Growing up, I wasn’t able to speak openly like everyone else. I always felt more distant, which would make me feel depressed. I was depressed about life, and the thing that has been going on in my life is pulling me down. At that moment, I was ready to end my presence. My psychologist told me that I was diagnosed with Major Depression. Since that day, I was informed that I have major depression; I always lack energy. According to my research, the symptoms are upsetting. My sleeping schedule is not right, still feeling down, feeling worthless or guilty every day. It was much worse than I thought it would be.
At that time, the things that dragged me down were terrifying. My confidence was not reasonable, and I was quiet and shy. But I mostly cry about it. I always call every day, even on sad songs that are not that sad. We all have cried in bed, our bathroom, in the cinema, and other places. This started in high school, the beginning of grade 10. Considering my confidence was not satisfied, I had an idea for my project. I want to make this because I have been hiding a lot from everyone, and it was the time to spread it out. I couldn’t hide anymore. My goal for this project was to research about the issues of depression and learn about book design. Then create a book filled with personal stories about my experience managing my depression. The reason why I want to do this is because showing through a book is only the confidence I have and I would like to help other that has the same condition as me.
My life has been medication, psychology, and psychiatrist and repeat. What better way to show the reader through a book. According to my understanding, people study by just books to gain their knowledge about specific topics. Preparing this report has already been improving my self-esteem and energy since day one. I admit, I am not useful in designing or writing skills, but I am more confident in a book than anything else.
The Global Context that my project engages is Identities and Relationship. It shows that as a student, I explore my personal, social, and mental health in human relationships, including my family and friends. It requires to do exploration in the past time and my present self. Learning to communicate and boost my confidence could also help readers too. This could also affect the readers' views that could relate to their personal and social life. It is exploring in the past time for me again. The message of the book could benefit both readers and affect their present self now. It could help the readers who could correlate to these particular experiences that have happened to me.
When it comes to the design of the product and the looks, it has fulfilled my goal. The plan was to make ten copies and try to make this book real and a good book. It is a bit thick and creates the paper's texture like other books that people have seen in the library or bookstore. By visiting the book, it will not look like reading the book is too long. Making the book not too short and not too long will be the explicit aim. The book contains my life. How I handle my problems, how I solve them, How I deal with them, and What I am facing. Essentially, the book's content is pretty much Everything. Everything in the book is all about me. My relationship with everyone I know is all in there.
The design of the product, however, is complicated. I had a hard time figuring out what the cover looks like and the title of the book. I had many ideas for the title, but I could not find the right one. The right one shows the book about me. The title and the cover of the book have to look appealing, and when people see the book, they would be interested and want to read it. People do not know what it looks like because I have not finished it. I do not want to publish it because I do not know how to do that.
When starting my project, I had a 50% chance that I couldn't complete it. It needs advanced language skills, designing, and content. I had second thoughts on making the book. As you can see, I didn't focus at all and did not finish the book. I don't believe that my book didn't answer my goal. It does answer my goal, but not all. I did have a little confidence in telling my depression in a book but not all. There is also procrastination—my best friend. It's always there. I had a lot of challenges in making the book itself and typing the words. I believe that type one word could change everything. I did learn something while doing my project. I know that this is my second hobby, and I am more confident telling people about my life through a book.
The first IB learner profile that I use was Risk-takers. I used this IB learner profile because, As you can see, I took a lot of guts, and it takes a lot of risk on showing people about my life. Telling people about my life is a big step. It could lead to a disaster or positive energy. The next IB learner profile that I use is open-minded. I use that because I need to be open to tell everyone the problems and how I solve them in the book. Without being free, the book wouldn't even make sense at all. The book doesn't contain how I solve my problems. The last IB Learner profile is reflective. I reflect on the past and learn something new from what has happened to me in the past. Even though it is stuck with me until now, I have known something as well.