A Series of Paintings about the Fear of Growing Up

When I was younger, I dreamt of how cool it would be to live as an adult. No bedtimes, no homework, and no one telling me what to do – utter freedom. Each birthday was one that I looked forward to, one where I’d say with pride; “I’m a big girl now!” But the further along the line I went, the more I wanted to go back. I recently realized that along with the inevitability of age came pressure, responsibility, and loss. Unfortunately for me, and well, everyone else, that stage in our lives would arrive and never end.

And so the question came naturally: “What’s so great about growing up?” When I look at the adults in my life, I can’t help but wonder whether their lives are any better now than they were before. With this revelation, my self-doubt and anxiety has skyrocketed, bearing in mind that each passing second is one closer to an inconceivable, nightmarish reality. My personal project has presented itself as an opportunity to better grasp the concept of growing up as a whole and to explore its positive aspects among the very obvious negative through a creative medium, all in an attempt to overcome my fears. The goal is to conduct a series of interviews regarding the topic of growing up, then portraying and interpreting my findings in a series of paintings about growing up.

Because the subject of growing up is universally applicable, it doesn’t specify a target audience thus allowing for anyone’s opinions to be taken into account, resulting in a wide variety of responses. This is highly challenging because all my findings, including those from interviews, must then be incorporated and interpreted accurately to convey a clear message in each of the paintings. Furthermore, a series of paintings must be considered a collection rather than individual pieces. To ensure this, it is essential that all aspects ranging from meaning to the overall aesthetic or style remain cohesive. Not to mention the dedicated amount of time, focus, and precision necessary to ensure the best possible outcome.

Global Context

The global context my project engages with is Identities and Relationships, since it explores a fundamental part of personal development. The strand that seemed to perfectly encompass this concept is what it means to be human. The process of growing up requires an exploration of oneself, a growth in which we form our identities and find our purpose. In turn, the progress made throughout will determine how one will interact with society for the remainder of their lives.

Product

By the end of the process, I was left with my product— the triptych I had initially intended, created with the criteria I had in mind, so that it will be the most effective it can be. I had interviewed 50 people, accumulating to a total of 50 perspectives and opinions on growing up with which I created the basis of my artwork. By creating this set of paintings, I was able to directly address the fears and anxieties that hindered me. This process allowed a personal deep dive into the roots of these troubles, and the product is not intended only for myself but for others to relate to and recognize as well. Additionally, I gained a deeper understanding of my global context, Identities and Relationships, in the fundamentals of being human and the inevitability of moving forward. I confided in people’s worries and aspirations about their future selves and the process of getting there.

Reflection

Personal project has given me the amazing opportunity to explore a field that I love and am passionate about. The amount of freedom I was given allows for experimentation and the development of new skills and habits. Before, the pressure of time constraints were my only source of motivation, but PP forced me to build the same if not stronger motivations over a longer period of time. This project encourages constant communication and has helped me reinforce my social skills and create new connections with people all over the globe.

Prior to this project, I was an anxious mess who would shudder at the thought of the future and what it could hold for me. Apparently, many others felt the exact same. But I came to realise that avoiding and evading would not eliminate these struggles. As they say, you can run but you cannot hide. Growing up is an inevitable, fundamental, and beautiful part of life. It is simply another stage in human metamorphosis and there is no point in trying to escape a process of self-development. Rather, the experience allows for the establishment of solid identities. Fears are temporary and can only be overcome when we decide to stop running from them.

IB Learner Reflection

From meeting new people, gathering primary information, and developing visual mediums of great conceptual value, I have strengthened my communicator profile. I may not have been lacking in this skill beforehand but am certain that there has been substantial growth. Through both the interviews and through art, I have been trained to formally speak to a wider demographic and ensure that there is a comprehensible message to be said. Alongside communication is the ability to form ideas and navigate obstacles with the thinker profile. Through deep reflection I was able to identify several difficulties and have solved them with creative, innovative, and critical thinking.

These profiles were all strengthened by a constant acknowledgement and application of the ATL skills, each one serving an important purpose. Social skills, communication skills, and research skills were integral in obtaining the information necessary to begin the project while self-management and thinking skills were keeping it afloat. Overall PP has taught me important lessons, allowing growth and improvement as a person and as a student.