It was about a week after Javier had deployed that Riley decided she would cheer up her roommate, Elizabeth, who was presumably upset about Javier not being around. They had been friends for a long time and had memorized each other's work schedules, they were very knowledgeable about each other's whereabouts. Riley felt that if Elizabeth was spending too much time alone at home, she would start getting depressed, so Riley decided to surprise her one day and leave work early.

"Shit, what is she doing here?" Elizabeth loudly exclaimed as she saw Riley's car, from the corner of her eye, pulling up to park.

"Is that your roommate?"

"You need to get your clothes on and sneak out of the back" Elizabeth said to the naked man approaching the couch from the bedroom.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not kidding babe, you need to get the fuck out of here" Elizabeth looked out the window and noticed Riley talking to her neighbor. They were probably talking about the flowers that Riley had in her hand for her roommate.

"Look, this is ridiculous, why don't you just introduce us and tell her about me"

"That's a terrible idea" Elizabeth responded.

"We've been together for about three months now. I'm not enjoying the fact that you feel like you need to hide me from your friends like you're ashamed of me"

"I'm not ashamed of you" Elizabeth replied in an exasperated manner. "This is not the time to talk about this, you need to get your clothes on and leave right now. I'll call you later"

Less than two minutes later, Riley entered the house and Elizabeth was the only person in there.

"What are you doing here so early?" Elizabeth asked

"Well, these are for you" Riley said as she handed Elizabeth the flowers. "I figured I'd work a half day today and go out to lunch with you"

"Right now?"

"Yeah, it's about lunchtime. Is that okay? I assumed you didn't have any plans"

"No, that's fine. Let me have a shower first and then we'll get going"

Elizabeth got ready and left with Riley. The two girls had a great time having lunch together, going to the movies, stopping by the bar and then finally going home.

The day was about to end before Elizabeth came clean and broke some news to Riley.

"Riley, there's something you should probably know"

"What's that?" Riley responded

Elizabeth took a deep breath and said, "There was a boy in the house, just before you got here"

"What do you mean?"

"I told him to sneak out of here. I saw you pulling in and I didn't want you to walk in on him being here"

"You had a boy over?"

"It's not like that?"

"Well, what's it like then?" Riley asked, "Javier has barely been gone a week and you're already having boys over?"

"Not boys, just one boy, his name in Calvin"

"I don't care about what his name is" Riley replied, "Did you and Javier break up?"

"No, we didn't break up"

"So what's the deal with this Calvin guy?"

"We've been seeing each other for a few months now" Elizabeth responded.

There was an awkward silence in the room. Riley, being close friends with Javier, and missing him herself, was feeling betrayed by Elizabeth's actions.

"You've been cheating on him?" she asked.

"Riley" Elizabeth responded, "It's not working out"

"Well, of course it's difficult Liz, I understand that things aren't easy with Javier being in the Army but you can't be cheating on him"

"I understand what you're saying Riley, but I don't love him" Elizabeth replied

"Really? He's gone for a week and you don't love him anymore?"

"I've been falling out of love with him for the last few months"

"Then you should've broken up with him before he left"

"You don't get it Riley" Elizabeth tried to explain, "Javier is a hero to all the people in our neighborhood. I didn't have the ability to decide that I didn't love him anymore and break up with him when he was about to deploy"

"Of course you did"

"I didn't" Elizabeth replied. "More and more, I've stopped being Elizabeth and just started being Javier's girlfriend. There's value to being that and there are consequences to not being that in circumstances like this"

"You should have broken up with him" Riley replied, "If you're worried about what our friends think, the consequences of cheating on Javier are worse than the consequences of breaking up with him"

"I don't want to break his heart" Elizabeth said. "I'm not in love with him anymore, but I still want to be there for him"

"He's in love with you" Riley responded. "He is crazy in love with you"

Love can be dangerous. I don't think Riley knew how much she underestimated how crazy in love Javier was with Elizabeth.

* * * * *

Saturday, Sept 22nd, 2018 (7 days before the arrest)

"Hailey tells me she's coming to the show tonight" Laurie says to me as she pours out the cereal into the bowls for breakfast on the morning of our Ale Chambers show.

"Yeah" I reply. "I've been texting her. We like the same kind of music so I think she'll have a good time"

It may seem obvious but it was actually less obvious than it seemed. Laurie did not know who Hailey was to me. Having the relationship that Laurie and I have, I did talk to her about Hailey the day after Kevin's party, but I never actually told her the name. I just told her that I had instantly fallen in love with someone, but it didn't matter because she was gone. Laurie told me that if I was sure of how I felt, I should go after her and follow her to Miami. I didn't. I thought it was excessive and I was afraid that I would scare her off. They say if you love someone then set them free and if they come back, it was meant to be. I set Hailey free and now she's back.

"She's pretty" Laurie said

"She certainly is" I responded

"She's single" Laurie said

"Is she really?" I asked.

"Yeah, she was with someone in Miami but it didn't work out" Laurie replied.

It made me happy to hear that

"Are you trying to date her?" Laurie asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Well, she's pretty, she's single, we have a lot of common, I think the least I should do is try" I responded

Laurie sighed.

"What?" I asked

"I don't know Torrey, I have to work with her" she responded "You can do whatever you want but just make sure it doesn't bounce back to hurt me in any way"

"What do you think is going to happen?"

"You could have sex with her and not call her back"

"Look at her and look at me" I responded "Could you really imagine a world where I'm the person who has sex with her and doesn't call her back"

Laurie kind of chuckled and then warned me to be careful. She called Molly downstairs to have breakfast.

"Good morning Molly" I said as I saw her. I got no response at all. Molly was still understandably upset with me and giving me the silent treatment.

"Molly" I tried again, but Molly was pretending that I wasn't in the room.

"Molly you know that I love you right? And you know that I'm sorry? And you know that if there was anything I could do to make it better I would?" I tried all the lines but none of them made any impact on her.

"Molly, you know that Torrey would never try to make you sad right? Do you think you're ready to forgive him?" Laurie asked on my behalf.

"Not yet" Molly responded to her

"Okay, I'll be waiting" I said to Molly. She wouldn't even make eye contact with me.

"I love you" I said. It's always awkward when "I love you" isn't followed by "I love you too" but this time it was expected.

"Alright, I'm heading out. I'll see you at the show Laurie" I said

"See you at the show"

I headed out but Laurie called me back in to kiss me on the cheek and tell me she loved me before I got in my car. Laurie comes to my shows but Ben stays home with the kids. Laurie does want the kids to hear me use the words that I use at the shows.

The hours passed and it was finally time for the show. I walked into Ale Chambers and said hi to Adam. Adam owns the bar. There aren't a lot of places that let you play original music. If most bars are going to hire you as entertainment, they want you to play songs that the patrons would know and can possibly dance to. Adam is different. He's a fan of music and he likes to showcase us.

"How's it going, Adam?" I ask as I see him.

"It's going great, the rest of the guys are here so you can get started in about half an hour" He says.

I look around the bar and I'm happy to see that a lot of our friends took the time to be there. Javier seems to be the chief guest of the event as people start buying him drinks and thanking him for his service.

I see Cindy and I thank her for coming to the show. I had no idea she was going to be there, but I guess with Laurie and Hailey talking about the show at work, she decided she would tag along.

About 15 minutes before the show is about to start Hailey walks in to the bar. She sees Michael and she gives him a really big hug and they share a "long time, no see" conversation. Michael used to date one of Hailey's best friends, and as I'm sure you remember, that was the reason Hailey was at Kevin's party.

Seeing Michael there and talking to him does something for Hailey. It starts to trigger the memory of where she knows me from. This is something that I have obviously known the whole time but is something that's new to her.

She walks up to me, gives me a big hug and says the words "I think I remember where I know you from"

"You do?" I say. I'm not really sure how I should be responding in this situation. I'm not a very good liar, and I wonder how Hailey is going to respond when she knows that I've known who she was this whole time.

"Yeah, I was at Michael's house warming party, and I was with a friend, and she had this thing with Michael so she ditched me to hang out with her, and then you were a really good friend to me that night" she said.

"Yeah, now you mention it, I remember that too" I say "Small world"

"Yeah I know. That was my last night in Milwaukee before I moved to Miami"

"That's right, that's right, I remember" I say, as she presents this information to me as if it is new. It becomes evident to me that it's possible that Hailey remembers the night a lot different than I did. I felt like I met my soulmate while Hailey felt that she met a single-serving friend.

Hailey gives me another big hug, I smell her hair, she wishes me good luck and she moves over to sit with Laurie and Cindy. Javier is sitting with a group of friends that we went to high school with.

"Hello everyone, thanks for coming out, we are 'a nuclear family'" I yell to the crowd, Michael starts playing the riff to "Restless Heart" and we get started.

The show moves along about as well as I expected. The shows never get too crazy as we only have about 40 or 50 people watching us, but I like to look at their faces and make sure they are having a good time.

Our set is meant to last us about an hour and a half. Towards the end of our set I look at the familiar faces around the room. Laurie knows every single word to every single song that we play. Cindy is there. I can't tell if she's having a good time or not but I can tell that she's there. Hailey looks really impressed. She has such a big smile on her face and she looks enamored. I notice a few boys around her trying to talk to her and I'm happy to see her give them minimal attention. She's focused on the band and she's enjoying the show.

There's a face missing from the show. While singing, I try panning across the room and Javier is nowhere to be found. I noticed it a few minutes ago and figured that he went out for a smoke. I keep the show going. I'll figure out what's happened with him when the time comes.

We perform "The Spark" as our last song. I don't always think it's a good idea to end a show with a slow song but this is the song we've been closing with ever since we started doing shows.

"Thanks a lot everybody. we are 'A nuclear family' like us on Facebook, follow our twitter account and keep coming out to our shows, have a good night and be safe"

It's only a few seconds after we get off stage that Adam walks up to me and tells me that we need to talk. I follow him to his office.

"What's going on Adam?" I ask him

"We had to kick your friend out" he replies

"Javier?" I ask

"Yep" Adam responds.

"What happened? Why did you kick him out?"

"He got into a fight Torrey, he was beating the shit out of this guy" Adam replies, "I can't have that happen here, I need to keep everyone safe"

I know that people who go to the Army are sometimes considered to be tough guys who just want to fight, but that's not the case with most people and that's definitely not the case with Javier. I've known him since we were both little kids and he has always been the furthest thing from volatile. I understand that sometimes people come back from a war different than when they left, but Javier needs to be treated like the person he was before he left.

"He can't ever come back here Torrey"

"Adam, you can't do that, he was in Afghanistan, he's probably got PTSD or some shit like that"

"I understand and I'm thankful for his service, and the way I repaid him was by not calling the cops" Adam says. "Look, everyone was scared. The guy he was fighting didn't do anything, he didn't want to fight back, he kept trying to walk away from Javier, but Javier kept following him and beating the shit out of him. He wouldn't stop. It took a lot of my people to lift him up and get him out of there. I don't say this lightly, he would have probably killed the other guy if we didn't intervene"

This did not sound like Javier at all.

"Adam, he's only in town for a couple weeks. This is the bar we hang out in. He's only going to be here with me and this won't happen again"

"I don't feel safe, Torrey"

"He's a war hero. He's seen some awful shit. I know what happened today was terrible but you can't be the guy who says no to a man who was willing to give his life for you"

Adam sighed.

"He can't come in here by himself, and he's always got to be supervised" Adam finally said.

"Alright" I responded. I wasn't happy about Javier needing a chaperone but I felt that it was a fair compromise. I pulled out of my phone to call Javier to make sure he was alright.

"I'm sorry man" was the first thing that he said when he answered the phone

"Where are you?" I asked him

"I'm in the parking lot"

I hung up and headed to the parking lot to find him sitting on the hood of his car.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as I joined him on the hood.

"I'm too drunk to drive" he said

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No man, I'm gonna walk. You better get in there and talk to Hailey before someone else does"

"You can't walk home man, don't worry about Hailey, let's just go" I insisted.

"I'm not ready to go home right now" Javier said

"Then let's talk" I replied.

"No, you need to get going"

"I'm spending the next few minutes sitting on the hood of this car with you" I replied, "We can sit in silence or you can choose to talk to me"

We talked for a few minutes and then I got him into the passenger seat of my car and drove to his house. I pulled up to his driveway, walked with him inside and waited for him to get ready for bed.

"Thanks a lot" Javier said in an exhausted voice as he lay in bed.

"You'd do the same for me" I replied. I was about to walk out when Javier said one more thing that made me have to stay a little bit longer.

"Did you know Lizzy was going to be at the show?"

"Lizzy"

"Lizzy. Liz. Elizabeth. She didn't know I was in town and she came to your show" Javier said

"I didn't see her. I didn't know she was going to be there" I answered. Suddenly Javier acting out made a little more sense. Javier's ex-girlfriend was a trigger for him.

"She was with Calvin" He said

I took a deep breath and sat down next to him.

"Did you know that Calvin was fucking her a few weeks after I deployed?" Javier asked, clearly still unaware that Calvin and Elizabeth's relationship started when Javier and Elizabeth were still an item.

"Yeah" I replied.

"And she never told me about him. We were in communication. She promised me that she would wait for me, and it only took a couple weeks before she was fucking someone else"

"We stopped talking to her when we found out" I responded.

"Fuck her" Javier responded

"You're damn right"

"But did you all stop talking to her?" Javier asked

"Absolutely"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean it was really shitty but I guess I can understand it on some level. No one wants to be alone. We weren't married, I didn't owe her anything. I wasn't around"

"It's because she made you a promise that she knew she was never going to keep" I answered "She gave you hope and something to look forward to when you came back, even though she knew it didn't exist anymore, and there are few things in life worse than making someone believe in something that you know isn't true"

Javier was quiet for a little bit before he said "I shouldn't have beaten the shit out of Calvin though"

"It was excessive" I chuckled back "But it was a long time coming" I was smiling but Javier wasn't. I could see him laying down with his eyes wide open just staring at the ceiling

"I guess I'm not okay, Torrey" he finally said

"None of us are" I replied.

"I need help"

"I know" I said, "I'm going to find someone to help you"

"Okay"

"You're home now. You'll always be one of us. As long as we're around, you'll always have a home"

"You need to go back to the bar and make sure Hailey's still there" He said, changing the subject

"Are you going to be alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow"

I got into my car and headed for the bar. I texted Hailey to find out if she was still there and I didn't get a response. I called her phone and she didn't pick up. It was possible that the music at the bar was too loud and she couldn't hear her phone.

I didn't realize how late it had gotten so I was surprised to see that almost everyone had left to either go home or go to a different bar. There was one familiar face and I walked over to her.

"You're still here Cindy?" I asked her

"Yeah, Oh Torrey you guys were great"

"Thanks a lot" I responded, knowing that she was just saying that to be nice.

"I really want you to come back to the nursing home and play for us again. The residents really loved it the last time you came"

"I'd love to, I enjoyed it too" I said

"How about Monday? Laurie is working that day, it'll be great"

"That should be fine" I responded "Do you know where Laurie and Hailey are?"

"Well, I am certain that Hailey is getting lucky right now and Laurie said she needed to go home to the kids" Cindy said

"What was that?"

"She said she needed to leave because she had to see the kids"

"Oh, okay cool, but Hailey too? Do you know where she went?"

"I don't want this to sound like I was spying on her, but I saw her, she was kissing and spending a lot of time with one of the guys here and I'm pretty sure she went home with him" Cindy said. I instantly felt clammy as I felt my heart sink again. Cindy must have noticed my expression "Are you okay, Torrey?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I responded. "I was just curious"

"Oh no" Cindy said "Did you think something was going happen tonight with you and Hailey?"

"No, no" I said. "I just felt like, you know, I invited her so I just wanted to make sure she had a good time"

"Oh, don't worry, she had a great time" Cindy responded "Your boy really made sure of that"

"My boy?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, the boy that she was making out with"

"Why do you say he's my boy?"

"Well he was wearing the same green t-shirt you're wearing. It was one of the boys in your band"

That changes everything. Hailey doesn't owe me anything and if she felt the need to hook up with a stranger at a bar, it had nothing to do with me, but everybody in the band knew who Hailey was and what she meant to me. Someone in the band clearly knew that I wasn't going to be around for a while and took advantage.

"Do you know who it was?" I asked Cindy.

"I don't know. I didn't really want to stare. I just know that it was someone who was in your band"

Maybe it was the fact that I was looking forward to tonight for a long time, or maybe it was the fact that I was exhausted after the show, or maybe it was that I had to deal with Adam and Javier, or maybe it was Cindy telling me that one of my best friends had betrayed my trust, but my face muscles clenched, and Cindy was able to notice how angry this whole thing made me.

"Oh no, I'm sorry" Cindy said. "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm not trying to cause any trouble"

It's a little too late for that, Cindy.

A Nuclear Family - What You Are To Me

A Nuclear Family - Somehow (Bonus)