EDI Thought for the month: Non-Violence

By Fitzgerald Clark, DYS Director of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion

“We adopt the means of nonviolence because our end is a community at peace with itself. We will try to persuade with our words, but if our words fail, we will try to persuade with our acts.”

― Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

EDI Thought for the Month

Nonviolence is the Sanctuary theme of the month and one of the central principles of the civil rights movement led by Dr. King. In order to build healthy inclusive communities here at DYS, we have to pay attention to making sure our environment is free from physical, psychological, social and moral violence.

As the above quote from Dr. King points out, words and actions are both necessary to build a healthy inclusive community. One of the important EDI practices that we can use to nurture our inclusive communities is to “seek clarification”.

There will be times something is said or done that could splinter the peaceful community we have with our coworkers.  Someone may say or do something that seems rude, offensive, or inappropriate. When that happens, we naturally may want to respond aggressively to this seeming affront or to ignore it and pull back, thus allowing it to erode our sense of moral, psychological and social safety.

A helpful first response is to seek clarification about what the person meant by their words or actions. It is often the case that the way words or actions are understood by one person may be very different from the way they were intended.

We all see the world through the lens of our life experiences. That view is valid, but it is only one perspective on the world. Oftentimes when we respond to moments of potential conflict with curiosity to seek clarification, we can gain a different understanding of that experience that may very well shift how we interpreted what just happened.

After we have sought clarification, it can be very helpful to also share how you understood what was said or done and how it impacted you. By doing this you build understanding in the other person and lessen the likelihood of such potentially disruptive actions or words.

Effective communication and shared understanding are some of the most effective means we have for ensuring strong healthy, inclusive communities here at DYS. In those first moments when estrangement arises, seeking clarification can often transform a moment that harms our relationships into one then strengthens them.