The Plot Thickens

The Three Little Pigs, ala "The Plot Mountain": (story adapted by John Chamberlain)

Exposition: The three pigs set off to explore the world, each fervently believing the sun will rise and set on his desires. They each choose a place to build their respective, respectable homes.

Rising Action 1: The first pig quickly picks straw as his primary building material, based its stackability, aesthetic value, and general "back to the womb" associations to his primal manger.

Crisis #1: The wolf comes by, sneezes -- highly allergic to straw particles under 2 microns -- and decides to give him a lesson in construction etiquette.

Rising Action 2: The straw pig joins the stick pig, and they taunt the approaching wolf, safe inside the hastily-fabricated stick structure.

Crisis #2. Feeling miserable once again, and motivated by retributive justice, the bullied wolf wipes out the stick house. The pigs hightail it and barely make it to the brick pig's palatial abode.

Climax: The pigs, now reunited once again, just like old times, survive the repeated assaults by the wolf, culminating in the wolf's narrow descent down the chimney.

Falling Action: The wolf slips and lands in a vat of boiling water, set there by the brick pig. Bon appetit!

Epiphany: The pigs acknowledge that bricks are stronger than straw or sticks, though less appealing. The straw and stick pigs sense their underlying immaturity, confront their mother for her favoritism, and vow whatever pigs vow in moments like these.

Resolution: Life goes on; the brick house is cash-out refinanced several times, and therapy ensues. -- J.C.