Dear Year 7 Student,

I am a Year 9 student who’s leaving Stance at the end of the year, and I really need your help! I’m scared that leaving school keeps me away from my friends. I have a group of friends and they are the most special people I’ve ever met, however, we will be separated. 

I’ve never changed schools, so I’m really scared of distancing myself from my friends and losing contact with them. I worry that things won’t be the same and that I might feel lonely in my new school. In addition, it makes me feel sad, because these friendships mean so much to me. I’m also nervous about meeting new people, because I don’t know if I’ll ever find friends as special as the ones I have now, in this school. At the same time, I want to stay positive and not overthink about this, but it’s hard when I think that all things are changing so soon, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Stance finishes in Year 9, and we are in Year 9!

I would really appreciate your help with this and I hope you can help me the best way possible!

Best regards,

Year 9 student

Dear Y9 student,

You are afraid of losing contact with your friends. I know that what you are going through is difficult but I am here to help you, how about being open to your friends?.You should think that your friends also care about you, they really like you and don’t want to lose contact with them.

Have you tried not thinking bad about it ? I think that your problem is caused by overthinking bad contexts of what will happen. If you overthink about it, you stay nervous about this. In a more detailed way, you need to think that your friends also want you to be with them and get in normal contact, you are overthinking about it, and this makes you really nervous and stressed. If you talk to your friends, you will understand that they also like you and want to stay in contact with you. I will give some information that will help you. As CHCP said ”Positivity is a mindset that focuses on viewing situations optimistically and practicing self-compassion, gratitude, and resilience. Positive thinking isn’t about ignoring challenges or difficult emotions; instead, it’s about approaching them constructively.” If you tell your friends that you are really important to them, they will understand that you really care about them and they must be too, so don't think it is a bad option, understand that they will be sad too. My advice is to not overthink about losing contact with your friends, and try to talk to them and express to them how much you like them and care for your friendship. If that happens to me, I would try to make the more memories you can with them, and at the end of the year you could say to them everything I said to you. You could make a group chat with them that is there you could mark some meetings, or even try to make a weekly or mensal hobby, in which you all are in there,according to NBC news “Staying close with a friend who moves far away is difficult by definition. We became close with our friends in the first place because we mutually let one another into our lives, and were there for one another when we needed support. That’s the difference between knowing classmates, neighbors, and coworkers and being friends with them, explains Mahzad Hojjat, PhD, Professor of Psychology at University of Massachusetts Dartmouth and co-editor of the book "The Psychology of Friendship".” In my opinion you should really get contact with them, because I saw how much you care for your friendship with them, and those friendships are not broken just with a school ending. If I were in your place,I would follow this advice and see how my friends care for me too..

Don’t forget to make the most memories possible, because if my advice fails, you could have many memories to carry with you during this time you are separated from them. My advice would work because as you said, you are big friends and those friendships are not easily broken. My personal recommendation is to make memories and enjoy it, because if everything goes wrong you can carry those memories with you. If everything is wrong, you could at least talk to other people and see if they like the same things as you, or seem like good friends, inBBC’s perspective “Join a club or after school activity to meet new people, Be yourself and you’ll make friends with people like yourself, smile and be approachable, make an effort to speak to people even of it takes you out of your comfort zone, don’t rush this: the most genuine friends come gradually as you get to know each other, not by trying to be instantly popular, you will be seated with different people in different subjects and will have to work together. This is a good opportunity to get to know your classmates and form new friendships.” I said that but I really wish you would get in contact with them and that you feel that you are in a safe place with your friends and family.

Sincerely,

Y7 - Enzo Veit Quinan