I've always had a little bit of admiration and envy for the way that Kevin lives his life. He doesn't really ever seem to care about what people think of him or how his actions affect other people. He lives his life the way he wants to and he does what makes him happy. You don't like it? You don't have to, just deal with it.

Kevin was blessed with good looks. He was tall and handsome, he was great at basketball, he had an infectious smile and people just loved being around him. Davey and I would see pretty girls and joke to each other about how they were out of our league and more in the Kevin League.

I don't know how different things would have been if I was born in Kevin's body instead of himself. If I could have sex as frequently and with as many different girls as Kevin does, I would probably have done the same. I don't judge the lifestyle that Kevin lives. It may seem disrespectful at times but it's consensual. The only time it doesn't sit well with me is when it's with someone that I want.

It was the Sunday morning after the show when Kevin called Riley and told her that they needed to talk. Kevin had some confessing to do. Riley is an easy person to talk to and she's well versed on what to do in situations like this.

"I don't think we were careful. I think people saw us leave together" Kevin explained "I doubt Torrey saw us because he had to deal with Javier's situation, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone saw us and told him"

"I don't know Kevin, you should probably just tell him. Chances are he's going to find out anyway, and if he does, it's best if it comes from you"

"What if she doesn't want Torrey to find out?" Kevin asked

"Do you think it's possible that Torrey doesn't find out?" Riley asked. "We're a pretty small community, people seem to find out everything about everyone. Besides, this isn't only about Torrey, it's about her too. There are people who know her and would have questions"

* * * * *

Monday, September 24th, 2018 (5 days before the arrest)

It was the next Monday and I found myself in the situation again where I was driving Laurie to work because I was going to be singing for the people at the nursing home.

I promised Laurie that I wouldn't let a situation with Hailey make things weird for her at work. Laurie knows how I feel for Hailey, but Hailey didn't do anything wrong. She didn't cheat on me because there was nothing going on between us. To be honest, I was more embarrassed than anything. There are a few things more embarrassing than everyone knowing that you're trying really hard to be with someone, but then you lost and someone else is going to be with her instead.

On the drive to work, with Charlie in the backseat, Laurie and I got to talking. She wasn't aware that Cindy had already told me what happened, so she started breaking the news to me.

"Torrey, there's something we need to talk about" Laurie started.

"What's that?" I responded

"It's about something that happened after your show"

"You don't need to tell me, Cindy told me already. Look, I promised you that everything is okay. Don't worry about me, I'm not going to be awkward about the whole thing"

"Cindy told you?" Laurie asked

"Yeah" I responded.

"Well" Laurie started, "I have a feeling everyone is going to be talking about it. Do you think things are going to be weird?"

"I'm okay" I assured her "I'm a little annoyed with Kevin because I felt like he should have at least told me something about what was going on, but you don't need to worry. This is not going to blow back on you in any way"

"Okay" Laurie responded "But you do know that this is not solely on Kevin here"

"I understand that you need two hands to clap, but Kevin has been getting on my nerves a lot lately" I said. "This is not the only thing that's been bothering me with him. We don't need to talk about this anymore. I'm not going to say anything to anyone, everything's going to be fine, we can just drop it"

The conversation ended at a perfect time. We arrived at the nursing home right when we were done.

"Remember, don't get late" Laurie reminded me.

"Charlie and I are not going to get late"

Laurie did her ritual of kissing me on the cheek, going to the backseat, kissing Charlie, reminding us both that she loves us, and saying goodbye.

The hours passed and it was time for me to get to the nursing home and do a show for the residents again. Like i said before, things are a lot different this time. I'm going in with the knowledge that Hailey is going to be there and she had just slept with one of my best friends.

I'm also going to pay particularly close attention to Andrew this time. I understand that he is a resident and he has dementia, but no person should be allowed to inflict that much pain on someone and leave bruises that dark.

I walk into the nursing home with Charlie again, and once again, Charlie steals the show. He loves Cindy so he runs straight to her and takes a seat in her office. How could he not love Cindy's office, it's the room that has a big bowl filled with little chocolates and candy, and Cindy let's him take as much as he wants. It's not healthy, but as far as I'm concerned, it's keeping Charlie occupied.

I see Laurie running around from room to room passing out the resident's medication. I see Hailey sitting with a few of her caregiver friends and chatting. It's amazing to me how Laurie always looks busy, and a lot of the other caregivers are chill and relaxed. I can hear a few call lights going off, but the caregivers are just sitting down and chatting. It's possible that my perception of Hailey might have changed in the last few hours but for all the good things about Hailey, I don't think she's a great worker.

She sees me and she walks up to me.

"Torrey, how's it going" Hailey says

"I'm doing great Hailey, how are you doing?"

"I didn't get to talk to you after your show but I thought you guys were great, I had such a good time"

"I heard" I instinctively responded, without putting too much thought into those two words.

"You heard?" she says, before she chuckles. I could have stopped but I kept pressing just a little bit.

"Yeah, I heard you hung out with one of the guys in the band after the show"

"Geez, you guys are like a bunch of middle school kids" she laughed "Everyone needs to brag. I felt like a groupie" she said as she laughed some more.

I had to remind myself that Hailey just considers me to be a friend. She doesn't see why it's a big deal to me that she's talking so casually about presumably having sex with one of my best friends. I decided to walk around a little bit. I took Charlie with me and decided to say hi to some of the residents again before I did my little show.

I walked into the big TV room, and once again, Charlie was an instant sensation. They were all happy to see me again, but not as happy as they were to see Charlie. I scanned the room and I noticed that one person was missing.

I walked past Alfred's room and I noticed that his pictures were no longer on the wall and his room had been cleared out.

I went to find Laurie and I asked her "Where's Alfred?"

"Alfred?"

"Yeah, did something happen to him?"

"Oh Yeah Torrey, Alfred passed away last week" she replied nonchalantly.

"Really? How did that happen?" I asked her

"I can't really get into the specifics right now, but you need to understand that this is a nursing home Torrey" she responded, "It's obviously sad at first, but after a while, you get used to it. This is a waiting room, people move in here knowing that they're going to die here"

"But he was young, it didn't seem like there was anything wrong with him"

"He was fine mentally, but there was a lot wrong with him. He lived in a nursing home"

"What was wrong with him?"

"I can't tell you that kind of stuff" she responded.

"Did his family come in to see him?" I asked

"No one came" she replied "His attorney came in, signed a few things, and that was that"

I was so surprised at how casual this whole thing seemed. I understand that Alfred wasn't a great person to the caregivers, but he was a person. How could a life end like that? With no one caring. Laurie is the most caring person that I know, how could she possibly be so numb that the death of someone doesn't have any kind of effect on her.

"How's it going, Sinatra?" said an excited voice behind me. I'm not sure why this whole Sinatra thing is catching on. I don't look, sound or act anything like him.

"I'm doing great Hank, how are you doing? You're looking well"

"Thank you. I'm doing wonderful, we're all excited to hear you sing again" Hank replies. He speaks in a way that suggests he represents the residents at the nursing home.

"Hank, I'll be in Dorothy's room in a couple minutes with her pills" Laurie says to Hank. He acknowledges her, says bye to me, and heads to his wife's room. I feel like this is a good time to bring something up to her.

"Laurie, I wanted to ask you this before, but it never came up" I started "Can I ask you something about Hank and Dorothy?"

"Is it urgent? I'm running behind a little bit" Laurie said

"No, I guess it's not" I replied "I'm going to get ready to set up"

The more time I spend at the nursing home, the more comfortable I feel. I help the caregivers wheel some of the residents into the activity room where I will be playing. I check in on Charlie to see if he needs to be where I can see him, but Cindy assures me that he's alright in the office. There's a couch in there, and Charlie has fallen asleep. As long as no one else is bothered by it, it doesn't bother me.

"Don't start the show yet?" I hear a voice call from the back. It's Hank, and he's wheeling Dorothy into the activity room.

"You got here just in time Hank" I say to him, as I wait for him to take his place in the front row. I ponder about whether there are residents who are unhappy about Hank taking the seat in the front, or the show having to delay of a couple minutes because we were waiting for him.

I realized something. As long as we're inside the walls of this nursing home, Hank can get away with anything.

I'm not going to get into detail about how my performance went. There's really nothing spectacular about what I do when I perform at the nursing home. I sing some popular golden oldie songs, the residents who can respond to it, respond to it, and after 45 minutes to an hour, It's over.

What I will get into detail about was what happened about 30 minutes after I was done with my performance.

I picked up Charlie from the office and started heading towards Laurie when I saw something that made me do a double-take.

"What the hell did you do that for?" I hear Hank yelling at Dorothy. I turn my head towards the room and I notice that Dorothy has spilled her juice all over her shirt. I don't like Hank yelling at her but I can understand that it could be a difficult situation for him. Hank hadn't noticed me yet, but I could see that he was angry. I decided I would walk into the room to talk to him and calm him down until a caregiver could come in to change Dorothy. Before Hank could see me, I see him clench his hand into a fist and throw it at Dorothy's chin.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA" I yell, as I run into the room.

"Why are you yelling?" yells a surprised Hank as he sees me charge into the room.

"I saw what you did, and that's not okay Hank" I shout at him as I grab him and pull him away from Dorothy.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME" Hank screams loud enough to draw attention from people outside the room. Laurie and Cindy run into the room to find out what the commotion is all about.

"What's going on in here?" Cindy asks

"I was trying to change my wife's shirt and then Torrey came in and started grabbing me" Hank responds.

"Cindy, I just saw Hank hit Dorothy, I was just trying to de-escalate the situation" I say

"He's lying" Hank responds. "Throw him out of here, he can't be grabbing people like that"

"Torrey, you need to come with me" Cindy says. I read the room and I fear that I may have started something with the untouchable man of the nursing home. I agree to follow Cindy into the office.

It's time for Laurie's shift to end and I need to drive her to her next job, but I also need to talk to Cindy about what had just transpired in Dorothy's room.

"Cindy, can you talk to Torrey about this later today?" Laurie asks. "We only have one car and we need to get going now"

"I need to talk to Torrey right now Laurie, this can't wait" Cindy responds.

Hailey hears everything and chimes in "Laurie, you can take the car, I can drive Torrey and Charlie home"

Laurie briefly hesitates but finally agrees. Laurie takes the keys and drives to her next job, Hailey clocks out and takes Charlie as they wait in the employee break room for me, and I walk into Cindy's office.

"Torrey, what happened in there?" Cindy asks me.

"Well, I was walking over to tell Laurie that I was ready to go. On my way there, I could hear Hank yelling at Dorothy because she spilled something on her shirt. I walked in to try and calm Hank down, but before he could see me, he punched Dorothy on the chin. I grabbed Hank and pulled him away from Dorothy to keep her safe" I recalled to Cindy

"This can't happen here" Cindy said

"I know. This shouldn't be happening anywhere"

"No Torrey, I mean what you did to Hank."

"What do you mean?" I responded. "I pulled him away because I felt like he needed to calm down and I didn't know if he would hit her again"

"Hank would never do that, Torrey" Cindy firmly responded.

I paused for a second to understand exactly what was going on, and then I finally asked "Are you going to file a report, or even look into it?"

"There's nothing to look into" she quickly responded. "It's your word against his word. We all know and trust Hank, the owners are going to take his word too. I don't have any choice Torrey. I'm going to have to talk to his family about this situation and I'm going to have to tell you that you can't come in here again"

"You're fucking kidding right?" I asked Cindy.

"No I'm not. In fact, you need to leave right now" she said

"Cindy, if you're serious I'm going to report this to state. they'll do their own investigation" I said

"I'm not going to tell you not to do that, but you need to ask yourself if Laurie would want you to do that" Cindy replied.

"What does that mean?" I asked

"I tell the owners everything that happens here and they hate it when state visits" Cindy said "If they find out that Laurie's brother is the reason for a state visit, they may not want her here anymore"

"Are you threatening to fire Laurie if I say anything?"

"No" Cindy responded "I'm just telling you what could happen"

"Maybe I'll be doing Laurie a favor" I said "Maybe, if the choice is made for Laurie, she wouldn't need to quit and come home with bruises on her body"

"There's nothing that goes on in here that would result in bruises on Laurie's body" Cindy said

"What are you going on about? You're full of shit, Cindy. You know the abuse that these nurses take from some of these residents. Andrew can get very combative Cindy, you know that."

"Andrew would never hurt anybody, even in a confused state" Cindy responds

"Cindy, I've seen the bruises that Andrew has given Laurie"

"Laurie should not be talking to you about the residents. That's a violation"

"I'm going home Cindy, are we done?" I asked her after a few minutes of not wanting to be irritated any longer.

"You can't come back here again, Torrey. I don't want us to get a restraining order against you, but I will if I have to" were Cindy's last words to me.

I walked out of the nursing home for the last time. I held Charlie's hand and we walked to Hailey's car.

We were driving home and I felt like I needed to apologize to Hailey for my initial conversation with her earlier in the day.

"I'm sorry for pressing you about what happened after our show" I said to her

"We're all adults here" she laughed "You don't need to apologize"

We drove for a few minutes longer, but Hailey couldn't hold in her long awaited question anymore.

"Are you going to tell me what Cindy said to you in there?" Hailey finally asked.

"She said I can't come back to the nursing home" I responded

"That's ridiculous"

"I know. She said it would be Hank's word against mine and everyone would take Hank's word"

"But everyone knows that Hank hits Dorothy" Hailey casually said.

"What do you mean everyone knows that Hank hits Dorothy?" I asked her

"We've all seen it and we've all talked to Cindy about it" Hailey responded "Laurie's done it too, but Cindy is not going to do anything about it because Hank pays for Dorothy privately"

"What?" I asked

"The nursing home is not making as much money as it should" Hailey started explaining "The state pays for some of the people who live here and they only pay about $3000 a month to do so"

"Only $3000 a month?"

"Yeah, and that $3000 is a month is pretty steady, but there are people who pay privately and they pay a minimum of $6000 a month, and that's only if there's very little wrong with them. The nurses do an assessment on the residents before they move in and if there are more things wrong with them, they need to pay more"

"Wrong with them?"

"I mean if they are a fall risk, they will need to pay extra, If they are in incontinent, they will need to pay extra, if they're combative or confused, if they need to be fed or anything like that, there's going to be more money coming into the nursing home"

"So you guys get paid more if the residents are more difficult to look after?"

"No" Hailey responded laughing. "But more money goes to the facility and to the owners if the residents are more difficult to look after. Dorothy needs to be fed, she is very confused and can't respond to people , she is a fall risk, she's obviously incontinent. I hate to say it but she's basically a cash cow for the nursing home, and with Hank paying privately for all of this, there's no way anyone is going to get away with offending Hank in any way, shape or form"

"That's so disappointing" I said to Hailey. "I really don't like Laurie, or any of you guys working in a place like this"

"That part of it sucks but I'm not so sure that other places are much different. " Hailey responded. "It's really not that bad if you try not to think about the money part of it. Most of the residents here are great company and they need us. It can be very challenging, but there are a few things more rewarding than working with people like this"

"I just don't like the abuse that you guys go through"

"Yeah, but it's part of the job when you work with residents who have dementia, but luckily it's not too bad here when you compare it with some other places"

"Not too bad?" I asked Hailey "I've seen what working here can do you to your body"

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen the bruises all over Laurie's body, they are really, really bad"

"Laurie has bad bruises on her body?" Hailey asked

"Yeah" I responded "Don't you? Almost every time I see her, Andrew has given her a new bruise, and when I tried to talk to Cindy about it, she just dismissed it and said Andrew would never hurt anyone"

"I hate to agree with Cindy but she's right" Hailey responded

"Right about what? That Andrew doesn't hit her?"

"Andrew is not physically able to hit anybody" Hailey said

"Are you sure?" I asked, as I was more and more puzzled by this conversation "Who's giving Laurie these bruises then?" I asked

"Torrey, if ever a caregiver gets hurts while working here, they write a note about it, or they talk about it during the report at shift change. Laurie has never mentioned anything about Andrew or anyone else being harmful to her at work"

Hailey pulled over by the house at that exact moment and I'm glad she did, because I needed to go to my room and figure all of this out. I didn't believe Cindy, but it was easier to believe Hailey when she said that Andrew wasn't laying these bruises on Laurie.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Being a caregiver in a nursing home with combative and confused residents can be a little more dangerous than you think.

But none of that matters to me in this moment. The only thing I know is that someone has been abusive to my sister, and if it's not coming from someone in the nursing home, it's coming from somewhere else.

A Nuclear Family - We Used To Be In Love