things that inspire me

things that inspire me: 3 o’clock in the morning, silence, happiness, water, the

atlantic, lake michigan. new smyrna beach and drugs and peach walls and mazzy

star and the sound and smell of the ocean through the open balcony doors.

juxtapositions, spring and fall, the way the earth dies and grows in painful increments,

each leaf in its own time; the way the flowers look against the skeletal trees. winter

in all of its forms: the sounds of ice, the dead things, the heavy softness of snowfall.

roadtrips, the great empty swathes of the midwest, skylines in the distance, the arizona

desert out the window — the memory of the rocky mountains in an april snowstorm on

lsd. empty buildings and desolate cities and abandoned places; exploring the off-limits.

sunrises and sunsets, dawns and dusks, the mutability of the light, the liquid changing

between day and dark.

i sit alone in my apartment with my arms hugging my knees, with my head tipped slightly

to one side. i remember these things while staring vacantly at the dirty white walls;

everybody knows why i can’t write.