Malene Wiinblad

Why Don’t You Say Sorry Mother?

NB:

This is a poem directed to my biological mom, the meaning behind it is that she told me once that she doesn’t want a slut daughter even though I hadn't done anything or acted in a certain way that could be represented for being a slut and called me a slut, she never said sorry by calling me a slut multiple times, so I wrote this poem to demonstrate my pain that I have been carrying on my shoulders for months.

You say I make you proud mother

If I make you proud why don’t you say sorry

Do you ever think of embracing me with all this pain that I carry?

Once I was your precious little daughter, but now you treat me as if I was a fallen woman

Finding myself shattered on the floor like a broken glass.

Why mother! Why?

Why don’t you just say sorry?

Saying sorry won’t make you smaller

You tell me to say sorry, why mother! Why?

Don’t you see that you are tearing me into pieces?

The feeling of misery that is growing internally is unbearable

I’m in pain and there is no shoulder to cry on

Why mother! Why?

Don’t you see that you are creating a monster in me?

You act as nothing happened

Words are just words you say, mother

Memories flash by with a wave of emotions

The memory of you saying those hurtful words stabbed me and left an open wound

Words unable to come out of my mouth

Because of the fear of just telling me that I’m just a deception.

Why Mother! Why?

Why don’t you just say sorry?

Why don’t you answer?

Is my voice that silent?

I scream my lungs out and you just deteriorate me

I find myself in a room with no lights

I look around, I don’t see any prosperity that I will ever get out of this misery

I have so many questions but my fear takes over

You Say I’m a slut

I ask you why? no answer

Why mother! Why?