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General Sex Ed Timeline

0-2 Years Old

• Care giver/child dynamics offer a role model of healthy relationships—every child is learning about love, safety and how to trust others  

• Name their emotions so they start learning the language for how to discuss them when they are speaking later in life

• For biological kids there is a shift from thinking the birth parent is the self around 9 months

• Diaper changes are the perfect opportunity to begin teaching children the correct terms for body parts, and can be an opportunity to begin learning self hygiene 

• Around 2, children take another step into autonomy by using the word no. Learn that, when possible, you'll honor their no.

•  Positively acknowledge your child’s exploration of their body. Teach them the difference between what is private vs public behavior  

3-5 Years Old

• As your child’s gender identity develops, respecting their personal expression encourages them to respect themselves and others  

• Deeper Autonomy is found by children around age 3, support their need to differentiate from others while encouraging them to expand their reality

• Teach them about appropriate touch and how to say no to unwanted touch. Give support at greetings and goodbyes when they do not want to be touched by others

• Listen to them, and interact with things that interest them, so they know they can come to you and other trusted adults about things that trouble them. When we listen to the small things, children are more likely to be open and talkative about things that are harder and more important

•  Be ready to give a simple description of where babies come from when they ask

• Start to help them understand that their actions effect others around them, and how to process when they may have their feelings hurt, or when they hurt another's feelings. 

6-8 Years Old

• Actively teach children boundaries and consent through play, allowing them to disagree for non care related, or non emergent decisions

• Give small pools of choices for them to make their own decisions, such as offering a choice between 2 outfits, or 2 different cereals

• Begin to answer more mature questions about reproduction  

• As children become more independent, continue to listen their ever more complex lives. Ask questions about things they enjoyed, disliked, might have scared them, or thought were funny. Ask them about the adults they saw

• Begin to explain puberty and what to expect with more time spent on the beginning stages, like big emotions, and physical changes

• Share resources early and often  

• Promote healthy body image by answering questions about differences with the theme that everyone is worthy of love and respect. 

  • Do your best not to speak negatively of yours or anyone else's body

  • When possible, introduce children to people who have different bodies than they do 

  • When you notice a bias of yours come up, allow them to see you unlearning, processing, and growing! Teaching children your values is easiest when using real life examples as they happen

9-12 Years Old

• Delve deeper into children's understanding around puberty, and the diversity of bodies, life experiences

• Start actively discussing how to process emotions in healthy ways during emotional moments for them and yourself if possible. 

• As your child goes through puberty, emphasize that all bodies develop differently and at their own pace  

• Reinforce that masturbation is natural and healthy, but should be done privately

•  Share personal experiences or use examples from popular media to discuss what healthy relationships look and feel like 

• Go into biology a little deeper. 

• Talk generally about STIs and safety measures. 

• Put words to sexual consent

•  Discuss your family’s expectations and values about dating and sexual activity

• Talk about Peer pressure and media influence 

13-18 Years Old

• • • Talk about the risks and responsibilities of intimacy 

    • Discuss substance use and the risks, as well as lowered inhibitions

    • Name and discuss Empathy and Compassion. Give real memories as examples 

    • Discuss how birth control and STI barriers work and why barriers are important for all encounters

    • Teach them to examine their chests, lymph nodes, and genitals in a safe setting to get to know their individual lumps and bumps

    • Explain menstrual cycles to children of all sexes, and go into more detail of child growth and birth for ages 15 and up

    • Encourage your child to evaluate their relationships, discussing red and green flags

    •  Reinforce that healthy relationships are built on trust and consideration of everyone's needs, including their own

    •  Practice saying “no.” in different ways. Help them parse out when opportunities for soft "no's" or hard "no's" would be appropriate. Discuss in more detail about mutual consent, and the importance of listening to their intuition. Express the importance of honoring another person's "no", even if the word "no" isn't spoken.  

    •  Share what they might expect during a reproductive doctors appointment

18-25 Years Old

• Discuss pleasure, and the importance of everyone being considered during intimate encounters

• Go more deeply into the process of growing a child and birthing a child for anyone who will be interested in being a parent one day, no matter their sex

• Encourage them to learn their own bodies, and to practice advocating for themselves in intimate situations

25+

• Intimate Body Knowledge; General questions 

• A more specific understanding of Reproduction

• A more specific approach to discussing Pleasure

• Discussions of long term relationship dynamics

• Menopause and Andropause

• Death