Taxi Driver (1990)
["Taxi Driver" is an account of the daily life of a cab driver, complete with details and tricks of the trade.
The term "chaffeur" reflects Lebanon's deep ties with France and the French language.]
I remember when I left Lebanon
With eleven pounds and two nickels in my pocket
And a pair of pants and some underwear in my suitcase
And I migrated to the lands of the Americas
The trip in the airplane took about a day
They shook us around worse than on a bus
In the end we landed in a vast airport
I could barely find my way to the waiting lounge
I was met by my cousin Abo Omeir (1)
He asked, "How's the family?" I answered, "All right."
And I said, "Wein can I find some work? You're the expert." (2)
He said, "In California you don't say 'wein', you say 'where.'"
The next day I went to the employment office
The lady in charge asked me about my past education
I spread out my B.A. in English Literature and said, "How's that?"
She laughed at me and said, "My, you are funny."
Once again I found myself wandering in the street
And a voice within me said, "What will you do now, you pitcher?" (3)
So I swore I'd find an occupation and stop loitering around
And from that day, people, I became a taxi driver
I have an Oldsmobile station wagon, '82 model, 4 door, 6 cylinders,
A.C., automatic transmission, power steering, A.M., F.M. radio,
power windows, leather seats, railing on the top for luggage,
and on the dashboard I have one of those postcards of
a girl who winks at you, you know the one? (4)
I wake up early in the morning
And bring out the oranges and make orange juice
And I do fifteen minutes worth of Swedish exercises
And go to work before the birds arise
I take my cab and park it at the hotel
And I go in to greet Mr. Jackson, the bellman
He's a fine man, respectable human being and honest gentleman
I slip him two dollars and he unearths a customer fast as a gazelle (5)
Like any driver, I like to start my day with tourists
The tourist season arrives immediately following the apple season
And in the city the taxi driver is like the farmer
Until he toils for twelve hours he does not rest
Every half hour I check the train station
I might get a customer just arriving from Hawaii
Or a German, or Japanese, or one from Shanghai
And a good driver knows a bit of every language
["Where can I take you, sir?"
"San Pablo con Shattuck, la casa de muchacha, por favor."
"You got it."]
For a businessman I tune the radio to the news
And switch to classical music if I get an older gentleman
And crank up the disco station for the young ladies
And when alone I shut it off and compose poetry
You'll either find me stuck in a traffic jam
Or checking the anti-freeze in the radiator
Or cursing and messing with the carburator
Or perhaps the car needs a whole new motor
In the morning, a newspaper, cup of coffee and a cigarette
And at noon a chicken sandwich and a can of Pepsi
(...the crowd urges the singer to repeat the phrase)
In the morning, a newspaper, cup of coffee and a cigarette
And at noon a chicken sandwich and a can of Pepsi
I'm neither a surgeon nor an astronaut, nor a nuclear scientist
I'm just "mouallem" Munir, taxi driver (6)
(1) Cousin Omar is called Abo Omeir as a term of endearment.
This is a common variation on terms of endearment, where a smaller name is substituted for the original name.
Example: "Nahr" is river, "Nuheir" is small river.
(2) "Wein" is Lebanese for "where", and the similarity begged usage in this manner.
(3) "Pitcher", as in pitcher of water, was used strictly in my family, where my father would call
a kid "pitcher" as a loving put-down.
(4) These postcards were very common in Lebanon in the 1960s, though only in taxi cabs. Gaudy things.
(5) When you want someone to perform an action immediately, you order,
"Quick, like a gazelle," the gazelle being one of the fastest sprinters in the wild. Of course, we've never seen a gazelle here in Lebanon.
(6) "Mouallem" is a title given to someone who is master of their trade.
The word also refers to school teachers.