There's something about uncertainty that creates an illusion of loneliness lasting forever. Sure, I've had my heart broken many times and a few days ago, I would never have imagined that I would want to put myself in that situation again, however, meeting Kylie really changed my perspective. I was ready to make another attempt at companionship and I realized that the coolest thing about me was the fact that I played in a band. If I was to have any chance at impressing her, it would have to be at one of my shows.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Kylie?" I asked, making sure I wasn't given a fake number.

"Yeah, is this Torrey?" it had only been a day but it was still a relief to know that she hadn't forgotten me or my name.

"Yeah this is Torrey, I know there's supposed to be a three day rule or something like that when you get a girl's number but I was just calling to say what's up?"

"That's all you were calling for?" she asked in response

"Yeah"

"I feel like you could have just texted me that" she replied, "I'm doing great though Torrey, how about you?"

"I'm doing wonderful" I replied

"I'm happy to hear that" she said

"I know this might be late notice, but I was just wondering what you were up to this Saturday?"

"I'm not sure" she responded, "Why?"

"I know we talked about a lot of things yesterday but did I mention to you that I was in a band?"

"Nope, I don't think you did" she replied.

"Well, I am" I replied, "We're playing a show on Saturday and it's really important for us to have a lot of people there. There's a chance that we could get signed by a pretty big label so we're trying to leave a good impression"

"Are you advertising right now?" Kylie asked

"Well besides the fact that this is an important show, on a personal level it would be great for me to see you there" I said, "Honestly, I was very impressed by you the last time we spoke so I'm hoping that I would be able to return the favor"

"That's very sweet of you to say" Kylie replied, "Are you nervous?"

It was a strange thing to think about, but when she said those words, I came to the realization that I wasn't nervous.

"No" I replied, "It's strange, but I don't feel nervous at all"

"That's great. I mean it's healthy to be nervous but it's also a great thing to have confidence"

"I think it might be the opposite" I replied

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what I mean" I replied, "It's weird but I'm suddenly realizing that I don't have to be nervous"

"You're going to have to explain yourself, Torrey"

"Michael, who's one of the guys in the band, has been saying that this band is not going to go places if I'm the lead singer. I should hate to admit this but, I'm pretty comfortable in saying that he's right"

"Are you sure you're trying to talk me into seeing your show?" Kylie asked

"I'm not a bad singer. I'm not a great singer either" I replied, "I'm figuring this all out as I'm saying this to you so I'm not sure about how I feel. I'll be honest with you, I want you to come to the show because the show is important to me and I'd like to see you again, but we're probably not going to get signed. If we had a different singer, someone who had a more powerful voice, the band might stand a chance"

"I haven't heard you sing but I'm sure you're making it sound worse than it actually is. I'm sure you'll be fine"

"I hope so" I replied, "But I don't doubt that the band would be better off without me. I feel like I owe a lot to them because they're my friends and they've been with me through a lot. I enjoy writing songs, so maybe I can do that for them and just have a different singer"

"I don't know enough about your band to contribute to this conversation" Kylie replied, "I guess I'll have to see you on Saturday and make up my mind then"

"That's what I like to hear" I said

"Where's the show going to be?" she asked

"It's going to be at Henry's"

"Great. I'll see you there"

"Sounds good"

At this point, I didn't know about what happened between Davey and Hailey, but thankfully for me, I met Kylie and it made getting over Hailey a surprisingly easy thing to do.

* * * * *

"We can't keep doing this, Ben" Laurie said as she was icing her side that got banged up against the kitchen counter.

"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry" Ben pleaded, "It's never going to happen again"

"You always say that"

"I know I do and I mean it" Ben said, "I just care about Molly and I worry that she's being distracted by all this music stuff. She's such a smart girl and her grades are dropping. I'm just worried about her"

"If you're worried about her, talk to her" Laurie said "You don't scream at her, she's not going to learn anything that way"

"I know baby, I'm just really stressed out. I know I could have handled it better and I'm going to from now on" Ben said as he kept looking at Laurie applying the ice on herself. There was a lot of swelling and a little bit discoloration as it was already beginning to turn into a bruise.

"Are you alright?" Ben asked

"I'm fine" Laurie replied. Ben wasn't convinced as he saw how bad she looked. He had laid bruises on her before but they had never quite looked this bad.

"Do we need to go to a hospital?" Ben asked

"A hospital? What are you fucking crazy?" Laurie responded.

"What if you've really hurt yourself. What if you've broken a bone or something?" Ben asked in a concerned manner.

"What am I going to tell a nurse or a doctor in the hospital when they ask me how this happened?"

"Tell them a resident hurt you at work" Ben replied

"I can't tell a doctor that" Laurie replied, "I can tell Torrey that and he'll believe but a doctor is not going to, and what happens if they go to work and find out it wasn't true? Nothing good is going to come out of going to the hospital"

Tears started to fill up in Ben's eyes as he started to realize the gravity of what he had just done. He walked up to, gave her a hug, put his head on her chest and started crying

"I'm a monster" Ben wailed

"You're not a monster, Ben" Laurie responded as he kissed him on his forehead, "You love us and you care about us, sometimes you just get carried away"

"It's never going to happen again, I promise you that" Ben said as he kept dampening Laurie's t-shirt with his tears.

"I know, Ben" Laurie responded, as she kept trying to comfort him.

"I'm nothing without you, baby, I'm nothing without any of you" Ben said, "I love you so much"

"I love you too, baby" Laurie responded.

You would need more than two hands to count how many times Laurie and Ben have had this exact conversation. This was a tiny example of the hold that Ben had on Laurie. I'm not too sure how he was able to do it, but he would hurt Laurie, and then make Laurie feel bad about it.

Friday Sept 28th, 2018 (1 day before the arrest)

I was trying to figure out the right time to talk to Laurie about all of this. I wasn't sure if she was aware that I knew about what had been going on. There was never really going to be a good time but I decided I would do it after the morning of our band practice.

"Laurie, I need to talk to you" I said. She was exhausted because she had worked a double shift the day before, but I still felt like this was the right opportunity since we were both at home by ourselves.

"What's up?" Laurie said as she was folding clothes in the living room.

"I need you to stop doing that because it's really important"

Laurie stopped folding the clothes and looked at me.

"Is everything okay?" Laurie asked.

"Everything is okay with me" I responded, "But I've been talking to Kevin and he told me a few things"

"What did Kevin say to you?" Laurie asked as she looked at me and tried to study my facial expressions.

"Kevin told me everything that you told him"

"Uh-huh" Laurie responded, trying to remember everything that she said to Kevin.

"How long have you known?" Laurie gently asked.

"Kevin told me a few days ago" I responded.

"Uh-huh"

"I need to know why you didn't tell me anything"

"There were a couple times as soon as it happened that I wanted to, but there was never really a good time to bring it up" Laurie said, "After I felt better I realized that there really was no point in saying anything at all"

"I'm just a little confused" I said "There's no way you could possibly think that Kevin would not tell me about it"

"I talked to Kevin because I felt like he already knew" Laurie said, "If I didn't talk to Kevin, he would have told you what he thought was happening. If I talked to him, I could tell him not to tell you anything, which I did, and obviously he didn't listen"

"Why didn't you want me to know?" I asked

"Because it sounds worse than it actually is" Laurie responded, "Ben is a really good guy. He cares for us and he looks after us"

"He's a piece of shit"

"He's the father of my children"

"He is not Molly's father"

"He's not Molly's father biologically, but he is Molly's dad"

"Laurie, I love you, don't take this wrong way, but what the fuck is the matter with you? You're smarter than this"

"Don't judge me, Torrey, you don't know anything" Laurie snapped back

"I know he's been hurting you" I said, "That's all I need to know"

"You don't know how hard it is to be a single mother, Torrey" Laurie responded. "You don't know hard it is to find someone who wants to be with somebody who has a kid"

"There are plenty of guys out there who would date someone who has a kid"

"Not a lot, Torrey" Laurie responded, "And that's not even it. He loves me, he loves Molly, he loves Charlie and he looks after all of us. I don't have a life outside work Torrey. I work and work and work and I can still barely afford to pay for all of us. Can you imagine what it would be like to do that without Ben?"

"So that's it?" I asked Laurie, "You're staying with him because he helps you pay the bills?"

"That's not what I'm saying Torrey, don't put words in my mouth"

"This is not good Laurie, and you know it" I responded, "Do you want Charlie to grow up to be like this?"

"Charlie and Molly don't know anything" Laurie said

"How do you know that?" I asked

"Because they're never around when anything happens" Laurie responded

"They're going to find out, Laurie, you're not going to be able to keep this a secret" I responded, "If Molly finds out, the lesson that she learns is that it's okay to stay with someone who beats the shit out of you"

"SHE'S NEVER GOING TO FIND OUT!" Laurie screamed at me. I did not have the energy to desire to get into a screaming match with her, so the screaming ended the conversation and brought quiet into the room. The interesting thing about quiet is that it allows you to take a step back and take everything in.

"Laurie" I gently said to her. "I'm here for you if you need me in any way possible. But you need to understand, I can't let you stay with him any longer. You've got to the kids and you've got to get out"

"I can't do that, Torrey" Laurie said

"Why not?"

"Because Ben needs me." Laurie said. "He has a sickness. It doesn't mean anything to you but we made a commitment to each other and we made a promise to stick it out through sickness and in health"

I walked up to Laurie and I sat down next to her and laid down my ultimatum.

"Laurie, things have got to change or I'm not going to let you stay with him any longer. I'm not going to let you make the decision on whether you're going to be seperated from him or not. I'm going to make that decision for you"

"What do you mean?" she asked

"It's very simple, Laurie" I responded, "If Ben ever touches you or hurts you again, I am going to kill him. I need you to know how serious I am. I'm not saying that in a playful way whatsoever. I mean every single word that I'm saying right now. If Ben ever lays a finger on you again, I don't give a fuck about being locked up for the rest of my life, I am going to kill him"

Being locked up for the rest of my life? Yeah that sounds about right.

A Nuclear Family - Ready