When we get together, inner healing takes place

On Tuesday we were privileged to meet the ladies that make up her group. Most of them were not only widows, but had lost several, in one case, all of their children and four grandchildren to AIDS. Many of them are now fending for themselves while also taking care of their grandchildren.

Although the group is made up primarily of Older Persons, we also heard that younger women often join them. Their motivation is to both learn how to grow old herself gracefully and to learn how to take care of their ageing parents. One younger group member related how she had grown up with her grandmother, and now she has more grandmothers. Noeremi, a young grandmother of 42, said laughingly: “We will all get there soon enough”, rocking Simone, her grandson.

We also heard that the ladies’ younger family members now recognize the benefits of their elders going to the meeting, so much so that they remind them on the day itself of that very important meeting, and sometimes they even come along. Actually, the reminder is really not necessary, as in the words of Anunciata, “our Wednesday meetings are the highlights of the week and we would not miss them for anything.”

When asked what makes their meetings so meaningful, they answered that it is because that’s where they make friends, exchange experiences, confide in each other, teach other new skills and above all, laugh a lot. What makes them feel alive is that not only they can take care of themselves, but the group also allows them to take care of others, such as advocating for other elderly people who have special needs, for example a sitting toilet, getting mattresses for bed-ridden people, or encouraging themselves to advocate for themselves.

The one activity that seems to be of the most tangible value is the “cash round” project. This age-old practice, calls for every member of the group to contribute 10,000 shillings weekly to a common pot. The total amount is then given to two members of the group, based on a simple lottery. This strategy is single-handedly responsible for empowering the individual members to use the money to either fill their urgent financial needs or infuse a business idea with the life blood to flourish. One example was Yessoufou, who is weaving the beautiful sisal mats we were sitting on and selling them. She is also making banana juice, which is actually her core business. Another was Margaret I, who had the idea of making banana pancakes, the profit of which allows her to pay for her grandchildren’s tuition (her only child had died and left her with 6 grandchildren).