STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS ON MOUNTAINS

22:14 Osaka, Japan

Different counties have different kinds and shapes of mountains. Right now I’m looking at the mountains in Shijonawate, Osaka, Japan. After crossing this mountain it will be another Prefecture, Nara, where a lot of deer are waiting to be fed in the park. From this aspect, mountains serve as a cutting point between two places, two worlds, two perspectives.

From another aspect, I personally think that mountains look very much like breasts. Therefore, hiking up to the top of the mountain symbolizes reaching the top of the breast; standing on the top of it is the same as pointing at the nipple of a breast. However, mountains are mostly hard and breasts are so soft that it can bounce like a pudding as well as changing its shape according to force. So breasts are soft mountains and mountains are very hard puddings.

Thinking of mountains remind me of the hike toward the top of Mt. Fuji in 2013. It was a terrible experience for me but interesting in its terrible way. I was hiking with a group of ALT foreigners that I didn’t really know except my American boyfriend at that time. He was very sweet that he planned to give me a cross necklace on the top of the mountain but in reality, he just disappeared after we started hiking for a while. The time when I saw him it was in front of the travel bus after I came down from the top of the mountain. He told me that he arrived too early and it was dark so he went down early without seeing the sunrise. I knew that he was very confident in his sports ability and this trip was excellent for him to prove that. So he forgot about me because he wanted to show off.

Anyway, I ended up hiking with a Canadian guy who only had a tiny torchlight. When we got up to the top, it was extremely cold and windy and dark as hell. The worst part was that I could sense that he wanted to have sex with me, that he was seducing me through some gestures. I didn’t know what the hell he was thinking but I would never ever wanted to fuck in that condition! So I walked around and waited for the sunrise to come. In the end, that morning was cloudy so there was no beautiful sunrise to view but rain. What could be worse than this? There is. Before the journey, I dropped my wallet on the bus! So the worst part is that I had to watch the others eating ramen while I had nothing. At that moment I really couldn’t help saying “fuck me!”