Peer Conflict or Bullying

Fall 2024 - Peer Conflict or Bullying 

Text on slides from "Fall 2024 - Peer Conflict or Bullying"

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Peer Conflict or Bullying

Presented by Irving Counselors

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Do now - Close your Chromebooks and put away all distracting items

Agenda - Discuss peer conflict issues, Define the differences between types of peer conflict and bullying, What to do about peer conflict and bullying

Objectives - Students will understand the differences between peer conflict, teasing and bullying.  Students will also know the appropriate ways to report conflicts to an adult.

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Peer Conflict - Peer conflict is a mutual disagreement between peers or peer groups.  It occurs occasionally, it is unplanned, and it does not involve violence or result in serious harm.  Those involved in a peer conflict do not seek power or attention.  Often resolved quickly.  

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Teasing - Teasing is not intended to cause harm and ceases when the person being teased becomes upset or objects to the teasing.  Good-natured teasing is a way for people to communicate with each other.  It’s a social exchange.  Careful!  What’s playful to one student may not feel playful to another - leading to hurt feelings.  Teasing is enjoyable for both parties.  When teasing is meant to hurt and is happening over and over again, it can become bullying.  

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Teasing - Many kids tease each other to bond or form relationships.  When the best kid on a basketball team misses a dunk, and a teammate says, “Hey, Lebron, nice shot”, they can both laugh it off.  The teasing shows each other that they can joke around and still be friends.

As long as teasing is not meant to hurt someone, it can be fun and playful.

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Define Bullying - 1. Imbalance of Power - Bullies use their physical, social or emotional power over others.  They feel a sense of entitlement and justification for their actions.  2. Repetitive - Bullying is repeated hurtful or aggressive actions that are used to intentionally frighten or intimidate others who are perceived as weaker or smaller.  3. Aggressive - Aggressive intentional actions that make a student feel unsafe physically, socially and/or emotionally.  

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LPS Anti-Bullying Policy - Lincoln Public Schools provides a physically safe and emotionally secure environment for all students and staff. Positive behaviors (non-violence, cooperation, teamwork, understanding and acceptance of others) are encouraged in the educational program and are required by all staff. Inappropriate behaviors, including but not limited to bullying, intimidation and harassment, must be avoided by students and all staff.  Bullying means any ongoing pattern of physical, verbal or electronic abuse on school grounds, in a vehicle owned, leased or contracted by the school being used for a school purpose by a school employee or designee or at school-sponsored activities or school-sponsored athletic events. Strategies and practices are implemented to reinforce positive behaviors and to discourage and protect others from inappropriate behaviors. - page 35, LPS 2024-2025 Informational Booklet

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Why? - Possible contributing factors to bullying behavior: Gain social power, Have been bullied, Attempt to fit in, Lacking social skills, Issues at home, Control their peers

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Let’s Practice - Discuss the scenarios and decide if the situation is peer conflict, teasing or bullying.  Then brainstorm what the next step would be.

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Scenario 1 - Mia’s friend has started calling her a nickname that she doesn’t like. She’s asked them to stop, but they laugh and tell that they are just trying to be funny and won’t do it again.

Scenario 2 - Josh walks home with his little brother. Everyday on their walk home, some kids from Josh’s class yell hurtful things at him. Josh doesn’t respond to them, but tells his brother that he is scared to tell anyone because everyone likes those kids and they are popular.

Scenario 3 - At recess, Kristy and Amber play four square. They “trash talk” back and forth. When the bell rings to go in, they walk in the building together as friends.

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Scenario 4 - Marco said something rude to Alexis last week. He apologized and Alexis accepted the apology. Since then, Alexis has told all of her friends what Marco said and they have been sending him messages and making threats.

Scenario 5 - At lunch, Cory and his best friend Marty had an argument about a video game. At the end of the day, Cory and Marty were still upset with each other and didn’t talk for the rest of the week. When they finally talked to each other, they decided to put it behind them and move on.

Scenario 6 - Lindsey and Ashley are cousins. They are constantly throwing rude comments at each other and calling each other names. They both always laugh and they never seem mad at each other.

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Scenario 7 - Sasha and Carrie do not get along and their friends have been encouraging them to fight after school. The school counselor hears about this and calls them to her office. They sign a non-aggression/non-harassment agreement and mutually decide to avoid each other and move on.

Scenario 8 - Spencer informed his friend Jake that a mutual friend was making negative comments about him during a video game. Spencer thought Jake would want to know and may be upset about it. Jake told Spencer that it’s ok because they mess with each other all the time while gaming.

Scenario 9 - Javi and Shawn were dating for a few weeks. When they broke up, Javi and friends started spreading a false and hurtful rumor about Shawn and posted it online. Shawn felt too anxious to come to school and started to fail classes.

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Now What - Be assertive.  Don’t just be passive and take it, but you also don’t want to be aggressive.  Being assertive means you’re able to stick up for yourself, but you’re still in control.  Tell the person to stop, and if you’re face-to-face, stay in control of your voice volume.  If it doesn’t stop, ignore the person or walk away.  If it is hurtful, harmful or happens again, report it to a parent or staff member.  

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Assertive - Direct; respectful; considers the needs; wants and rights of others

Aggressive - Negative; disrespectful; only doing what it is in your own best interest; disregarding the rights; needs and feelings of others

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Assertive - Using an appropriate volume and a firm tone, if needed; making appropriate eye contact; speaking openly and giving others time to speak; participating cooperatively; “I’m okay, you’re okay”

Aggressive - Raising voice, telling; glaring and trying to stare people down; interrupting and “talking over” others; trying to control the group; “I’m okay, you’re not”

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How you handle it matters - Speak up, the person may not be aware that the teasing is hurtful and you want it to stop; Ignore, removing your attention and reaction is more likely to make the negative behavior stop; Help others, you make it less likely that others will experience the same negative attention; Reputation, you build a reputation as someone who is not a tattletale, but is responsible enough to seek help with needed

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Reporting is not “snitching” - Getting adult support is a sign of strength, not weakness; asking for help is an essential life skill; could prevent a peer from making bigger mistakes that will get the in more trouble in the future; you are less likely to feel frustrated, depressed or another unpleasant emotion when you get help to solve the problem; be honest, details are important

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Thank you - Thank you for allowing adults to help you with these situations.  We want students to feel empowered while here at Irving.  You are ALL an important part of our community.  

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Do now - Counselor will hand you a sheet - read and sign.  

Objectives, review - Peer conflict or bullying?  Why do people exhibit bullying behavior?  When to report, how? Reporting, not snitching!