Emerging adulthood (ages 18-25) is an important time for young adults to develop effective communication and conflict management skills they will need to sustain stable relationships in the future. There is an extensive literature on conflict management in emerging adults’ committed romantic relationships. However, today’s emerging adults no longer reliably engage in traditional dating relationships; rather, up to 70% engage in “non-relationships” that are casual and ambiguously defined (e.g., “talking,” “unofficial relationships,” or “friends with benefits”). Without a clear commitment or social norms to guide partners’ behaviors, they might find it difficult to address conflict directly and effectively.

We explored this understudied area by conducting focus groups with 45 emerging adults about how they handle conflict in non-relationships. In addition, we collected data on key components of communication competence: willingness to communicate and perceived efficacy.

Findings

• Emerging adults rarely engaged in constructive discussions about problems in non-relationships because of the lack of clarity regarding commitment, absence of relationship rules, and fears of violating social norms that discourage expressions of investment.
• Ratings of communication competence were low; most participants said that they were unlikely to raise their concerns and considered themselves unprepared to effectively manage conflict in non-relationships.

Results underscore the possibility that the increasingly ambiguous nature of young adult relationships may interfere with the development of healthy conflict management skills.