“Your parents need daily care, not a grand funeral.”

A story of Local Response from Katabi community, Uganda by Meble

"Your parents need daily care, not a grand funeral."

During a home visit in Katabi as we visited Richard a 74 year widower, we shared conversations and explored questions with each other. One of the shared question was what is the main thing that older people need? and Cozi who is the chair and was part of the visit reflected that, older people need care, love and and comfort. She added that everything else is necessary but these three are essential. The need for physical care and presence of others around them makes a difference.

On the same day during a plenary discussion, one of our team-mates Fisher from Botswana had reflected that young people of this generation are not interested in the daily lives of their aging parents. Their expression of love and care is only visible during the burial because they want to impress their friends. But aging parents need daily care: it is important to them to be given attention. They need people around them; they need to feel loved and comfortable. Young people should call, visit and be interested in the lives and experiences of their aging parents, even if it’s a conversation of how they prepared their morning tea or walked to the park, or planted their beans.

The process of taking care of aging parents teaches you a lot about life. You learn from their experiences, you learn the process of aging, the challenges associated with aging and at the same time creating a stronger generational bond and lessons that are transferable. You give meaning to your parents but also become a bridge for future generations.

This is what I have learnt that when you invest in caring, loving, talking and supporting the daily normal life of your aging parents, then this process gives you a chance to prepare for your own aging journey. In turn, you will help your children to adopt similar attitudes to their own parents.