Embedded Files
by Riley Ferguson
Within this world ravaged by disease, there is a silent epidemic spreading under the roofs of homes across the country. Due to the lockdowns, quarantines, and increased amount of time spent inside one's own home alongside their partner, dating abuse rates have skyrocketed alongside Covid-19 case numbers. Dating abuse is defined as not only physical violence but also emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial aggression in relationships.
However, to an inexperienced eye, it may appear as if the opposite has occurred when met with the statistic of “50% fewer calls being made to hotlines in the United States” says Seton Hall Law. This is representative not of violence suddenly disappearing during these stressful times but instead, an increase of fear and a decrease of safety outlets for victims of abuse. Examples of these outlets include safe houses for victims of abuse which were closed for a significant amount of time alongside courthouses during the start of the pandemic, many of which are now only open at half capacity or still closed. In New Jersey, many victims have found the courage to fight back against their partners, with a rise of restraining orders being issued in the state as well as an "18% increase in domestic violence calls from April 2020 compared to April 2019" says PR News Wire. It has been cited by sociologist and author Mardi Chadwick Balcom that domestic violence tends to spike when families or couples spend time alone or secluded from friends, such as during vacations. With the added stress of job loss, financial stress, and many more mental consequences that come with being cut off from human interaction, it is far from surprising to see that this perfect storm is potentially deadly. Abusers can now constantly keep tabs on their partners, isolate themselves without friends and family noticing, and live without fear of their physical violence being noticed by their peers in the form of bruises.
These statistics are based primarily on adult relationships; however, it is not to be overlooked that Teen Dating Violence or TDV has also seen a shocking increase during these times. With schools at low capacity, teenagers being quarantined, and many aspects of the average teenage experience being off-limits, such as hanging out with groups of friends, it would seem that TDV would decrease significantly. Sadly, due to teenagers having a second existence online, TDV has continued and grown. Calls to TDV hotlines have increased the most- 101% since the start of the pandemic as cited by popular hotline LoveIsRespect. 1 in 3 young people will experience digital abuse in their lifetime, an unheard-of form of abuse for older generations due to the rapid growth of social media and the internet in general within the last decade
Digital abuse actions are seen as the following:
● Logging into or using a partners account without permission
● Unwanted sexual images, messages, etc.
● Monitoring messages
● Spreading online rumors
● Creating fake profiles of an individual
● Using GPS locator features to stalk
● Threatening a partner over the phone, text, etc
“It’s terrifying,” said one Hackettstown student who has requested to stay anonymous. “Just when you feel like you can escape the nasty things this person is saying or doing to you when you block them, they make another account. They make a dozen accounts. Sometimes you don’t know who they are, and other worse times… they’re the person you thought you loved.”
Q: Did you know something was wrong immediately when they started logging into your account or checking your phone without permission?
A: Not completely. It felt like an invasion of course and when I tried to communicate that, it became worse. They called me crazy and told me they were looking out for me, that’s how it started.
Q: Did you ever consider leaving first when things went south?
A: I didn’t think I could, honestly. I started to believe they were the only person who loved me, that they would ruin my reputation by spreading rumors about me if I left. I knew they were talking to other people and sending inappropriate messages but I was too invested to leave.
Q: How do you feel now that this individual is out of your life completely? Have you spoken with a hotline or therapist?
A: It’s a mix of anxiety and freedom. I feel like myself again but there’s a hint of fear, you know? I have spoken with a couple of hotlines to vent and they really do help, I would definitely recommend them.
It is vital to recognize that true love does not come at the expense of one partner, that one can not truly have a balanced and healthy relationship with one party keeping tabs or holding violence or blackmail over the head of the other.
If you or someone you know is experiencing TDV or general dating abuse, please reach out to one of the following free websites/hotlines for help. Together, we can make the world a healthier place for love.
text: LOVEIS to 22522
call: 1.866.331.9474
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
call: 1.800.799.SAFE
Google Sites
Report abuse