Three women, one life

A story of Local Response from Kabaale community, Uganda by Kausar

Three women, one life

This is a story of three women. All from the same country, all started their life in different parts of the country and they all landed in the same village when they became elders. On the way to the village one woman lost all her seven children to HIV-AIDS and also lost 4 grandchildren. Another woman lost 2 of her 6-children. Two women had left their husbands and the husband of one died. One had left her children with her husband when she discovered he had taken 8 wives. Later 2 of her children established contact and now she is taking care of their children. The children are orphans.

They have had varied childhood. One of them had a happy childhood. Until she was 14 she lived with her parents and loved them. She said of her happy period in her married life that it was like the love for her parents. She had married in a proper way. It was a proper marriage. But her marriage also turned sour and she left her husband and took her children with her. Another woman said, “I was 2 years old when my mother left us and at 4 I became aware that I was living with my grandmother. My aunt also supported me.”

The case of the third woman was different. She had a stepmother and her life was harsh. She was 14 when she got married. The husband rescued her. She had a child every year, then her marriage broke and she had to fend for herself. She went to live with her brother and then she left because he was married and had his own family.

All three women had taken care of their children, their husbands and then left to fend for themselves. They worked on the land, they cleaned homes, and set up stalls to sell various goods. They also got some support from other sources: for example, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends. But all three of them ended looking after their grandchildren and great grandchildren.

It is very painful to give birth, to take care of children, to see them through schools, to see them grow and then see them die! Two years ago my last child died. I took him to the hospital and I thought he had improved. The doctor said to take him home. I brought him home and he soon died here in my arms. The doctor did not tell me he was not going to live.

They are all now part of a group of elders that had been formed by the women of their village. They attend the weekly meetings, they learn various trades, and they have become part of the saving group. Their long journey though deaths and hardships was now behind them.

When you recognize and appreciate the life of others, you strengthen them.