Ethan's Version of the Neanderdalfian-Wizardian-Toppit Lore

Side Lore: Mid-Earth Redone:

Context: Here is a passage: "Toppits live all over this world. There is also a wide variety of multicolored Neanderdalfs. Their enemy is Poly-ron, who is made of every known polygon. The dwarves have hidden in the mountains because of their shame. (They are ashamed because they all turned into gold and now spend their time trying to steal each other) Smog the Dragon is covered in every color ever conceived. Everyone must constantly dance because if they don't, the earth will swallow them up. In their sleep they have to make snow angels." (Hank Vs A Giant Deer 2, Trivia Edition, 2022, page unknown, nonexistent, haha.) In the beginning there was only one Neanderdalf, and only one Poly-ron. However, suddenly, when struck by lightning at the hands of Sauron, Neanderdalf split into all of the colored Neanderdalfs. Red Neanderdalf had the power of fire, and ran around screaming with sparklers in his hands and forest fires under his feet. Invisible Neanderdalf fled into the air and hid there for a while. Pink Neanderdalf came from the future and found himself a motorcycle the same color as himself at some dealer in Rivendell and now uses it everywhere, wearing a big helmet and boots (both the same color as the motorcycle) as he flies around yelling and never stopping, even to get through doors. He doesn't open them, he just flies through them. Maroon just existed, and didn’t do much, just watching everyone from a watchtower, left as an ancient monument to something made long ago... Then Yellow Neanderdalf had a brilliant idea and went up to Sauron with a lemon and squirted it into his eye. Sauron's (eye) screamed and closed, which ended the war of the ring even before it had begun. The ring then exploded and Gollum was thrown into another universe. When Sauron's great eye folded into an exact line, it became corrupted and exploded, and out of the debris stepped Poly-ron, Sauron's geometrical successor. He unfortunately became a circle and now spends his days aimlessly rolling around and spinning. Later, Blue Neanderdalf decided to paint the landscape. No idea what happened after that, but he ended up painting the sky and began painting the ground, making it blue. Green Neanderdalf stopped him right before all the green Earth was made blue. Hence, the oceans, the seas, the continents, and the islands. Elsewhere, the Toppits decided to invite Toilet Neanderdalf to dinner. He arrived at the table on a large white chair, which on closer inspection turned out to be a toilet. He rolled to the dinner table and the Toppits laid out the food. However, around halfway through, loud noises began coming from the end of the table. Everybody turned and looked at Neanderdalf, and one of them said, “What was that sound?' Toilet Neanderdalf realized that he was being watched and conjured up a privacy screen. The noises then continued, and the meal ground to a halt as the eaters sat, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, a kid said, “Your sound is on.” and Neanderdalf said back, “Oh I'm sorry, I'll mute myself.” Then the sound abruptly cut off. One of the Toppits then asked, “How can you mute yourself? Are you a hologram?” A loud "uh" sounded from the direction of Toilet Neanderdalf. The Toppit continued. “What toilet are you on? Where are you?” More "uh" noises came from the end of the table, and the hologram flickered, for Neanderdalf had thousands of toilets, each identical. Suddenly, the hologram glitched and the privacy screen disappeared, showing Neanderdalf. But he was sitting on an ordinary chair, and from the bathroom down the hall came the sound of flushing. Toilet Neanderdalf ended the call and the hologram disappeared, and the Toppits heard the back door open and close. Green Neanderdalf came out of hiding and witnessed Red Neanderdalf making art by dropping bombs everywhere. He had called the destruction 'craterism,' and is founded by the idea that Earth is two craters inverted and stuck together, and the surface had to be made perfectly flat. Green Neanderdalf, after being told by Yellow and Blue (and being their descendant), now wants to destroy Red Neanderdalf, and as of now, only Orange Neanderdalf and Purple Neanderdalf are willing to talk about him, as Orange and Purple are descended from Red. Purple Neanderdalf does not speak much, as he was the child of Red Neanderdalf and Blue Neanderdalf, and Red Neanderdalf hated Blue Neanderdalf more than Yellow Neanderdalf hated Blue Neanderdalf. Later, Brown Neanderdalf came along, and waged war on the other Colored Neanderdalfs, prompting Yellow, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, Pink, and Maroon to team up. Thus, the 1st Great Neanderdalf War began. After Brown Neanderdalf won from sheer power and forced all of the other colored Neanderdalfs to go into hiding, the Grayscale Neanderdalfs came to help him to become the most powerful Neanderdalf (The Grayscale Neanderdalfs consist of Gray Neanderdalf, Black Neanderdalf, White Neanderdalf, and Shadow Neanderdalf). After that came Rainbow Neanderdalf and Multicolored Neanderdalf, and they attacked Brown Neanderdalf, who was tormenting the other colors. Rainbow Neanderdalf was just wearing rainbow robes, while Multicolored Neanderdalf was literally multicolored. Together they, along with Invisible Neanderdalf, managed to stop Brown's reign of Blandity and what he called True Bleh, and then Shadow Neanderdalf slapped Invisible Neanderdalf in the face because he didn't see him. Somehow, Invisible Neanderdalf was not offended, likely because the hand went right through him. But then... the Lot-Of-Classified-Stuff Toppit appeared with Many-Color Smog, and the 2nd Great Neanderdalf War broke out. The dwarves all got turned into gold by Gold Neanderdalf, who teamed up with Silver Neanderdalf to bring peace to the world. The dwarves started to hide in the mountains and steal each other as trophies, as they now had an attraction to gold, except for that one dwarf who liked silver. Then after Brown Neanderdalf was defeated, the other colors came out of hiding and multiplied, their mutated descendants becoming the Letter Neanderdalfs and Number Neanderdalfs. White and Black Neanderdalf had their power briefly stolen by Red Neanderdalf, creating Pink Neanderdalf and Maroon Neanderdalf, who time-traveled back to the origin of the multi-Neandeverse as the other colored Neanderdalfs mutated. The Letter Neanderdalfs soon ran into a problem: The ABC affair. Unfortunately, A Neanderdalf and C Neanderdalf wanted to be with each other, but B Neanderdalf stood between them. Thus, A and C began to chase B all around Mid-Earth. Then after the Dictionary Affair, in which the Neanderdalfs began to fight with each other over how to properly write a dictionary without cramping the language (which they were themselves cramping by existing), they all vanished. Then somebody wanted to find Rainbow Neanderdalf's pot of gold, and then Rainbow Neanderdalf became invisible to hide it, and only showed himself during the rain as a little man wearing a green suit. Thus, the legend of Lucky the Leprechaun was born! The Number Neanderdalfs were involved in the 789 affair, in which the Number Neanderdalfs began to fight after 8 Neanderdalf was destroyed by 7 Neanderdalf when he tried to stop him from destroying 9 Neanderdalf, and then 7.5 Neanderdalf was made and destroyed instantly due to the law of Who-Knows-What. Then, the Number Neanderdalfs became the Symbol-Neanderdalfs, and the Letter-Neanderdalfs became the Description-Neanderdalfs. (The new Neanderdalfs turned back into the original ones almost immediately.) Shiny and Dull Neanderdalf just... existed. Dull Neanderdalf doesn't speak much and is descended from Gold Neanderdalf and Gray Neanderdalf, who still existed somehow. Also Shiny Neanderdalf seems to have descended from Gray Neanderdalf as well, as it turned out that Rainbow Neanderdalf was experimenting and had taken a little of Gray's DNA (which was a long rope accessible by pressing the Neanderdalfs' hats, one can cut a little off and mass produce Neanderdalfs or mix the ropes to make new types of Neanderdalfians) and had mutated it with Silver's DNA, resulting in Shiny Neanderdalf, an 'illegitimate' child of Gray Neanderdalf. Rainbow Neanderdalf was later scolded by Multicolored Neanderdalf (after all, he made 2 new Neanderdalfs who didn't know the full extent of their powers) and he promised not to do it again. He had later made Weird-Neanderdalf and Hula-Neanderdalf, but Weird Neanderdalf left for an old mountain soon after being made and became Tin-Neanderdalf, and Hula Neanderdalf existed for about five seconds before realizing that hula-hooping did not exist in Mid-Earth and then shortly disappeared, becoming Air-Neanderdalf. Then Gold Neanderdalf tried to paint the sky but he forgot to account for the fact that the Earth spins (Red Neanderdalf set off a large kaboom, making the Earth spin because of the forces in motion) and instead painted only a large circle. Rainbow Neanderdalf was disappointed with the result and summoned Multicolored Neanderdalf to make it cooler for Rainbow's own enjoyment. Hence the Sun was made! White Neanderdalf made the clouds and made them cover the sun in order to spite Rainbow Neanderdalf, but then Blue Neanderdalf decided that he wanted some rain and so thunderstorms came into existence and soaked White Neanderdalf instead. Black Neanderdalf made the thunderclouds when he dropped paint on some clouds. Silver Neanderdalf later made the moon. Yellow Neanderdalf was the origin of lightning. Green Neanderdalf planted and painted the grass with a bucket of paint made after three months, but White Neanderdalf painted the grass white with (nine months to make) paint which he had had left over from him creating the clouds. Time Neanderdalf had disappeared when he accidentally went too far back in time, and Space Neanderdalf disappeared when he tried to go and save Time Neanderdalf. It was at this moment that the “past” was created. (Along with the flow of time and space, and the present and future. However, that naturally made no sense... but oh well, normal for a secret branch multiverse...) Orange Neanderdalf and Purple Neanderdalf collaborated to make oranges and grapes. Large-Ear Neanderdalf started a cult that everyone secretly joined but they all denied themselves joining and fought about it. Thus the 3rd Great Neanderdalf War had started. Then came Existential-Crisis Neanderdalf, who sought to confuse everyone, but confused himself out of existence instead. Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf somehow became the fabric of the universe, PC Neanderdalf became the first computer, and Hacks-Neanderdalf and Scammer Neanderdalf began scamming the silver Elves out of their mansions. (Silver Neanderdalf made the elves silver.) Then men and Goblins appeared. Multicolored Neanderdalf committed a "war crime" when he supposedly made all the humans wear robes and forced the goblins to become rainbow-textured. Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf came, and Smog (who got turned into gold) got taken apart by the golden dwarves and used as house-building parts. Red Neanderdalf was stuck in a mountain for a little bit and tried to blow it up to escape but in the process invented lava. Pi Neanderdalf came and tried to rule the world with his endless philosophies but went mad and destroyed himself. Infinity Neanderdalf came from the endless void and became the Earth because he was so big. Sauron-Neanderdalf came but destroyed himself because half of him hated the other half and vice versa. Forty-Four-Shade Neanderdalf came and tried to free Brown Neanderdalf, but was imprisoned instead by Gray Neanderdalf. Then the Elves and Goblins appeared because Rainbow Neanderdalf had a fight with Tin Neanderdalf. Then the Toppits arrived and began to hunt for Smog, unaware of his fate. (He's now furniture.) Finally everyone became one Neanderdalf again, Neanderdalf the White, the original descendant of Neanderdalf the Grey, somehow, who said that the entire world might be a simulation, but nobody believed him, wrote Remy. The end, wrote anonymous, wrote WROTE. Wrote unknown. Wrote a certain somebody. Wrote the author to the power of infinity. The end of the lore of Mid-Earth. Now to visit Top-Earth and Bot-Earth and see how the beasts and dragons are. They need to be fed! -Wrote Ethan. Wrote me. Wrote the creator.

Suddenly GREAT EVIL SAURON EXE appeared, not Ganon, but also surrounded by particles of evil called madness. All the Neanderdalfs came back fought alongside the men, elves, dwarves, dragons, and goblins against the army of Lot-Of-Classified-Stuff Toppit and Many-Color Smog, along with many villains summoned from the past, such as Sauron, Gollum, and Poly-ron.

Dwarves and men and goblins and elves and beasts and more appeared, and so did the typical average local wildlife, which proliferated. Toppits popped up out of the ground... there was that.

The first enemy of the First Great Neanderdalf War: Brown Neanderdalf, Gray Neanderdalf, Black Neanderdalf, White Neanderdalf, and Shadow Neanderdalf (the latter four would reform, the first is questionable.)

Enemies in the Second Great Neanderdalf War: Lot-Of-Classified-Stuff Toppit, Many-Color Smog.

Third war: Every Neanderdalf fought each other.

(Major Neanderdalfians only) Neanderdalf list: (1/44-43/44):

Color Neanderdalfs: Yellow, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, Pink, Maroon

Greyscale: Brown Neanderdalf, Gray Neanderdalf, Black Neanderdalf, White Neanderdalf, Shadow Neanderdalf

Unknown/anonymous Neanderdalfs: Rainbow Neanderdalf, Multicolored Neanderdalf, Invisible Neanderdalf

Strange Neanderdalfs: Gold Neanderdalf, Silver Neanderdalf, Toilet Neanderdalf

Letter Neanderdalfs: A Neanderdalf, B Neanderdalf, C Neanderdalf

Number Neanderdalfs: 8 Neanderdalf, 7 Neanderdalf, 9 Neanderdalf, 7.5 Neanderdalf (made and destroyed instantly due to the law of Who-Knows-What)

(Number Neanderdalfs became Symbol-Neanderdalfs; Letter-Neanderdalfs became Description-Neanderdalfs. The new Neanderdalfs turned back into the original ones almost immediately.)

Nondescript Neanderdalfs: Shiny Neanderdalf, Dull Neanderdalf

Undescribed Neanderdalfs: Weird Neanderdalf, Tin-Neanderdalf, Hula Neanderdalf, Air-Neanderdalf.

Cult Neanderdalfs: Large-Ear Neanderdalf, Existential-Crisis Neanderdalf, Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf, PC Neanderdalf, Hacks-Neanderdalf, Scammer Neanderdalf

Later Neanderdalfs: Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf, Pi Neanderdalf, Infinity Neanderdalf, Sauron-Neanderdalf, Forty-Four-Shade Neanderdalf

The 44/44 (See, 44-Shade Neanderdalf had a purpose!) Neanderdalf who put an end to all the chaos: Neanderdalf, or Neanderdalf. Next form: SUPER Neanderdalf (also counted as Neanderdalf, somehow)

7.5 got resurrected as 7, 8, and 9 reconciled! A, B, and C stopped fighting in their endless love triangle and did something productive for once. Everyone stared at Toilet. Brown helped! Gold and Silver actually got attention. Everyone fought some evil and then they won! Typical ending. Yellow, Red, Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, Pink, and Maroon made a little village and stayed there. Then, Brown, Gray, Black, White, and Shadow did whatever they normally did. Rainbow, Multicolored, and Invisible went to space for a vacation. Shiny and Dull got mundane sickness and temporarily vanished. Weird, Tin, Hula, and Air had a tea party, but they found out they liked coffee better. Large-Ear, Existential-Crisis, Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf, PC, Hacks, Scammer decided to confuse the others, but only succeeded in confusing each other. Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf-Neanderdalf, Pi, Infinity, Sauron-Neanderdalf, and Forty-Four-Shade... debated why some Neanderdalfs got to have Neanderdalf in their names in this passage. Everyone then turned into Neanderdalf again. The end.

Now for Toppit Lore: The Toppit Lore, a Continuation of the Neanderdalfian Lore

After the defeat of GREAT EVIL SAURON EXE...

Since all the Neanderdalfs became one again, Neanderdalf woke up from his long nap and realized he was still in the pivotal events of the Word of the Bling fan-made multiverse. Then, Brobo, Fildo, and Mas all appeared at the door, they all teleported to the volcano (?), gave the ring to Jollun and lifted him in the air, throwing him into the volcano as well. (...) Without the one ring, Poly-ron fled Middle-Earth, never to be seen again, until, much later on, he returned as a space cloud of evil (happens all the time these days), and SUPER NEANDERDALF (!!!) had to be formed to fight the incoming threat. So that happened. Poly-ron got blown away. Copyright itself suddenly appeared in the multiverse, threatening to “disappear” everything. Ethan was forced to retcon the universe and write a segment where the whole thing became half-Canon and thus, essentially, garbage. Suddenly, however, an idea came to him, and so now the lore is as it is today... Canon.