i'm no good on my own anymore

Summary: Goldie tries to get Scrooge's attention once again.

Word count: 2600

Warnings: None

2019; Florida & Duckburg

Embarrassing.

That was the only word that could properly describe how Goldie felt when she woke up in a weird metal box, stacked on top of other prisoners in other boxes like they were collectible items.

She was well-known in the world of adventurers as someone difficult to take down. Other adventurers feared her! When they heard her name, they’d run for the hills!

(Okay maybe that wasn't quite right, but she had some kind of reputation for being tough!)

So how could she have fallen for Heron’s trap so easily? Was she losing her edge? Was her advanced age getting to her? Maybe that dip in the Florida youth pool left her older than she was before. Because that nonsense shouldn’t have worked on her. And yet, here she stood - in the dark, in despair, completely dispirited. She didn’t know what was going on, but she knew Scrooge was at the center of it.

Scrooge would be fine. Mostly Goldie hoped that Sharpie was alright, though. He was a sensitive kid and based on the number of other prisoners around her, Goldie had a feeling that something really big was happening.

After all, it wasn't often that she was targeted by Scrooge's enemies (unless they were also her's). And sure, she didn't like Black Heron and they'd fought in the past, but Goldie had never considered them enemies. She barely knew anything about the woman aside from being insane and wanting to rule the world. So generic.

Being generic didn't make her less terrifying, though. Goldie wasn't going to move past the shame of how she was kidnapped for a very long time. Thank God no one else knew about it.

---

Goldie hadn't heard from Scrooge. It'd been four weeks since their adventure in Florida and she thought he might call her or reach out in some way or another, but instead she was stuck staring at her phone like a child.

Sharpie still managed to text her every once in a while, so Goldie knew Scrooge wasn't insanely busy. He must've just been too busy for her.

It was extremely agitating. She'd thought they made some significant progress. They did! They talked about things that should've been talked about decades ago. And yet…he was blowing her off once again.

It was reminiscent of just a year earlier when she left him the invitation to come to Yucatán with her. He never said anything about it, not even when they saw each other again.

Goldie sighed and tapped her fingers against the counter. She wanted to get his attention. Piss him off like she always loved to do.

Normally, she'd just go to Duckburg and steal something from the Money Bin or the Other Bin, but he wasn’t spending much time at home lately, from what Louie had told her. They were constantly traveling. So she’d just have to give him a call and announce her latest caper.

Which would be…well, the fountain, of course! They’d specifically agreed to leave it where it was, so why wouldn’t she steal it? It could go on display at her Blackjack, after all. Maybe she’d fill it with the liquid gold from White Agony Plains. Even through his anger, he’d have to admit that her showmanship was unmatched.

So Goldie rushed back to Florida. It was like the opposite of Dawson - so many people, so fucking hot - but she liked it. And she didn’t mind wandering the relatively empty hotel-owned swamp. She supposed it made sense that once Spring Break was over, there’d be less people at the hotel. Also the teenagers from before probably warned everyone about the youth-sucking waters…if they were even paying attention. Most of them seemed so drunk and high that Goldie wondered if they had any idea at all what they’d been through.

She wandered very casually through the trees. Her spatial memory was excellent after so many years of adventuring so she knew exactly where to go. The cropping of trees that hid the fountain was familiar as if she’d been there only yesterday, and Goldie waltzed through the brush to find……..

…nothing.

Well, remnants of something. An empty area where a fountain used to be. It was distinct, she could see the imprints in the ground where the fountain once was.

The little hamster wheel in her head started turning faster as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on. There were only tiny splashes of water left in that fountain, certainly not enough to age or de-age someone in any significant way. So Rockerduck had no reason to take it. And unless he suddenly had friends, the only other people who knew about it were herself and Scrooge.

It was a bit presumptuous of her to assume, but this wouldn’t be the first time Scrooge had taken something in anticipation of her taking it first. Didn’t make it any less annoying.

She took out her cell phone and dialed his number aggressively. Sure, she’d planned on taking the fountain herself. But he seemed pretty adamant about them leaving it there! Where was his patented McDuck Integrity?

After an angry voicemail left on Scrooge’s phone (because of course he didn’t answer) and an interrogative text sent to Louie, Goldie started back towards the hotel. What else could she do?

She walked for a few minutes when her phone buzzed. She found a message from an unknown number and stopped in her tracks, only a half mile away from the hotel.

Goldie. I got a new phone. Can I see you?

Goldie glared at the message. She could only assume it was from Scrooge, but what impressive timing. She left him a voicemail on his old phone and he immediately sent her a message on the new one?

Against her better judgment, Goldie responded.

Where?

She only waited a few seconds before his response.

I’m at the hotel. I knew you’d come for the fountain.

Goldie hummed and continued walking towards the hotel. She was annoyed at his actions, but…really excited that he came to Florida again to see her. Did he have something planned? Was he going to ask her to help him and his family in their latest adventure? Or was he just in the area and thought it’d be fun to spend some quality time together?

She wasn’t complaining about any option. It was just nice for him to reach out to her for once.

As she entered the hotel grounds, Goldie looked around carefully in the hopes that she could spot him before he found her. She always enjoyed the look on his face when he was surprised.

But it was quiet and empty, and Goldie didn’t want to go searching.

Where at the hotel?

Once again, he only took a few seconds to answer.

Around front.

Goldie walked around the building to find a black van sitting alone in the parking lot. She wondered what Scrooge needed a van for. It was kind of an odd choice for an adventurer, though maybe it wasn’t an odd choice for Florida.

“Scrooge?” she called out as she walked closer to the van.

The back door of the van started to wiggle and she smiled, walking all the way up. “What’re you up to, sourdough?”

As the door opened, Goldie had less than a second to register Black Heron’s malicious grin as a bomb exploded in Goldie’s face - sending her flying backwards and filling her lungs with a cloud of green smoke.

She was still slightly conscious as her body was dragged into the back of the van, but Goldie lost all sensation by the time the doors closed again.

---

She should’ve known better than to fall for the old Fake New Phone trick. If that was even a standard trick, she couldn’t keep track of what evil annoying people were doing these days. All she knew is that she should’ve known better and it was embarrassing to think back to that stupid, stupid moment.

In all her self-loathing and anger, Goldie almost missed the sound of the pod containment thing next to her opening up and someone being thrown inside. She frowned and walked over to the window, hoping it was someone she knew or at least someone who she could work with to escape. She’d already gone over everything herself and there was definitely something scientific and magical combined to make her cage unescapable.

(Also she hadn’t eaten or slept in days and wasn’t hungry or tired, so she had a feeling she was in some sort of time stasis. Was she even aging?)

As her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw the familiar figure of Santa Claus rubbing his head and groaning at the pain of being thrown so harshly.

Great. Not only did she get a man who was useless, but he was also a complete bore when it came to conversation. She wouldn’t even be able to enjoy talking to someone. Fantastic! How much longer would she be trapped in a box next to the world’s most dull immortal?

Before she could back away from her little window, Santa looked up and they made eye contact. She stepped back, but it was too late - the damage was done.

She heard an awkward throat clearing. “Um…Miss O’Gilt? Is that you?”

Goldie rolled her eyes. She’d only met Santa twice and she didn’t enjoy either time. “Yep.”

“Where are we?”

“Do you think I know the answer to that?”

She heard him shuffle around, probably to find a more comfortable seating position. “Of course, my apologies. Have you…heard or been told anything about why we were taken? I can only assume it’s related to Scrooge.”

“No kidding,” she said quietly. “I’ve got nothing for you, Claus. But if some villain is going out of their way to make sure people like you and me aren’t around, it can’t be good for Scroogey. They’re probably going after his family, too.”

“O-oh, dear…that sounds terrible! Is there…do you think there’s anything we can do to help?”

Goldie rolled her eyes and knocked her knuckles against the wall. “How do you expect to help from in here? Gonna write a strongly worded letter?”

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I just want to help him.”

“Of course you do.” Goldie picked at some of the feathers on her fingers. “I don’t think he’d want your help, either way.”

Santa pouted. “We actually made up this past Christmas, I’ll have you know. He certainly doesn’t hate me anymore.”

“Is that so?” Goldie was surprised to hear that, though not surprised that Scrooge didn’t tell her. It wasn’t exactly relevant to her, considering the only times she’d interacted with Santa were times that he was trying to get in touch with Scrooge and ran into her instead. She had a long history of stalking and obsessing over Scrooge, but Mr. Christmas was so much worse, in her opinion. Scrooge set up death traps around his house to send a message and the guy still couldn’t take a hint. But, well, it sounded like things worked out for them in the end. Hip, hip, hooray? “Congrats.”

“Hmm. Forgive me for saying so, but you sound less than sincere.”

“What do you want from me? A medal?”

A brief silence again, followed by, “No.”

They fell into an extremely awkward silence, staring at the walls of their individual cells. Goldie wondered if their captors - Black Heron and whoever the hell she was working with - knew that putting her next to Santa would be its own kind of torture. Hopefully whoever ended up on the other side of her little cage would be better conversation.

---

After going over all the strange voicemails and text messages he had, Scrooge and his family discussed what they’d all just learned. Bradford and the other Buzzards working for F.O.W.L. was something they’d been made aware of in the past few weeks, but the scale of his nefarious reach was much greater than they ever could’ve expected.

He and Beakley had a long conversation about their expectations for what was coming. She’d confessed to him years ago that she was hiding from F.O.W.L. and he assumed it had something to do with her daughter’s death, but he never asked. They didn’t have the kind of relationship where they shared the saddest parts of their lives with each other.

All she said was that she wanted to protect Webby. She’d said as much back then and she confirmed it again after the latest attacks. Webby’s safety was her priority, one hundred percent.

Scrooge agreed (though he included the rest of his family in that resolve). But they didn’t have any more information and they didn’t have time to go check out each crime scene and find clues. They just needed to be prepared for the next attack.

With that in mind, Scrooge decided it would be in everyone’s best interests to reach out to any available allies and see if they had his back. Their local allies were easy to talk to and all of them were willing to fight for the Duck family if need be.

Goldie, however, was always a question.

She’d shown up during the Moonvasion, but didn’t actually help. And Scrooge was honestly still a bit suspicious of her real intentions about coming down to Duckburg that day.

But this had the potential to be much bigger. He didn’t have any idea what F.O.W.L. had planned. But they had plenty of resources and villains working for them, if they were anything like they were in the 60s. Goldie’s help (plus her experience facing off against F.O.W.L. in the past) could be vital in their success.

But when Scrooge finally called her back, there was no answer.

Not just no answer, he couldn’t leave a voicemail. It said her phone number had been disconnected.

Was she really that upset about him potentially taking the fountain?

Scrooge groaned and sat down on the living room couch, staring down at his cell phone. He’d thought they’d made a lot of progress in Florida, but then she just went back to stealing as usual. Was she trying to piss him off? Trying to get his attention?

If that was true, then why would she disconnect her phone number?

He refused to believe that everything they discussed back then was just some kind of trick to get the fountain to herself. He’d known Goldie for too long to believe that, and if she really wanted it she could’ve taken it back in March.

Maybe she’d just dropped her phone in the toilet. Or over a cliff. There were plenty of options that didn’t involve Goldie purposefully breaking contact with him.

“Have you heard from Aunt Goldie?”

Scrooge looked up as Louie walked in the room, holding his phone. “Not since the voicemail.”

“Well none of my texts are going through anymore.”

“Her phone is disconnected, accordin’ to the phone company,” Scrooge answered sadly. “I dinnae know how to get a hold of her.”

Louie frowned and sat down on the couch next to his great-uncle. “Are you worried?”

He shook his head. “No. Goldie makes herself unreachable sometimes, but…I’m sure she’s fine.”

Unconvinced, Louie tried sending another message that received another ‘Message Cannot Be Sent’ response. “Well…I am. This is a really bad time for her to disappear.”

“It is,” Scrooge said, more pondering out loud than answering. “It’s very, very bad timin'.”

DUCK FRANCHISE REFERENCES:
- Yes it's here! We're onto the end of DuckTales. You'll recognize Goldie leaving Scrooge a voicemail, the one where she calls him a double-crossing cad, from the episode "Escape From the ImpossiBin!".
- Goldie's kidnapping and all references related to that are from the series finale, The Last Adventure!