fuckoffchris day2

“But it’s early and cold,” I mumbled, pulling the blankets over my face.

“Too bad,” he said, wholly unrepentant.

I ignored him, also unrepentant, until something smallish, squirming, and unreasonably full of unreasonably sharp things landed directly on my stomach.

“Fuck!” I yelled, curling myself into a ball, but the kitten just resettled himself on my ribcage and recommenced his manicure. “Asshole,” I informed him, but he just purred in reply, distinctly pleased with himself.

I finally shoved the blankets down, scooping up a protesting Ukulele and glaring at him, then at the insufferable human with an identical smirk on his face. “Asshole,” I repeated. “I know where you sleep.”