Anonymous

Inside Me

I hide myself in a shell

Worried that if I were to open up, people would see a different me

Worried that if I show my true emotions people will push me away

Worried that people will treat me differently

Because I am nervous to let others see inside me

The words inside of my head are running at the speed of light

But it seems like the words that come out are stopped at a red

Help me find a way to piece my thoughts together

People ask me what’s on my mind

How do I explain to them that it is all a hodgepodge of hurtful remarks

that I hold on to habitually

How do I explain to them that those words are a dagger in my heart

And that those wounds can never be healed

My brain throws out words that I take offense at myself.

How can I let you know that that wasn’t me

My thoughts don’t always reflect who I am

Because I seem to be looking at a magic mirror

The words that come out might be what you want to hear but not the truth or

They might be the truth but not what you want to hear

I’m smiling on the outside, but on the inside I’m crying

I am a good girl

I smile at people I pass,

I say please and thank you

I am happy, optimistic and bright

I wear a shining suit of silver armor, to shield me from spiteful statements.

No one can get through because I know my worth

I keep on my mask to help keep others safe

We can overcome this trial if we work together

I stay silent to let others speak their mind

Because I know that everyone’s voice needs to be heard

That is what they think

That is what I wish to be

But inside

I wish to break free from what is defined as good

I smile to cover up my sorrowful grin

I thank people for helping me stay on this rock and plead for them to let me go

I am miserable, negative and dark

I enclose myself in concrete walls to barricade others from coming in

No one can make fun of me if I stay in my safe place

“I keep collections of masks upon my wall

To try to hide myself from revealing it all”

I stay silent because I am afraid others don’t want to hear me

Why would anyone listen to an adolescent little girl

who can’t make up her own mind

Maybe if I open up

Let others see inside of me66

Would they be able to see what I don’t see

Could they help me out of my shell

Out of the box that encloses me

Then could I help others to find their true feelings and thoughts

because

Everyone has true emotions and it’s not just inside me