Skeleton Key 2: 667 Neighbor of the Beast (Video) (2008)

Skeleton Key 2: 667 Neighbor of the Beast (Video) (2008)

1/10

I do not know how this film used the name 'Skeleton Key' without getting sued. This movie had absolutely nothing to do with the original film. The similarities are about the same if you took 'Toxic Avenger 4' and renamed it 'Paranormal Activity 2'.

According to Netflix, a journalist goes to Nilbog (nicely original) and runs into zombies "in this slick and gory horror film". Netflix lies sometimes. I guess that was what happened if you just read the back of the DVD box. What I saw started with some party (not even a title card!) with a devil (visible only to the journalist) speaking to the journalist. Some other party participant mentions zombies, so the devil tells the journalist they are going to play a game. Whenever the journalist gets hurt, he loses points on his life bar, which they actually show on screen. To regain life, he must have sex with "all those hot asses". I wish I was making that up.

Then some 'zombies' show up. They look worse than the zombies from Zombie Lake, and some of them like to dance rather than attack people. Yeah, I don't know, either. Our journalist gets his groove on with first one, than three, rather ordinary looking women. Not exactly "hot" in my book. All the time he never takes any of his clothes off. And while the women did, I would have rather they did not. Meanwhile, the devil is sitting next to the bed watching while eating popcorn, wearing 3D glasses, and shouting "do it do it do it!" while shaking pom-poms. You might be tempted to think this would be funny. You would be wrong, or brain damaged.

The other actors (I can't really even call them characters) are mostly running around screaming. This was the first 20 or so minutes. Repeat for the entire movie.

The lighting was horrid, the sound levels were all over the place, and the camera was held by someone with ADD. Makeup and 'FX' were laughable. The dialong, when you could hear it, was either flat-out-bad, inane, or made no sense. The acting makes a Troma film look like an Oscar winner.

Overall, do not watch this film. I like bad films. I like Zombie Lake and Rock and Roll Zombies. This movie is awful and irritating. There is no 'so bad it's good' in it at all. It's just bad bad.