as his only listener and healer: “She always forgave him” (69). However, even though the rakunk can offer some sort of inner comfort to Jimmy, it also represents the sense of loneliness and misery (“Pathetic” (67)) that Jimmy feels toward himself. Hence, from a long-term perspective, the rakunk imparts a more negative than positive impact on Jimmy (which is why the rakunk is named “Killer”!).

For Jimmy, another instance that serves a “killing” purpose to his crumbled self is the acknowledgement of his parents’ “Terrific parenting checklists” (66). His parents’ overconcern over this instead of their son’s like-and-dislike checklists leads Jimmy to understand that all his parents care about are themselves, that their son is only a tool for them to achieve some sort of self-satisfaction through their acting out of the roles of father and mother; if they were really concerned about Jimmy’s individuality, Jimmy would not have made such a clear statement that “They knew nothing about him, what he liked, what he hated, what he longed for” (66). Similarly, the curriculum of the Life Skills class in HelthWyzer School follows the same kind of education system: “using a microwave without nuking your egg; filling out housing applications for this or that; Module and job applications for this or that Compound…wise genetic match-making, the proper use of condoms to avoid sexually transmitted bioforms”—all these activities lack creativity, metaphors, originality and individuality (47). This comes to reveal the irony embedded in the slogan that “We are not here to play, to dream, to drift. We are here to practice Life Skills”: Life Skills are actually designed to kill one’s ability to play, dream and drift; there is no “life” in Life Skills.


Notes:

[1] The difference between originality and individuality is that the former is “the capacity to think independently or be inventive” while the latter is “the characteristics which contribute to the differentiation or distinction of someone or something from a group of otherwise comparable identity” (WikiDiff).

[2] The hammer represents “industrial laborers” and the sickle “the peasantry”—together they stand for “the worker-peasant alliance for socialism” (Wikipedia).

[3] Not only because he likes her well enough, Jimmy’s desire to “please” Ramona is also derived from his strong desire to please his mother Sharon. Unconsciously, Jimmy might/could have transferred this desire toward his mother to his surrogate mother.

[4] According to Wikitionary, touch wood is “used superstitiously to avert the possibility that something just mentioned (if bad) might not occur, or (if it a good thing) might occur.”


Work Cited: