Your Health Is Your Wealth: The Stigma of Asking for Help

   By: Emily Balchan

Many students refrain from asking for help because they fear judgment, seek independence, or feel pressure from family, peers, or cultural expectations. However, staying silent often leads to burnout, exhaustion, declines in academic performance, loss of motivation, and poor decision-making. Reaching out, on the other hand, can connect students with supportive teachers and counselors who can help prevent stress from escalating. Also, it can sharpen focus, encourage self-care, and help build courage, resilience, and empathy.

Imagine this: a sophomore is sitting at her desk, staring at her overwhelming homework planner. She’s been struggling in class with math, but has yet to ask for help. Each time she has a thought about reaching out, she feels apprehension about her classmates concluding that she’s “not smart”. This student's stress builds as she procrastinates and loses sleep from not knowing how to manage her schedule.

Stories like this highlight how many students hesitate to ask for help when they need it, which is common in schools.

Section 1: Why Students Hesitate

People learn social cues through personal experience. In a classroom, when no one asks for help, it can make speaking up seem unnatural. However, when asking for help is practiced, it encourages students to feel more comfortable. Perception also plays a role; many people view asking for help as a sign of weakness. In fact, cultural and family expectations hold the power to shape how often a student reaches out for support. Some resist help from teachers or counselors because it may seem like a sign of struggle. A guardian’s relationship with their child can also impact this pressure, either boosting motivation or lessening it. Self-reliance is another key factor; some students compare struggling with personal failure. In certain cultures, seeking help can be seen as having an absence of knowledge, while in others it is seen as a positive choice for allowing discussion. Peer culture also matters: the values and routines students share, leading to a competitive environment where asking for help can seem as if you’re lacking. Social norms can paint out “high achievers” as those who excel without scuffling. Expectations from teachers and parents can support this idea. Students may create unrealistic standards for themselves and focus on completing work independently. 

Section 2: Consequences of Staying Silent

Burnout is caused by unrelieved stress stemming from mental exhaustion. For example, students who attempt to manage heavy workloads alone may experience fatigue. This may cause headaches, restlessness, and a fall off in one’s academic performance. Many students struggle to concentrate in class or retain information, which results in a loss of motivation correlating with doubts about work being “worth it”, having meaning.. Burnout can result in poor decision-making and ineffective study habits. Some students may even turn to substances as a way to cope, using alcohol or drugs. Regarding procrastination, avoiding the problem may begin to feel easier than confronting it for students. Relating failure to shame reinforces a cycle hard to break free from. 

Section 3: Why Reaching Out is Important

It’s important to remember that school counselors are trained professionals to provide guidance and a confidential environment where students can communicate their concerns without humiliation. They hold skills such as empathy, which helps them assist students in processing their thoughts and emotions. Counselors are here to aid students as they steer through obstacles, whether academic or personal,  especially when helping students explore future career paths. Early intervention is key, as it can prevent problems from escalating and lead to healthier outcomes. By addressing the root of the problem, students can obtain a better understanding of their difficulties and learn to gain control over them. Asking for help also demonstrates maturity, as it takes strength to acknowledge one’s control and how to overcome limitations.

How you can reach out:

• Talk to your teacher after class or during their office hours for one-on-one support

• Ask for tutoring from a teacher, peer, or study/homework group

• Use email and online classroom tools to ask questions

• Speak to a trusted staff member or friend about personal struggles

• Ask club advisors or coaches for support

• Remember: be honest, state what help you’re looking for, and remind yourself that this is a strength and not a weakness

Section 4: Positive Outcomes                                                                                                                                                                                                   

   When students reach out for help, the feeling can resemble lifting a weight off their shoulders and a sense of relief. Sharing concerns with teachers or counselors prevents stress buildup and reduces the risk of academic burnout. Less emotional strain can lead to less anxiety, an increase in focus, and effective study habits. Reaching out also promotes self-care by helping students put their well-being first and develop skills to better battle future predicaments. This can ease feelings of loneliness by strengthening bonds with teachers, counselors, and peers, leading to more genuine connections and interactions. A push to normalize the act of struggling shows that difficulties are a natural part of learning and life, not something to be ashamed of. This openness fosters courage, inspires peers, and encourages collaboration. Over time, it can build stronger empathy, compassion, and resilience in students as they learn to control fears of judgment.

Conclusion:

Breaking the stigma around asking for help is essential because it allows students to manage stress, prevent burnout, and improve focus and productivity. Reaching out is a sign of courage and strength; it builds stronger connections with teachers, counselors, and peers while normalizing struggle as a natural part of learning. Taking this first step can remind students that support is available and that asking for help can lead to resilience, genuine relationships, and a more collaborative environment. By supporting one another, the school community can make asking for help the new norm.

Sources Used: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1133706/full 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S088303551730126X