The Thought
The Thought
by Joyce Dobisch
written for the 2012 Invitational ELL Summer Institute
A young child sits alone
and stares out a window.
Her mind does not register
the sound of the rain
as it strikes the glass
in front of her.
A thought
slowly resonates in her head
and plays over and over again
like a melody
that will not go away.
The heaviness of the thought
presses against her
with a paralyzing weight.
She gropes
for any string of hope
that she could be mistaken,
but knows she is not
and grudgingly surrenders
to the thought.
She tries to hold the thought at bay
but it will not be contained
and slowly escapes from her mouth
as she finds herself
whispering the words:
I AM DIFFERENT.
The spoken words jolt her
into a frightening sense of reality.
Her heart races
as an overwhelming panic
takes over and starts
to consume her.
Because instinctively she knows
that being different
is not good.
She doesn’t think
she has always been different
and her mind searches for reassurance,
but only finds fleeting memories
muted by the passage of time.
Like a distant spark in the darkness,
a glimmer of hope
surfaces at the possibility
of a solution
to this problem.
But she fears
there is no remedy
for a problem
she has brought on herself.
This is her punishment.
She looks up to the heavens
and pleads for understanding
but there is no response
no answers
no cure.
What she clearly understands
is this:
she is not as good
not as deserving
and not as loved
simply because
she is different.
Joyce Dobsich has been teaching in the School District of Philadelphia for six years. She currently teaches second grade at Solis-Cohen Elementary School. Joyce attended the 2012 Invitational ELL Summer Institute sponsored by the Philadelphia Writing Project.