Concede Ye Men! No Conceit! Amen!!!

(an almost true story) – Dr. Sathya Prasad M

28 December 2018. 11:23 AM

I got trapped! My son was having his breakfast and I was just about to perform my morning prayers. I could see that my wife had made some payasam, which my son was in no mood to take (and I don’t blame him).

Wife (stern): “You must eat that.”

Son (nonchalant): “I shall have it after coming back from school.”

Me (patronizing): “Son, payasam is best taken hot. Kheer can be taken cold. Mom has made it so early in the morning. It is pooja time and mom has taken so much pains to prepare it so early in the morning. Please have it.”

Wife (gives me a stone-cold stare): …

Me (wondering, “…did I say something wrong???”): … “It is payasam right? Looks like payasam… or is it some kind of Pongal or pudding? We need to constitute a fact-finding mission.” (I was not at all sarcastic).

Me (was about to start my prayers)

Wife (coldly to me): “Do you know what day it is today?”

Me (proudly): “Thursday”. I got that right after all! Not very often are men so correct!

Wife (staring): “What is special about today?”

Me (after a few seconds of intense cogitation): “Tomorrow is Friday, then two days of rest – weekend. Weekends are so delightful. So, what are your plans for the weekend?”

Wife (like she would burn me down…): “Think. Today is special.”

Me (innocently): “Your birthday?”

Wife (seething; piercing me with her look): “No!”

Me (desperately): “Your mother’s? Brother’s?”

Wife (looking at me like – ‘what an idiot I have married!’): “It is our wedding anniversary!”

Me (with a show of ecstasy): “Oh! Congratulations!” Frantically trying to make up – “you still look just the same as the day I first saw you.”

Wife (still the cold stare): “Should I take that as a compliment?”

Me (trying to change the subject): “You dress looks good. Where did you buy it? Suits you fine!”

Wife (she has now almost given up): “You bought it for me during our trip to Orissa two months ago.”

Me (trying to save my skin): “Yes, I was wondering. Looks familiar. Have never seen you wearing it. Did you preserve it for this great day? Looks great on you. You should wear it more often.”

Wife (vexed): “Excuse me! Only two weeks ago I wore the same dress for your company’s annual day celebrations.”

Me (looking like a fool): “Is it! Still it looks like new. You maintain things so well.”

Wife (scorching): “Does that include you as well?”

Me (pleading): “Can I have some payasam?”

Wife (seething): “I should pour it on your head”

Me (matter-of-fact): “It looks too tacky and viscous. The adhesiveness of your payasam would resist gravity!”

Wife (giving-up): “Talking to you is a waste of my time”

I still received my share of her tasty payasam! Very kind of her indeed!!!

Men! We are no match!!!

Om. Anna Poorney! Sadaa Poorney! Shankara Prana vallabhe! Gnyana, Vyragya siddyartham; bikshaan deheecha Paarvathi.

“Oh mother! Please bless me with knowledge and self-regulation.”

Women – you are worthy of our reverence and worship.