Dear year 7 student,

I am from Year 9 and I am writing to you because I need your advice on which school I should go to. I am undecided, not knowing if I should follow my parents' decision, or if I should go to Bandeirantes with my friends.

My parents think I should go to a school which is better for my future, however, I don’t know anyone there, and I am not sure if I will be able to socialize in high school. In addition, almost all my friends will go to Bandeirantes, so they keep asking me to go with them, making me confused on which school I should go to. This problem is ticking me everyday, and I can’t choose between the two options. I don’t have much time left until I leave Stance, this fact makes me more anxious, making my decision more difficult.

I would really appreciate your help with this issue and I hope you guys can help me the best way possible.

Best regards,

Anonymous

Dear Y9 student,

As I can see, you are really in doubt about which school you should go to, which is a really difficult decision, so I suggest you try to think really well about it. Also, being calm should work.

I really think that your main problem is the opposition between what you think is nicer and guaranteed, going to bandeirantes and staying with your friends, and what looks better to your future but harder and boring, going to the school you think you will have better learning but you don’t know anyone there. If I were in your place, I would  try to hear all sides and understand them, trying to discover what I really want and balancing it with what would be better for me. One thing you should do is to analyse all the different sides and how each aspect will affect you, but principally understand you. Understand what you think is better for you and what you want, without forgetting to reflect really much about it, because when you don’t, you exclude an analysis that improves your critical thinking as said by  Decision Mastery. 

Other problems observed were your anxiety, confusion and little time in school that aren't an enormous deal alone but with one feeding another are a gigantic trouble in collaboration. This happens because if you have little time to decide something, this will make you more and more anxious and being too anxious can contribute to your confusion.  One thing that you could do to better control your emotions in your time left in Stance is to relax, but principally choose some moments of your routine to reflect. In your free time, try to sit and think about your problem. This reflection time will make you feel better and prepared or even make you have a decision. If you do this you would be emotionally prepared for a disaster or emergency (in this case a decision) which would help you reduce your anxiety as said by My Health Alberta. Resuming, you must do it.

In conclusion, try to reflect well about your decision and separate moments for doing it because as I mentioned, according to Decision Mastery, when you don't reflect you can lose part of an important critical thinking. If reflecting doesn't work really well you can vent to someone you trust a lot. You can also try to do both or even try to reflect more times. Lastly, I really wish that I could help you. I hope that this difficult moment is resolved well and that you will have many good moments independently of which school you go to.  

Sincerely,

Y7 - Felipe Matsuda