Lady Bird (2017)

"I wish that you liked me." — Lady Bird
"I love you." — Marion
"But do you like me?"

Lady Bird is a coming-of-age film focusing on the life of Christine McPherson, who named herself “Lady Bird” as a way of forging a new identity. The movie delves into a variety of intertwined themes, including personal growth, self-identity, love and friendship, the search for belongingness, and most notably, the push-and-pull relationship between a mother and her daughter.

Right from the beginning, the complex relationship between Lady Bird and her mother, Marion, was already highlighted. It started inside the car, where the pair was having a heated discussion about Lady Bird’s plans for the future. She wanted to leave her hometown, Sacramento, and start anew in a place where culture and the arts were in great abundance—more specifically, New York. However, no matter what argument she made, Marion thought differently. Although they were not unfortunate, their family was not privileged enough to afford the kind of life that Lady Bird wanted. In the midst of Marion expressing what she thought would be best for her, Lady Bird threw herself out of the car to escape her mother’s comments.

The car ride was not the only proof of tension between the mother and daughter. Another instance was when Marion took her out shopping for a prom dress. While picking out her dress, a pink one that she really liked was chosen; however, her mother ruined the mood by pointing out that it was too pink. This moment sparked one of my favorite iconic scenes in which Lady Bird complained that her mother couldn’t have just complimented how she looked instead of critiquing the dress she chose. She continued by saying that her mother loves her but does not like her, to which Marion responded that she only wants what’s best for her. Lady Bird then replied, “What if this is the best version of myself?”

This specific scene highlights how their relationship suggests that her mother’s love feels rooted more in responsibility than in genuine choice. Lady Bird feels as though her mother only loves her because she is her daughter, not for who she is as a person. To her, Marion’s actions seem driven by obligation rather than affection. The scene underscores this dynamic by showing how Marion focuses on Lady Bird’s flaws—such as “complaining the dress was too pink”—instead of acknowledging the positive aspects of the dress and saying how she looks pretty wearing it.

At the end of the movie, silence spoke louder than words. It featured a compilation of things Lady Bird did before leaving her hometown—most of which were activities her mother never allowed her to do independently. In the final moments, Lady Bird and her family were on their way to the airport. Before going through the terminal, she spoke to her mother again, hoping that Marion would talk to her. Even though she expressed how deeply sorry she was to her mother, Marion still chose to stay in her place and not see her off. Unbeknownst to her, however, Marion had written unfinished letters about Lady Bird and what it meant to become her mother. The letters were never sent, but because of her father, they eventually found their way into her hands.

Overall, the movie did a great job of showcasing how each character is flawed yet human. Despite Lady Bird and her mother, Marion, not being on good terms most of the time, it is evident in every scene that their arguments are rooted in deep love for each other, showing that they are aggressive because they care. This summarizes how, while they are flawed characters seen in movies, they accurately reflect the messy yet genuine bond that defines many real mother-daughter relationships.