Is Sex Addiction Real?

Similar to the question “Is alcoholism a disease?” that appeared in the 1930s, a question like “Is sex addiction a disorder?” is what people are concerned and confused about today. People who confuse drug or sex addiction might think that it is one who makes a choice to drink or have sex—so how could that be an addiction?

Many of us are not aware that we are using sex as a drug. Similar to the use of drugs, the “wow” feeling one enjoys during sex is actually “endorphins and enklephlins flooding the prefrontal cortex of the brain” (Weiss 58). It is this experience that one begins to desire, more and more, again and again. Here, the conception that sex addicts are nothing but those with high libido probably rises into one’s mind. Thus, what is really different between sex addicts and those who just have a high libido? The answer is: a sex addict tends to rely on “objects” (of fantasy or pornography) while a sexually healthy person is going for “the connection with a partner and sex is a part of that connection” (Weiss 58).

If we look at the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), we know that sex addiction is not included while “gambling disorder” is classified as a behavioral addiction. It is suggested that one of the reasons why sex addition is hard to define is that “[t]he theory of being a sex addict is based on a moral interpretation of behavior” (Jet 24). Dr. Herbert Samuels, a professor at the City University of New York, believes that “sex addict is based on very moralistic terms”; “By some definition, almost anybody can be a sex addict, depending on whose definition you use” (Jet 24). In short, rather than a scientific judgment, sex addiction is a moral judgment for many people.

Another reason why sex addiction may not be qualified as a medical term is because some people had used “sex addition” as “an excuse to justify infidelity” (Griffths 2015). For instance, the golfer Tiger Woods claimed himself a sex addict after his wife found out his multiple affairs during their marriage. If his wife had never found out, Woods probably would not have claimed an addiction to sex (Griffths 2015).

Due to the issues mentioned above, sex addition is hardly claimed as a disorder. However, Douglas Weiss, the director of the Heart to Heart Counseling Center, declares that sex addiction is in fact an intimacy disorder. Opposed to “real intimacy” that requires “risk, vulnerability and being loved for who you are”, a sex addict “avoids the self-disclosure and authenticity that would lead to that” due to the struggle with self-esteem or narcissism, Weiss explains (U.S.News 2013). In other words, sex, the ultimate act of connection, becomes a way of avoiding intimacy in the case of sex addiction.

“Addiction is the failure to rein in behavior that threatens someone’s life and everything dear to it” (Berl 2013). Addiction to pornography, prostitution, masturbation or fantasy, sadomasochistic behavior, exhibition/voyeurism and other excessive sexual pursuits can lead to a decline in personal relationships, family engagement and productivity at work (“Sex Addiction Symptoms”). In addition, physical consequences like sexual dysfunction of STDs and psychological disorders—substance abuse, depression, obsessive-compulsive type symptoms, anxiety and others—are listed as the potential risks for sex addicts (“Sex Addiction Symptoms”).

Drawing on Weiss’s description that “As a culture, especially in the media, I think that sex addiction is being seen for what it really is: an addiction. As a psychologist, I know sex addiction is real. More importantly, I know recovery from sex addiction is valid”, sex addiction is indeed a disorder and should be taken seriously (USA Today 59). However, sex addiction is treatable and most individuals recovering from it would have learned the importance of having integrity in their life. Also, they would have known the importance of having strong boundaries to first protect themselves from slipping back into old habits. That is to say, one actually gets the benefits of being with an individual who has overcome a very challenging addiction. The end result is that one can share compassion and love in a deeper way with those who had recovered from sex addiction.

Works Cited:

• Berl, Rachel Pomerance. “Sex Addiction: An Intimacy Disorder.” U.S.News. 30 September 2013.

• “Experts Tell How to Overcome Sex Addiction.” Jet. 13 August 2001.

• Griffths, Mark. “Why Isn’t Sex Addiction in the DSM-5?” 5 March 2015.

• “Sex Addiction Symptoms, Causes and Effects.” PsychGuides.

• Weiss, Douglas. “Is Sex Addiction Real?” USA Today. May 2010.