Malibu Shark Attack (2009)

Malibu Shark Attack (2009)

2/10

Wow, this was bad even for the Sci-Fi (or is it SyFy?) channel. The only actress of note is Peta Wilson ("League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", TVs "Le Femme Nikita"), who is not even listed in the IMDB entry!

The plot revolves around a pack of goblin sharks that for some reason converge on the shoreline of Malibu. Biology lesson time: goblin sharks are deep sea sharks, usually ranging from 250 meters down to 1,300 meters of depth. They also do not run in packs. Further, they are found mostly around Japan, but also occasionally around Australia and sometimes in the Gulf of Mexico. The CGI'd version shown in this movie is sad. They are scarier looking in real life.

Malibu, check. Sharks, check. Attacks, check. All we need now is a tsunami caused by an underwater earthquake. Check. Through a bunch of machinations, a group of people are stuck in a life guard shack and another group is in a nearby building that is under construction are surrounded by the sharks. See, the tsunami flooded the beach area with about 20 feet of water, even though five minutes later a reporter is standing on what is clearly a normal beaching reporting. The reports are great. "This tsunami was bigger than the Indian Ocean tsunami." A minute later, "Hundreds of people are reported dead." Wow, a few hundred Malibu people are greater than 50,000+ non-Americans.

The sharks begin attacking the shack, so various attempts at leaving and rescue are attempted. Some work, some do not. We have a boat that runs out of gas at a very bad time. We have a rip off of a "Jaws" end sequence.

The last half hour just get increasingly stupid. Circular saws and nail guns for defense. Dynamite. The mind boggles. The ending is awful.

The sharks and tsunami are CGI'd, and badly. There are no real shots of the sharks, and for a good reason: they are very rarely seen in the wild. There are bad green-screen scenes. The acting is just terrible, evan Peta's. I don't know how she got roped into doing this film. Audio FX equalization is way off. I actually muted the volume a few times when the younger girl was screaming it was so loud. There are some fun moments. A pair of paragliders dip into the water and only one comes back up with his legs intact. While trying to save one woman, the 'heros' only retrieve an arm. Who knew that goblin sharks could jump five feet into the air?

A badly executed idea. Wrong shark type, bad CGI, inexcusable shot non-continuity, and using way too many cliched horror tropes just buried this film. It is a good watch if you want to give it the MST3K treatment (which we had a fun time doing). Outside of that exercise, save your time for "Plan 9" or "Manos".