Sharing the burden of grief

A story of Local Response from Kitubulu community, Uganda by Rafique

Sharing the burden of grief

Ramla and her husband were born in Nebbe, in northern Uganda, but both grew up in the village of Kitubulu. He worked in the fire brigade. Ramla worked in the airport managing a small restaurant. They had nine children, of which four passed away, and five are alive. The youngest is around twenty years old, and the eldest works as a prison warden and is the father of two girls. The second child is a daughter who is married. And her third child is a son who is working in eastern Uganda.

A turning point in her life was when her husband died on 1 December 2016 and her daughter died 4 days later. For, after her retirement, along with her husband she used to make samosas, sesame rolls, and other snacks that she used to sell in the airport restaurant. Moreover, after retirement she became one of the founders of the Association for Elderly Persons in Kitubulu village. The learning, sharing, and companionship she enjoyed in the group made her happy.

The group collected savings from the women and invested in a small business that brought back some profit for the members. Thus one of the benefits of the group besides the companionship is that they were able to meet other family members’ needs by borrowing from the group. For example the wall of her house collapsed in the recent floods and she is using the group funds to rebuild it.

Similarly, to fight depression also the members go to the group. When there is any set back the group members visit the family. Also from the group, she gained knowledge of gardening and this allowed her to make a fruit and vegetable garden in front of her house. From other members she perfected her skill of making mats. Another benefit is the group has a device to measure her blood pressure and she is able to monitor her blood pressure regularly.

Most of all, the members of the group are close and support each other. Thus, when both her husband and daughter passed away, and once she was back from the hospital where she was treated for depression and high blood pressure, it was her friends who by their visits to her house and the moral support made her cope with the double deaths. Subsequently, her blood pressure became normal, and the depression went away. With the help of the group members she was once again a happy old person.

She has learned that the group will progress only if they continue to work together. Moreover, with the help of the group, families will improve their health. With the collective knowledge in the group helps the members to implement in their homes measures to improve sanitation, like tip-tap and toilet cover, those for food and nutrition like kitchen gardens, making briquettes for recycling waste, and for cleanliness making a drying rack.

Not only is the transfer of knowledge to the members of the group, but also to the younger generation, as the group works with younger people, who will eventually become members and take over.

Finally, the group emphasises that individuals have to learn to avoid begging and learn to work for themselves. This has boosted not only their morale and confidence, but also the honour and dignity with which members see themselves.

One thing that changed Ramla was knowing that the group is there for her and that there are people ready to give her psycho-social support. Ramla is proud that she belongs to the group: when she is out away and cannot get back for a group meeting in time she is sure to miss the new knowledge and learning.

When the community shared the grief of Ramla, she coped with the tragedy of the death of her husband and daughter.