desperate to have my heart returned

Summary: Goldie gets an unexpected phone call.

Word count: 1910

Warnings: None

2006; Dawson

When Dickie first entered her life, Goldie was unsure how things would change. Would she finally feel that maternal warmth that women were supposed to feel around vulnerable children? Would she feel responsibility and strength and unconditional love? Would she feel like she’d finally filled the empty hole in her heart that she could never fill no matter how many things she stole?

She would not.

She felt a sense of duty, at the very least, towards the late Dawsie of Dawson City. Knowing that she’d left such a significant impact on that girl was the biggest surprise of the last decade. And she certainly liked Dickie - she was a fun kid who didn’t want for much and didn’t whine when Goldie brought her on trips.

That being said…Goldie was starting to get exhausted.

She was ashamed of herself for it, considering the minimal amount of time she actually spent one-on-one with Dickie. Eight-year-olds weren’t exactly capable of taking care of themselves, so when they went on trips together Goldie would hire a babysitter to come with. It made things less intimate, but it was safer. For Dickie and for Goldie.

But it also meant that sometimes Goldie felt like she didn’t really know the kid at all. She’d mention a friend from school or a show she was watching and Goldie knew she was supposed to get the reference, but she didn’t. And unlike with Scrooge or Scrooge’s family, she couldn’t just say she didn’t care or dismiss it as nothing. She knew that kind of parental feedback had a weird and unforgiving effect on kids.

But she was really struggling. She wanted to give Dickie a good life. A better life than she’d had or Dawsie had had, if she could. And she was starting to realize that that better life wasn’t going to be in Canada with her ‘Grandma Goldie’.

(It didn’t help that Goldie had spent one hundred years double-crossing and stealing, earning herself a good number of enemies. Thanks to her decision to get out of the spotlight thirty years ago, no one had come after her in a long time. But there was always a possibility that someone would. And having a headstrong and rambunctious child around could make things messier.)

Goldie sat at her computer, patiently waiting for it to boot up. She wasn’t used to computers yet, but she liked having one around. It was good for Dickie, too - gave the kid something to play games on.

She needed to do some research on her options. She didn’t want to stop being Dickie’s guardian, but she didn’t think she should be taking care of her anymore. Maybe a boarding school kind of situation would be the best option. Dawson didn’t have any good schools and definitely no career opportunities for when Dickie got older. Goldie didn’t want to force another child to work at the Blackjack, and she deserved to go to a school that could give her plenty of options. Or maybe…

Her landline phone started to ring and Goldie sighed. Good thing she hadn’t opened up any internet browsers yet, though she couldn’t imagine who would be calling her landline. She only gave out her cell phone number nowadays, so it must’ve been someone…special.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Aunt Goldie…”

Goldie’s eyes widened. No one had called her that in years, especially not since she tore into the two kids who called her that most often. She wasn’t their aunt and didn’t particularly enjoy the reminder that she and Scrooge were constantly struggling with their relationship status.

“...Della?”

“Yeah. Um…yeah. How are you?”

The blonde rolled her eyes and looked back at the computer. Her research was put on hold for idle chit-chat? “I’m fine. Why did you call me?”

Della let out a short laugh. “Right. Always straight to the point with you.”

“Don’t act like that’s a bad thing. So what’s going on? Is something wrong with Scrooge?”

“No, no! Nothing like that.”

Goldie felt herself calm down, though she hadn’t even realized she was nervous in the first place. Her heart had jumped to some bad conclusions before her brain could notice. “Then what’s up?”

Della took a deep breath. “I…needed to talk to someone. About…something.”

“Uh-huh.”

“This is so-! Argh, okay, it’s like…” Della mumbled and stuttered, going back and forth over her words and leaving Goldie wondering what the hell was happening. “It’s like this…”

“Will you spit it out already?”

“I’m pregnant!”

The phone went completely silent after her outburst. Goldie pulled it away from herself and stared down at the receiver, not quite sure what to make of that. She brought it back against her head and tried not to sound too confused. “I…okay? Do you want me to say congratulations or is this about something else?”

Della laughed. “No! Well, maybe, but no! I need your advice. Woman-to-woman!”

Goldie felt like she was getting whiplash. What was happening? “Don’t you think your mother would be better suited for this? Or Matilda? Or, I don’t know, Twenty-Two?!”

“No! I needed to talk to someone, well…outside of the family.”

And there it was again. That little reminder that she wasn’t one of them. Goldie found the ‘Aunt Goldie’ nickname especially annoying because she was constantly being reminded of her outsider status. She couldn’t be family and also not be family, but Scrooge and his kids were inconsistent. She was family when they wanted her to be, and not when they didn’t. She wondered if anyone else out there was dragged around in the same way.

“Why’s that?”

“I’m just worried they’ll say something to Uncle Scrooge and I’m-...I don’t know. I want to tell him myself. Or maybe not tell him at all?”

“Oh.” Goldie hadn’t realized the nature of the advice Della was looking for until that moment. “You’re thinking of getting rid of it?”

“I-I don’t know! I just want to think about my options before I go announcing it to everyone, that’s all.”

“Well…what does the dad think?”

Della let out another short, awkward laugh. “Um…about that.”

“You didn’t tell him, either?” Goldie was a little surprised by that.

“No, no, I just…don’t know who the dad is.”

“...wow.”

“Wh-?! Don’t judge me! I was…it’s been a crazy summer, okay?”

Goldie held up a hand defensively, even though Della couldn’t see her. “No, no, no judgment here. You’re young, you should have all the crazy summers you want.”

“...”

“A little protection wouldn’t make your summer any less crazy, though.”

“Come on, I’m already kicking myself enough as it is!”

“Yeah, alright. Well you know I can’t help you make a decision like that. It’s your life.”

“Well, that’s not so much the issue as…like…” Della lost her words again and started mumbling. “...you’ve known Uncle Scrooge longer than anyone.”

“Probably not longer than your grandparents, but sure.”

“Do you think he’ll be mad at me?”

Goldie was caught off-guard by the question and blinked slowly. Would Scrooge be upset by an unplanned pregnancy? He was excited when his sister started trying and he loved her kids more than anyone in the world. He wasn't always great with change, but that'd been improving lately and he enjoyed certain changes more than others. A baby, even an unexpected one, would be welcome.

Though Goldie had spent most of their relationship thinking he had no interest in kids or a big family or anything like that, recent years had shown her otherwise. Either he’d changed his mind after having kids forced into his life, or she’d misinterpreted him from the beginning.

“...no, Flygirl. He’s not going to be mad.”

Della still sounded unsure when she responded with a quiet, “...really?”

Goldie knew Scrooge could be intimidating, but she felt a little bad for Della. Why was this girl so sure that he’d be angry? Had he said something rude about her sleeping around? Or maybe he hadn’t said anything about anything and she really didn’t know what to expect. It was certainly a unique situation they were in.

“Really. I think he’ll be more excited than you’ve ever seen him.”

“O-oh!” Della responded, noticeably perked up. “I…yeah, no, you’re…you’re right. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this.”

“You’ve got an egg growing inside you, it’s going to make things weird for a while.”

“An egg,” Della repeated, sounding almost dreamy. “It’s so weird to think about. I mean, I always thought I’d be a mother someday, but…well, not this soon, but it’s no big deal, right? It’s not like I won’t be able to provide for the kid.”

“Uh-huh,” Goldie mumbled. She was glad that Della felt more comfortable, but she was also getting tired of their conversation. Scrooge and kids, Scrooge and family, Scrooge, Scrooge, Scrooge. It made her feel uncomfortable. It made her feel pathetic.

“Did you, um…” Della asked suddenly. “Did you ever want to be a mom?”

Goldie felt a harsh no on her tongue, ready to jump into the phone and strangle the girl on the other end of the line. She didn’t like personal questions like that, especially not from Scrooge’s family. The family that was distinctly not hers. And now she was in this odd sort of maternal relationship with Dickie, who hadn’t done anything wrong but still managed to make Goldie feel confused and conflicted just from her presence. But the specific question - did she want to be a mother - left an impact on her. The word want was heavy. Did she ever really want it? She thought about it, definitely thought about it. Got sad about not having the option. But did she ever actually want it?

“...no, not really,” Goldie finally said, though Della didn’t seem to notice any hesitation.

“Yeah, I get it,” Della started to ramble. “I think Aunt Matilda was the same way ‘til she took in Gladstone for a while. You know about that, right?”

“Della.” Goldie cut off the conversation with another sigh. “I have work I need to do.”

“O-oh, yeah. Right, of course.” Della sounded awkward and a bit disappointed, which wasn’t much of a surprise. “Thank you for talking to me. A-and for listening.”

“You caught me at a good time,” Goldie responded.

“Yeah?” Della asked, already having forgotten that the conversation was supposed to be ending. “We’re headed to Rio de Janeiro tonight. The three of us. Well, four, I guess!”

“Sounds like a blast.” Goldie massaged her forehead, trying her best not to get a headache from the young duck’s enthusiasm. “But like I said, I’ve got work to do, so…”

“Right! Yes, yeah, okay.” Della cleared her throat. “Thank you again. See you, um…see you around?”

“Who knows, Flygirl, maybe you will.”

Goldie hung up the phone and moved back towards her computer. Finally she could get back to what she had been doing, though obviously that conversation with Della had her a little rattled. She needed to focus on the task at hand and not focus on the subject of Scrooge and family and babies and-

Rio de Janeiro. Brazil. Goldie liked Brazil.

She tapped her fingers against the desk while the internet connected. Brazil had nice weather. It was a huge country with lots of people and opportunities and schools. Without even checking, Goldie knew of an English-speaking boarding school in São Paulo. There were probably more than that. But most importantly…Goldie had a guy there.

Papudo Pelicano - an old associate that helped her smuggle some artifacts on his ship many, many years ago. Goldie hadn’t exactly kept in touch with him, but in the late ‘70s they'd worked together enough times to build a rapport. She'd helped him out of one or two jams back in the day, and she would bet good money he'd said ‘I owe you one!’ to her at least once.

If she remembered correctly, he wasn’t far from São Paulo. She wouldn’t stick Dickie with him, of course, but if she wanted to send her somewhere far from Dawson and safe from harm, it’d be nice to know someone nearby. Dickie would feel more comfortable, probably. And she’d be able to make some friends instead of being stuck hanging out with hotel employees and a grumpy old lady all the time.

Explaining all of this to Dickie might take some time. She’d only been living in Dawson for four years, but before that she'd been over in Anchorage. The kid needed to live somewhere warmer. It would match her personality better.

As the web page for Colegio Brasil Canada finally came up, Goldie frowned. Would Dickie feel like she was being abandoned? Goldie wasn’t a stranger to abandoning people that needed her, but she didn’t want Dickie to feel that way. If this was happening, then she’d have to go down and visit often. At least three or four times a year.

And she’d listen, of course. If Dickie said she hated it down there, Goldie would go grab her and try somewhere else. She deserved to be happy and comfortable and surrounded by friends.

Goldie sighed and scrolled down the page. It looked nice. She’d have to check it out for herself, of course, but…they even had movie nights and acting classes. Dickie would thrive at a place like that.

After an hour of research, she grabbed a nearby notebook and made a note to buy two tickets to Brazil. There was no time like the present, after all.

REAL HISTORY:
- Colegio Brasil Canada is a real boarding school. You may be thinking, "Carro, was it really necessary for you to find a real Canada-Brazilian English speaking boarding school that takes children from preschool to high school and that existed in 2006?" Yes it was.
- I don't know if all of my readers are old enough to remember dial-up, and maybe you'll think 2006 is late for dial-up. But in a tiny place in the middle of nowhere like Dawson City, they didn't have many options for internet until a little later. Anyway that's why Goldie couldn't be on the internet while also on the phone.

DUCK FRANCHISE:
- I'm just gonna establish this now: in this fic, the boys were born in 2007. This means the series starts in 2016, with the Mount Neverrest episode being Christmas of 2016, and then Goldie first appears in the series in 2017.
- Papudo is an unused character from Dickie's Brazilian comic series Os Adolescentes! He was listed as Dickie's "uncle" but I think it's obvious he's just a family friend referred to as uncle since that's what kids n teens do in many cultures and languages.