Bulbous, unblinking eyes stare at you as you step into the random pop-up shop. Behind the goldfish, you see two of your own colleagues: Kyron and Mickey! It might feel like a hostage situation, but the two were certainly there by choice.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
"Hello, traveler. I see you eyeing my goods. I am Guppy the Goldfish. For coin, I shall share my wealth of trinkets with you. What do you say, friend of chaos?"
This shop is first come, first serve!
Fire Balls (2/2)
(Single-Target | 2d6 | Ranged(30ft) | 1 use per long rest)
[ACTION] It’s not your traditional fireball! Instead, you can torch a visible target within 30 ft. of you by the balls. If your target does not have testicles, they are immune to this spell. You will not know if your target is ball-less until the spell is already cast and you will not get that usage back.
[PRICE]
500 Nums
Vicious Mockery (2/2)
( single target / 1d6 psychic / ranged[60ft] )
[ACTION] Unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range. Target must succeed a wisdom saving throw or they'll receive 1d6 of psychic damage and a disadvantage on the next turn.
[PRICE]
500 Nums
Hideous Laughter (1/2)
( single target / 1d8 rounds / support[30ft] )
[ACTION] A creature of your choice that you can see within range perceives everything as hilariously funny and falls into fits of laughter if this spell affects it. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC 8+spell mod) or fall prone, becoming incapacitated and unable to stand up for the duration. A creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or less isn’t affected.
At the end of each of its turns, and each time it takes damage, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. The target has advantage on the saving throw if it’s triggered by damage. On a success, the spell ends.
[PRICE]
500 Nums
Eggscalibur (1/2)
1d6 blunt - or 1d8+int/wis healing - melee
You think the power of this weapon is in the actual frying pan? Well- Technically- Yes. But not in physical prowess. When used with your meal ingredients, you can automatically cook a 5-star meal that can use your INT or WIS modifier! (Turns meal ingredients into “cooked meal” which does 1d8 + INT/WIS healing.)
[PRICE]
600 Nums
La Chancla (2/2)
1d6 blunt - or 1d6 psychic - melee or ranged (80ft)
Your mother’s favorite. Everyone fears the chancla. You can use this in melee range or throw up to 80-ft. If you throw it, you need to spend an action picking it up, though.
[PRICE]
600 Nums
Nunclucks (2/2)
2d6 blunt + 1d6 psychic - Melee
Literally two rubber chickens with their ankles chained together. With every strike, a screaming cluck is beaten out of the chicken. Use a bonus action to strike a second time for 1d6 psychic damage, because what’s more salt to an open wound?
[PRICE]
800 Nums
Solid Steel Dice (1/2)
?d6 blunt - range (30ft)
You like gambling? Hell yeah. Chuck that solid steel cube at someone. Roll an initial 1d6 to determine how many damage dice you get and then roll that many 1d6’s for damage. This item cannot be upgraded because Krov can suffocate me at any point.
[PRICE]
800 Nums
Tactical Rubber Duck (2/2)
1d6 force + DEX save(DC13) - Ranged(30ft)
A rubber duck that… oddly looks like Brimstone from Valorant? A hefty lad. When thrown, it causes 1d6 force damage. Recipients to this damage are pushed back by 5 feet and must roll a dexterity saving throw (DC: 13). If they fail, they fall on their asses (aka prone). Alternatively, the rubber duck can be dropped in water, inflating into a 10-ft. by 10-ft. Raft.
[PRICE]
700 Nums
Airbag Vest (2/2)
One Time Use
It looks like a neat fishing vest on the outside but oh baby, the way this can save your party’s glass cannons. Its mechanism is a little clunky, so as long as you are wearing it, your movement is halved. It’s also just an airbag, so it doesn’t necessarily add to your AC either. However! If you are in a situation where you’re knocked unconscious and a death save is prompted, this vest kicks into action and automatically allows you to succeed that death save and remain conscious without burning one of your three death saves!
[PRICE]
850 Nums
Dynamite Hat (1/2)
A cowboy/western styled hat with a nifty little fascinator that looks like a stick of dynamite.
Cursed Item: The hat becomes stuck on your head upon wearing it!!
It is irremovable until it's effect is triggered.
When the wearer is dropped to 0hp and has no death saves remaining, they go out with a literal bang.
The hat detonates in a 20ft radius explosion centered on the space where the wearer fell, dealing 4d10 fire damage to whoever is standing in that radius.
Once the hat detonates, the wearer is free from it.
[PRICE]
700 Nums
Empty Spray Bottle (2/2)
3x use per liquid added in
You ever wanted to optimize that bottle of holy water or create your own pepper spray? Well- Now you can! Turn any liquid potion into an AOE for a 10-ft by 10-ft square.
[PRICE]
500 Nums
Groucho Glasses (2/2)
The most obvious disguise you can ever wear. When in-use, creatures you interact with must roll a perception check with disadvantage to recognize who you are (DC: 13). Creatures that fail will only remember you vaguely and not connect who you are. Creatures that succeed very much know and will remember who you are and any creatures allied with the successor will also know who you are.
[PRICE]
450 Nums
High Heel Crocs (2/2)
(-1 AC, CON Save)
Wearing these abominations lowers your AC by 1 point, because what do you mean you’re harder to hit with these on? Nuh uh. In addition to wearing them, you invoke aggro as you disgust any enemies (and maybe allies) near you. When you leave a creature’s melee range, they must make a constitution saving throw (or choose to fail) to stay focused. If they fail, you are the source of their hatred and all attacks made will be dedicated to you as the target until you are either dead or take those damn shoes off.
[PRICE]
600 Nums
Holy Pie (2/2)
A rich, creamy pie that can heal up to 8 people when shared and eaten normally, not in the middle of combat. If you’re wasteful, you can also just chuck this at someone’s face and they’ll heal 1d8 points.
[PRICE]
800 Nums
Scalp Massager (2/2)
Man, the way this modern piece of technology make people [REDACTED]! Using this puppy on someone’s skull allows you to roll anything involving CHA with advantage against them. This item is at risk of getting snatched/broken when used on the wrong person.
[PRICE]
550 Nums
The Extra Inch™ (2/2)
One time use
I sell you an idea. For whenever you’re just shy of a DC. Think of me fondly
[PRICE]
400 Nums
Weighted Emotional Support Church Plushie (2/2)
Your beloved Beacon mascot, Church the cat, has OFFICIALLY BECOME A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE. For one traveler only per long rest, you can reroll your sanity level (1d100) at advantage. If you roll higher than your current sanity level, you had a decent/good night’s rest! If you roll lower than your current sanity level… well, um. Sorry you had a nightmare, pookie, but Church can only help so much as a marketable plush.
[PRICE]
700 Nums
Uno Card Spirit
Each Card is One Time Use
“Believe in the heart of the cards! You think you know this deck, but this deck is possessed by silly lil’ spirits! Pull and see what the spirits can offer you~”
[PRICE]
500 Nums a roll
1 - Reverse Spirit - Reflects the spell target back to the caster.
2- Skip Spirit - Induces a brain aneurysm on a target and their turn in the order is skipped entirely. They regain consciousness at the end of their turn, thinking they just had a brain fart.
3 - Bonus Spirit - Adds a +2 to your next roll. It can be any roll, it just has to be your immediate next roll. Sanity checks included. Go insane.
4 - Wild Bonus Spirit - Adds +4 additional damage to your next immediate attack. You get the choice of what type of damage it is: lightning, ice, fire, or acid.
5 - Wild Spirit - Causes a status condition based on your color choice: yellow = paralyzed, green = frightened, blue = incapacitated, or red = charmed.
Magic Cupcakes
[PRICE]
500 Nums a roll
1 - King Coco Cupcake
A chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting and a little candy crown.
For 1d4 hours after eating, all food you consume tastes like chocolate.
2 - Mythic Cupcake
This cupcake has frosting designed to look like a mythical creature.
Eating the cupcake causes you to experience 10 minutes of the represented creatures life.
3 - Fool Me Twice Cupcake
A small cupcake that is enough for two bites. It is frosted to look like a brain.
Take a bite and erase the last 5 minutes of your memory. You become very confused.
4 - Last Wish Cupcake
This cupcake is shaped to resemble a tombstone. The frosting is a dull gray in color.
Eat it to be able to ask one question of a creature that died less than 1 minute.
5 - Delicious Blueberry
A blueberry cupcake that is bright, yummy, and always the perfect temperature.
Eat it causes disadvantage on the wisdom-based checks and saves for 1 hour.
6 - Chroma Cupcake
This colourful cupcake has a secret gooey center that is a random chromatic colour.
The random colour determines which dragon breath ability this cupcake grants for 1 minute.