NEW ZEALAND COMEDY-SONG is a long standing tradition that has played an important role in helping to define the New Zealand identity. Comedy has helped shape the New Zealand music scene, and music has played an essential role in the development of New Zealand Comedy.
Rather than c1300, our comedy history kicks off during World War I, when New Zealand troops sang a defiant, irreverent song that started with the lines "F--- 'em all, f--- 'em all! The long and the short and the tall ..." They had the officers in mind when they sang those words. The anti-authoritarian mentality, the group sensibility – it's possible that a national identity was forged in moments like those. Over the following 100 years, songs have been unusually important in local comedy. Of course there have been the Conchords and, before them, the Front Lawn. But one of the other fascinating and distinctly local stories is the sheer wealth of parody and Kiwiana records that sprang up in the 1960s. The best example might have been the Howard Morrison Quartet quickly rewriting My Old Man's a Dustmanas My Old Man's an All Black, complete with lyrics that referenced the exclusion of Māori players from an All Black side touring South Africa in 1960: "Fi Fi Fo Fum, there's no Horis in this scrum." They sold 60,000 copies.
A lot of early comedy songs were written by comedians who saw the need to include music in their acts, rather than by actual musicians. Therefore early comedy songs tended not to musically creative; rather artists would take an existing song and simply change the original lyrics for comedic effect.
Famous examples of this style were John Clarke (Fred Dagg), David Mcphail and Jon Gadsby (McPhail and Gadsby), Billy T James, and 'Funny Business'.
A lot of comedy doesn't age particularly well, so some of the early examples seem pretty dated these days, relying on lazy stereotypes to carry the humour (Billy T James), or depend on references that audiences no longer relate to (McPhail and Gadsby). Towards the end of the 1980s and onwards, the comedy becomes more sophisticated and more musically satisfying (Funny Business, Gish)
Fred Dagg is a fictional character from New Zealand created and acted on stage, film and television by satirist John Clarke. Clarke graced New Zealand TV screens as Dagg during the mid to late 1970s, "taking the piss" out of the post-pioneering Kiwi bloke and "blokesses". The sense of dag being also associated with the term dag. The Fred Dagg character is a stereotypical farmer and New Zealand bloke: clad in a black singlet and gumboots, hailing from the isolated rural town of Taihape, and attended by numerous associates (or sons) all named "Trev". One memorable expression was uttered whenever there was a knock at the door: "That'll be the door." When Clarke first unveiled the character of Fred Dagg in recordings and on New Zealand TV in 1975, he became a national star. Clarke also recorded a series of records and cassettes as Dagg, as well as publishing several books.
In 1979, Clarke moved from New Zealand to Australia, where he went on to establish himself as a top script writer and personality. He appeared regularly on Australian television delivering political satire sketches with actor comedian Bryan Dawe until his death in April 2017.[1]
John Clarke may have defined the low-key, dry, modest spirit of New Zealand comedy in the 1970s with Fred Dagg, which was about "a New Zealand attitude or tone or way of understanding the world that was comedic and not jocular", as he put it. But even the phrase "comedic and not jocular" sounds like a dry joke when delivered by Clarke.
To the tune of 'The Work of the Weavers'
(Intro, spoken, with gusto.) 'Righto, kick it in the guts, Trev... '
C G F C
Gumboots, they are wonderful, gumboots, they are swell
F C Dm G7
'coz they keep out the water, and they keep in the smell.
C F C
And when you're sittin' round at home, you can always tell
F C G C
When one of the Trevs has taken off his gumboots.
Chorus:
If it weren't for your gumboots, where would ya be?
You'd be in the hospital or infirmary
'coz you would have a dose of the 'flu, or even pleurisy
If ya didn't have yer feet in yer gumboots.
Now there's rugby boots and racing boots, and boots for drinkin' rum.
But the only boots I'm never without, are the ones that start with "gum".
I've got short ones and long ones, and some up to me belt.
I'm never dressed 'till I've got on me gumboots.
Whenever I sing at the opera, my gumboots are a must.
They help me hit the high notes, and protect me feet from dust.
They keep the water well away, so me voice won't get no rust.
You will not never see me without me gumboots.
Now (names of current unpopular politicians), they haven't made a hit.
They're ruining the country, more than just a bit.
If they keep on how they're going, we'll all be in turd.
So you'd better get yer feet up yer gumboots.
William James Te Wehi Taitoko[1] MBE (17 January 1948 – 7 August 1991) better known by his stage name Billy T. James, was a New Zealand entertainer, comedian, musician and actor. He became a key figure in the development of New Zealand comedy[2] and a household name during his lifetime.
Billy T James could play anything. People who knew James remember him with deep affection and comedian Peter Rowley, a close friend, had plenty of fond stories to tell. Everyone knows that James was a great singer as well as a joke-teller and impressionist, but Rowley explained that James could also play a beautiful tune on any musical instrument you put before him. At a party one night, Rowley spotted an instrument that must surely defeat him. It was a trombone. Rowley thought he had him this time. "But he played this really melodic piece from a trombone," a frustrated Rowley said.
To the tunes of 'We Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas', 'Ten Guitars' and 'Po KareKare Ana'
We wanna wish you a Maori Christmas
We wanna wish you fellas a Maori Christmas
We wanna wish you a Maori Christmas
From the bottom of our hearts
Here we are it’s Christmas Time, my mummy said to me
Santa will leave something real choice underneath the Christmas tree
I thought about a video game, but no that’s not for me
Cos all I really wanted was a really grouse Mark 3
Put it, put it, put it in my choice ma tree
Toyotas, Jags and Mitzies not for me
When. It comes to real grouse cars, we all agree to
Put it, put it, put it in my choice ma tree
When I get it out onto the road, rrrrrr, I really go man
The cops are really cunning, but they. Can’t catch me bro
Cos they’ve got their fancy radar out, and they’re trying to grab me
But I am racing way down here in my pedal car Mark 3…
Jonathan Ernest Gadsby QSM (1 November 1953 – 12 December 2015) was a New Zealand television comedian and writer, most well known for his role in the comedy series McPhail and Gadsby co-starring alongside David McPhail.
A Tauranga party by Winston was formed
And straight up the ladder it went
But after five years, it stripped all its hairs
Now it’s running on just two percent
Despite the dark shades and the pink stripy suits
The figures went hopelessly down
Winston roared with a snort, we’ve lost the support
Of the aged, the ill and the brown
Cos under that sparlies and corridor fights
And threats from Tau Henere to punch out your lights
And strange coalitions that voters resent
They’re crashing first-class to the old 2 percent
They toughed out the problems with bluster and threats
Inside this bizarre coalition
And then the tight five put the nose in a dive
And started a war of attrition
They promised great things for the oldies and iwi
They said they were flush with the money
Then they fought and they fit and they scratched and they bit
Til the party was flushed down the dunny
But still there was fighting and vapid disunity
Fighting and skiting and shades of Muldoonity
Underpants firmly pulled over their heads
They cleverly tore the whole party to shreds
Funny Business (Ian Harcourt, Dean Butler, Willy de Wit and Peter Murphy) emerged out of the Auckland comedy scene in 1985, taking some of their cues from mid-80s UK shows like The Young Ones. An association with producer/director Tony Holden and writer James Griffin led to a series for TVNZ in 1988 which won three TV Awards. A second series made in 1989 screened in 1991. Avoiding topical satire, they specialised in character based skits and music parodies — and hoons, buying lounge suites and mormons on bicycles would never be quite the same again.
To the tune of 'Bad to the Bone' by George Thoroughgood
Got my brothers in back got my brothers in the front, and we're cruising down Fenton street in the hot hot sun
We pull into the KFC, going to get a feed; Pile out of the holden fast coz' we're feeling the need
Five minutes later pigging out full up to my eyes we go back to the parking lot and ow some bugger stole my car
Stole my car, stole my car
Now bro i was real pissed off no one knew just how i feel
So went looking for the wanker who had stolen my cool wheels
We went into the cop shop talked to the police said ahhh
Mister copper bro some bastard stole my car
Stole my car, stole my car
Oh mister policeman (mister policeman) we were in kfc man (in kfc man) and the next time i looked around (looked around) the next time i looked around (the next time i looked around) the next time i looked around someone had thief-ed off with it Jumped into the cop car went for a cruise around
Ow keep your fellas eyes peeled for an HQ Holden coloured brown t
hen just then we saw it it was parked outside the pub, ow mister copper ow there it is, bro that's the one
so we went into the pub and we made some enquiries saw a fella at the bar with my bloody car keys
and i said to the copper fella "there he is" and i smacked him in the head and said ow read him his rights bro coz' he...
Stole my car, stole my car, stole my car Ow ballhead (ow ballhead) ow you shouldn't have done it (you shouldn't have done it) coz' now you are going to jail (going to jail) yes you are going to jail (that's right you're going to jail) yes you are going to jail... and it serves you dumb arse right bro (cheer) yes it serves your arse right.
Justin Hansen, better known as GISH, is one of the most popular comedians on the NZ ProComedy Circuit. With a wicked combination of original and popular song parodies and a healthy toke of comedy for the bro's, GISH is a a favourite headliner throughout New Zealand.
GISH has turned his song writing talents to comedy providing a unique alternative amongst his fellow stand-up comedians; for which he has been a previous Billy T Comedy Award nominee in 2006. He has also featured on "Pulp Comedy" and TV3's comedy special, "AotearoHA".
Some of the early comedy that has best survived the ravages of time are by artists that were primarily musicians rather than actors or comedians. These performers wrote original songs, which contained comedic elements but which stood as songs in their own right. The best known of these groups include The Topp Twins, The Front Lawn and Flight of the Concords.
The Topp Twins have performed as a country music-singing comedy duo since the 1970s. They started singing together and performing when they were children. Busking in Auckland on Queen Street in the 1980s was formative to their dynamic as entertainers with a regular Friday night appearance.[3] They were singing political songs of protest, about for example Māori land rights at Bastion Point and Nuclear Free New Zealand.[4] They have been openly lesbian since the 1970s and were advocates for homosexual law reform.[5]
The Topp Twins developed characters for the banter and audience interaction around their music. As Jools said: "We made ourselves look ridiculous ... we asked them to laugh at us, not to laugh at someone else's misfortune."[3][6] In 2019 arts centre
Flight of the Conchords is a New Zealand comedy duo composed of musicians Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. The duo's comedy and music became the basis of a BBC radio series and then an American television series that aired for two seasons on HBO. They previously referred to themselves as "New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo", but as of 2014 refer to themselves as "the almost award-winning fourth-most-popular folk duo in New Zealand".[1]
Lyrics
I'm the mother flippin' rhymenocerous
My beats are fat
And the birds are on my back
And I'm horny, I'm horny
If you choose to proceed
You will indeed concede
'Cause I hit you with my flow
The wild rhino stampede
I'm not just wild, I'm trained, domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That's how it goes
Here's the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless
Sometimes our rhymes are polite
"Like, thank you for the dinner Ms. Wright
That was very delicious, goodnight"
Sometimes they're obscene
Like a pornographic dream
NC-17 with ladies in a stream of margarine
Hahahahaha yeah, some margarine
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin' off the top of this esophagus
Rockin' this metropolis
I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve
My rhymes and records, they don't get played
Because my records and rhymes, they don't get made
And if you rap like me you don't get paid
And if you roll like me you don't get laid
My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
Yeah, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches and hoes should know
I'm trying to correct this
Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
Why? Why? Why? What?
Why exactly?
What? Why?
Be more constructive
With your feedback, please
Why? Why?
Why? 'Cause I rap about reality
Like me and my grandma drinkin' a cup of tea
There ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey, ho
I'm the motherflippin'
A great article on the early history of New Zealand Comedy Song can be found here:
https://www.audioculture.co.nz/scenes/new-zealand-musical-comedy