Sonorous Silence

Throughout my life, I have had my fair share of moments hitting my all-time low, moments in which I had hoped I wouldn’t have to see the light of day ever again. Every time it would occur, it would be a whole new story to tell, however, they all had one thing in common; my insecurities. Looking back at it today, it truly amazes me how badly that affected me, it was simply foolish for me to believe in anything anyone said against me, especially now that I realized how the relationship between myself and my physical insecurities alone became severely toxic.

That being said, I keep my thoughts to myself, pushing it down until it’s hidden from everyone but myself, however, I am planning to change that. I want my family, my friends, and especially myself to express how I truly feel with my body, to improve the idea in my head and embrace everything that seems wrong in my eyes.

The environment that I am being brought up in is one that takes discussions on body image, insecurities, and mental health as a whole as a taboo topic. Not to mention that the society that I revolve my life around has created an image of the ideal “beautiful” person. Anyone close to me would know that painting is a passion of mine. That is why my goal for this project is to research on societal standards and its effects on one's insecurities and mental health. Then showcasing that through a series of paintings focusing solely on body image and embracing differences. In my eyes, I paint myself in black and blue, bruised from the inside out, struggling to make it out alive from my own mind. Through this project, I would like to see a change in myself and hope that it won’t only help me embrace my unique beauty, but others who struggle with body image too. I believe this goal would be challenging, given my lack of experience in creating paintings so personal to me. Insecurities are simply something to be embraced not shoved below the surface, no one should be alone when going through body image struggles.

Global Context

I chose to explore the “Identities and Relationships” global context because it suits my goal for my project best. “Identities and Relationships” is a global context that focuses on who we are, the nature of human relationships including families, friends, communities and cultures as well as what it means to be human. It aims to uncover the way society works in damaging a young girl’s mental health. The way society and all of its standards have created a toxic mindset in the minds of teenagers to portray themselves the way people around them would like them to be. This global context surrounds my whole project as my goal is to unravel how and why society is able to affect one’s mental health and gain insecurities regarding their body and yet transform their imperfections into beauty through a series of paintings.

Product

This series is a visual representation or image of the message and main idea of this project which is to showcase the beauty beneath all of the insecurities that one’s mental health affects. Each painting is under the same approach however it will all be telling a story of its own, based on the interviews I organized with a few people. The completion of my product as a result of hard work and determination that was further enhanced by the combination of IB learner profiles taught in school. I was able to convey the message of my project and present the global context of Identities and Relationships in various ways. The different meanings and stories told by each painting piece were able to complete the goal of this project which is meant to showcase the beauty in one’s identity despite a faltered mental health and insecurities, this also shows that I was able to explore the global context thoroughly.

The first painting I made titled “Misguided Perception”, is one that showcases the body of someone who has stretch marks and belly fat. “Wounded Perfection”, the second painting in the series, is one that represents the insecurities of a ‘picture perfect girl’, skinny. Painting three is “Beautiful Catastrophe”, and it’s a visual representation of how insecurities get us to change the way we look using plastic surgery and how mental health needs to bloom to be okay with the way we present ourselves. The last and final painting although made the very last is entitled “Dangerous Perspectives” and it’s the opening piece that really explains this whole series. It’s simple but it’s effective in sending an obvious message.

Reflection

After accomplishing my Personal Project, I truly feel better about myself. The way I see the world, the way I value my body, and the way I understand mental health struggles and body image issues as well. My understanding of the different skills needed to complete a project as time and energy consuming as this has increased by a lot. The way I view, value, and use time as a whole has severely changed and it has taught me so many lessons. This project plays a big role in my realisation that time should be valued so deeply and that it could negatively affect me if I had used it irresponsibly. It has also given me a chance to become aware of my productivity as well as the consequences when I choose not to be productive.

This project has allowed me to become more self-aware in many aspects of my teenage life, the way I perceive my body, the way social media works, the way mental health shapes someone so drastically, the way time can change everything. Through all of the interviews conducted, I’ve learnt that body image is a struggle for most teenagers and no matter how someone fits right under the beauty standard, they still have insecurities and it doesn’t give anyone the right to invalidate them. Mental health is so important, finding the beauty in ourselves is so important but unless we are prepared and we are doing good mentally, it’ll never come to us. Overall, the outcome of this project was able to fulfil its purpose in providing a deeper and meaningful understanding of the global context, “Identities and Relationships” as I have not only discovered a lot about who I am but also connections with other people including the similarities and differences.

IB Learner Reflection

I have improved a lot of skills in my journey of completing this project. The skills and attributes that I have shown the most and consistently in this project are being a risk-taker, a communicator, and a reflective student.

Being a risk-taker to me is someone who isn’t afraid to venture out into new things, to think outside the box, to use their creativity in ways they’ve never used before, to understand and develop new skills without second-guessing too much. I showed this skill in the product, instead of sticking to painting the things I knew I could paint, I tried painting bodies which was something completely unfamiliar to me in the beginning. I experimented with different styles and techniques and yet still managed to make each painting connect with one another.

A communicator is someone who is able to present their ideas in a good manner, someone who can adapt to their surroundings with ease and the way they talk and present themselves as well. I showed this attribute during the interviews I had conducted with people. While communicating with both myself and my interviewees, I had to be someone who’s reflective, who was able to consider personal experiences and take them into account, to make sure that I was presenting my ideas truthfully and painting with more meaning than just my exterior cover.