Shaitani Dracula (?)

(courtesy of Teleport-City)

Shaitani Dracula

10/10

Quick note- this is such a horrible movie I had to give it a 10.

I was introduced to this film by Keith of at TeleportCity. If you want an insanely detailed and very funny review, check that out- it made me track down this movie. And it was worth it.

The director is Harinam Singh, and by his body of work, he is India's Ed Wood, and I do not invoke that reference lightly.

First off, the language is either Hindi or Tamil, so I have no idea what they are saying except for the few times they speak English. The plot, such as it is, is that there is a Dracula. He has a bevy of monsters of all sorts, including vampires, a wolfman, a bat girl, a guy in a black body suit painted as a skeleton, a red-faced caveman....

Man, they are bad. The wolfman's mask falls off in the middle of a "fight", and Singh deemed it not necessary to edit it out. Quality folks, you can't spell it without "sucks."

Back to the plot- Drac and his minions seem to be haunting a forest near a town. Mainly it's two portly gentlemen and a group of 30 year-old campers that get bothered. I'd say threatened or menaced if the creatures did anything besides stand there and wave their arms around. Eventually the main girl, Sheetal, gets annoyed enough to bludgen Drac to death with a big cross. The end.

As I mentioned above, I don't know the spoken language, so there may be something I'm missing. But I highly doubt it. There are scenes of tress with nothing happening except poor sound FX. Sheetal generally just stands in front of said tress until either a friend or a monster saunters in, accompanied by more bad sound FX. The 2 portly gentlemen just walk around, see a ghoul, and saunter back the other way. There are static shots of the monsters every once in a while. At one point, the camping group is in the background while a goose bobs its head into the shot in the foreground. This movie exceeds chaotic in its flow. And I love it.

The film quality is about 1980's C-grade stock. The sound is actually decent except for the dubbed in sound FX which are much louder and rather grating. Most of them sound like someone trying to imitate various noises with just their voice. I can't even describe the pacing, since nothing really seems to go together. The acting is mostly a person or a group standing in a line facing the camera, or someone or monster walking straight at the camera.

This movie is bad. NOT "so bad it's good." It's "so bad it's completely hilarious." It's actually on YouTube if you want to look it up, but don't blame me for any mental diseases you contract while watching it.

This film is the absolute nadir of films, and if you have checked my other reviews, you know I've seen plenty of bad stuff. But it was so out-there that I couldn't stop watching it. Take this as you may, but if you want some ridiculously fun "horror", give it a shot.