je n'ai qu'un seul et unique regret

Summary: Goldie gets attached.

Word count: 3421

Warnings: None

2018; Duckburg

Goldie didn’t usually get outside calls directly to her office. Most calls were transferred from the front desk or people would just use her cell phone. So it was one of those little things that didn’t seem significant, but when it happened, well…there were only a handful of people who could be on the other end.

This particular phone of hers was old and still didn’t have caller ID, but she just knew it was coming from the McDuck household. She stared at it as it rang a third time and smiled, happy that Scrooge was finally contacting her about the Mayan Temple Adventure she’d teased him with after everything that happened the year before.

So, with a lot of excitement and anticipation in her heart, Goldie picked up the phone and held it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Miss O’Gilt? Can I call you Goldie?”

Goldie’s smile went flat. She blinked slowly, trying to will her brain to catch up with her hearing.

Not Scrooge. It was not Scrooge. It sounded like a young boy. Which meant…it was one of his kids. Er, one of Della’s kids. And she was, once again, made to feel like an idiot. Why did she expect Scrooge to get back to her? He was reluctant to go on their Golden Lagoon adventure without his family present, it wasn’t like he’d go to Yucatán with her, too.

“Absolutely not.”

“Absolutely not? Great, great. I’m looking to operate my company more…shiftily? Could you teach me to do what you do?”

She raised a curious eyebrow and wondered what the hell Scrooge had told this kid about her. He probably regaled some story that made him out to be the noble hero and her out to be the shifty sidekick with her own agenda. Did he tell his kids about Dawson? Or about some other Gold Rush town? Maybe he told them about the Bermuda Triangle or Ayers Rock or some other something where she acted out and Scrooge was left in the dust.

Goldie frowned, thinking about Scrooge talking shit about her with his family while she was up in Dawson hoping he’d give her a call like a dumb teenager. She glanced out the window and hummed. “You think this’ll piss off Scrooge?”

“Uh, yeah, it probably would make my uncle very mad!” he said without a moment of hesitation.

She almost laughed at the genuine tone of voice in his response. “What’s your name, kid?” she asked, concerned that no one had taught him enough manners to introduce himself when calling someone.

“Oh! Um…Louie. Louie Duck!”

“Louie. How’d you get this number? I doubt Scrooge gave it to you.”

He laughed awkwardly. “No, yeah, Uncle Scrooge has a bunch of phones set to one number each and this was like…the fourth one I tried. Which reminds me! Someone named Elvira told me to tell you hi.”

“Did she?” Goldie asked, surprised. “Now isn’t that interesting.”

The conversation went quiet for a few seconds before Louie finally spoke up again. “So, um…is this the best way to get in contact with you?”

Goldie rolled her eyes. “Not at all. I’ll give you my cell phone number, but don’t go giving it away to everyone, alright? I’ll know it was you.”

He didn’t sound even the slightest bit nervous when he responded with a semi-sarcastic, “Of course, Miss O’Gilt.”

She recited her cell number and listened to him repeat the numbers to make sure he got it right, and then told him to text her so she’d have his number. “So what’s your timeline on this business of yours?”

“Oh, I dunno…I’m just thinking about the future. If you need a little sidekick for any adventures or whatever, let me know! I could follow and learn as we go.”

Goldie thought about whether or not she had anything going on that she could bring a random child to. She’d rather not get accused of kidnapping (again) just because Scrooge’s kids kept following her places without letting anyone else know. “How about I just let you know when I’ve got business in Duckburg? I should be there in a few months.”

“A few months?!”

She frowned and didn’t bother hiding her annoyance. “Don’t make this a chore for me.”

He gulped loudly. “Right. Sorry.”

“Now I’ve got work to do and I’m sure you have schoolwork or whatever to catch up on. So…I’ll give you a call. Bye.”

“Okay tha-”

Goldie hung up the phone and tossed it onto her bed. She had a feeling this wasn’t a good idea. She didn’t like spending one-on-one time with Scrooge’s family members, especially not after every distant half- or twice-removed- cousin started calling her Aunt Goldie for a cheap laugh. It was never a good idea for someone like her to get too close to his family.

But she did like the idea of pissing Scrooge off in a more creative way than usual.

Especially since he never called her about the photo. Wasn’t he curious? Didn’t he want to find gold? Find gold with her, specifically?

It was tiring trying to get Scrooge to react how she expected or wanted him to. But she could be as predictable as he liked - she’d come to the mansion, talk to this Louie kid for five minutes, then steal all his valuables and get out. No bonding, no “Aunt Goldie” nonsense, no nothing. Just Scrooge calling her to scream that she made one of his kids cry and that he’d chase her down and make her pay.

Y’know, fun ‘n games.

Goldie leaned over her desk and looked at the calendar sitting on it, flipping up the months a few times. She had plans to visit Dickie at the end of June, so she could come to Duckburg a little earlier than that. Just a day or two. If she played her cards right, this Louie situation wouldn’t take much time or effort to get through.

–

Louie wasn’t sure how he felt about that call.

She was strict and kind of mean, as he expected, but also…she didn’t say no. Which he thought she would. It seemed like the opportunity to make Uncle Scrooge mad was good enough for her. Or maybe she was planning to rob him and then he’d have no choice but to blame himself.

But she wasn’t a villain like Rockerduck! Uncle Scrooge said so. She was shifty. Took the easy way out. Tricked and manipulated people into giving her what she wanted, but they still gave it to her willingly. It wasn’t nice, but it wasn’t plain old robbery.

He sighed and tossed the phone receiver onto the floor, annoyed by the incessant beeping. He wondered if she knew his mom before she disappeared. They probably met at least once. Would it be annoying if he asked Goldie about his mom? She seemed like the kind of person who got annoyed really easily. Then again, she was dating Scrooge McDuck, and he was pretty annoying, so…who could say?

“What the-?!” Uncle Scrooge shouted before opening the boy’s bedroom door. “Louie! What in blazes are ye doin’ with all these phones?”

“Oh, um…” Louie glanced at the pile of phones on his desk that he’d dragged out of his uncle’s office. The wires were very long and stretched all the way over. “Just…playing?”

“Well put them back where ye found them!” Scrooge said with a wag of his finger. “Someone’s goin’ to trip over these if ye leave them out here!”

He walked away and Louie pouted at the door being left open. It seemed Uncle Scrooge wanted him to move the phones back now. But he was busy thinking about life and morality and future plans and his mom! He didn’t have time for cleaning!

With another sigh, Louie stood up and reached out to grab the phone that managed to call Goldie. He accidentally knocked it over and watched as it fell from his desk onto the floor. Initially, he didn’t see anything on the phone that indicated who he’d be calling, but with the bottom staring up at him, Louie saw the word BLACKJACK scrawled in faded marker.

He pulled out his cell phone and decided to do some searching.

—

(Months Later)

Goldie had forgotten about her phone conversation with Della’s kid back in February. Completely forgot about it. She didn’t even have an excuse for forgetting - it wasn’t like her age was catching up to her or she purposefully put it out of her mind - she just…forgot.

It didn’t matter, because he remembered very excitedly.

“Miss O’Gilt!”

When the phone rang with the contact ID of ‘Scrooge Kid 1’, Goldie started to have a little flicker of remembrance. When she heard his voice again, that brought back a detailed memory of their previous conversation.

“What’s up, kid?”

“I know you said you’d be visiting Duckburg soon anyway, but…I’m ready. I’ve had some really awesome changes happen in my life lately and I want to get back to building my company!”

“What kind of life changes does a ten-year-old deal with?”

“I’m eleven. And, um…well…you know about my mom, right?”

“I do.”

“She came back!”

Goldie blinked slowly, shocked by that news.

After so many years of life, time moved faster for her than it did for most people. But the decade that Della had been missing was significant. Goldie couldn’t truly empathize with Scrooge’s ordeal, but she'd recognized that everything going on with Della was probably made even worse by the memory of when Goldie went missing seventy years earlier. He’d always have to have some hope that Della would come back, because Goldie came back and Della was a perfectly strong and capable young woman just like Goldie.

Goldie honestly didn’t think Della would be coming back, though. She thought her own dimensional situation was pretty unique.

For once, it felt very very good to be wrong.

(She was a little annoyed that no one told her, but also a little annoyed at herself for thinking she deserved to be told. What had she done to earn it? She didn’t say anything to Scrooge when Della first disappeared. She didn’t say anything to him for years and years after. He probably assumed she didn’t care, if he even thought about it at all.)

“How’s she doing?”

Louie paused before answering, almost as if her question surprised him. “Oh, um…she’s fine, I think. Adjusting. She was on the moon this whole time so there’s a lot of things she needs to get used to.”

“I can imagine.”

“So…how about it?”

“How about what?”

“Can you come to Duckburg and teach me how to do what you do?”

Goldie hummed quietly for a moment, thinking. She wasn’t doing anything for the next few days. She wouldn’t mind giving Dickie a surprise visit to see what the kid did when she didn’t know her ‘grandma’ was nearby. It was unlikely she’d spend more than an hour with Louie - probably just take some coins out of his piggy bank as a lesson to not get too close to a thief.

“Alright. I’ll come down tomorrow.”

“Yes! See you then!”

—

Louie spent the rest of his day cleaning his room, much to the confusion of his brothers. He wanted to properly hide his personal treasures and money before Goldie could get her slippery fingers on any of it. He was excited to learn from her, but that didn’t mean he trusted her.

Louie Duck was no fool, after all.

He had every intention of being extra careful when Goldie arrived. He made sure to text her regularly during her journey to Duckburg - though she was a really slow texter and didn’t seem to understand emojis. But about twenty minutes before he thought she’d be arriving, he couldn’t get ahold of her. Which probably meant she was in the mansion somewhere, being sneaky.

Louie poked his head out of his bedroom and looked up and down the hall. No sign of Goldie.

Then he rushed down the hall to the staircase. She wasn’t in the foyer or on the stairs or outside the front door.

She should’ve been arriving soon and he couldn’t miss her! She was a wildcard, someone who did whatever they wanted! Sure, she wanted to use this mentorship to piss off Uncle Scrooge and wouldn’t miss an opportunity to do that, but there were a million ways to piss off Uncle Scrooge. She didn’t need to follow Louie’s plans.

He was pacing up and down the hallway when Uncle Scrooge’s bedroom door opened up and she poked her head out, just like he did earlier.

Louie was immediately in front of her. “You’re here! But...why were you in Uncle Scrooge’s room?”

Goldie came out into the hallway and closed the door quietly behind her. “Force of habit.”

Louie couldn’t have frowned more deeply at that response.

“Where’s the old miser, anyway?”

“I think he’s in his office,” Louie said, pointing down the hallway. “But we don’t need him! I want to tell you some of my business ideas.”

Goldie smirked. “It’s not polite to bring a guest into someone’s home without letting them know. That’s your first lesson.”

Louie frowned again. “That’s not a lesson. You just want to annoy Uncle Scrooge!”

She leaned down and poked the end of his little beak. “Maybe so. C’mon, give me a second to hide.”

—

Happy Birthday Doofus Drake!: 00:09 - 03:02

—

One thing she never liked about kids? They're so dramatic.

Goldie was every bit as dramatic, of course, but mostly as a joke or to drive a point home. This child freaking out over going to his rich-kid-neighbor's birthday party? Ridiculous.

"Ohh nooo," Louie said sarcastically as he popped his head back out of the trunk. "We can't go 'cause you're not dressed for a party! Oh well, so sad!'

Goldie put her hands on her hips. She agreed to mentor him and he was backing off? Too bad. She was in it now. "Oh, we'll be fine. I've got plenty of clothes stashed in your uncle's bedroom."

"What? Ew, don't tell me that!" he said with a disgusted glare.

She waved him off and left the room, headed towards Scrooge's. The last time she was in there, she ransacked the place and then left a nice little present in a nice little hat. She wouldn't ransack it this time, though, since Scrooge tended to keep all her leftovers in one place.

As Goldie opened the drawer and glanced at the items, she wondered if she had good Normal Relative Party Clothes. Her only other option was to go shopping before this party, but then they'd be late. She couldn't borrow any clothes from Della since Della never really…filled out in the same way Goldie had. Everything would be way too tight.

Goldie noticed a pair of stockings and was immediately reminded of that night in 1980 when Scrooge made her feel a lot of different ways. Some very good ways, and then…bad. It was a mixed memory.

Next she pulled out a pair of jeans that she almost didn't recognize - but a stain on the ass reminded her of a trip they went on to Colombia. They'd rushed back to Duckburg right after and didn't take a moment to change or clean up.

The third item Goldie saw was a pink sneaker. The pair was probably in the drawer somewhere, too, but she couldn't really remember when the sneakers were from. Vaguely she felt like it was something when Donald and Della were young, but the actual adventure or reason for that visit? Completely escaped her memory.

Goldie grabbed the other sneaker and a few more items, staring at them suspiciously. She was really getting old. She knew these were hers, but she couldn't say when or where or why. It was frustrating.

"What're ye doin', O'Gilt?"

She turned around to see Scrooge in the doorway, watching her go through the drawer.

"Hey, you can't get mad at me for stealing my own stuff."

He frowned and closed the door behind him, walking closer. "I dinnae care about that. I just…Louie's a sensitive kid."

Goldie rolled her eyes. Was he really doing this?

"Please dinnae hurt him, dear." Scrooge looked at her with a genuine, soft expression. "He's not like me."

She frowned to match him. What could she possibly say to that? She didn't plan to hurt the kid, but it was probably going to happen. She also usually didn't plan on hurting Scrooge. Things just…happened.

"Goldie?" Scrooge sounded nervous.

She sighed. "He'll be fine, Scrooge. I won't hurt him, alright?"

Clearly unsatisfied, Scrooge's frown deepened. "Alright."

Scrooge left the room and Goldie was struck with how unromantic that interaction was. He didn't even seem to care that she was in his room, in his home, spending time with his family - he just cared about the family and how she'd treat them. That was fine. She'd thought he'd at least be a little excited to see her after their Golden Lagoon adventure, but she'd been wrong about him many times before.

As Goldie quickly got dressed, she couldn't get Scrooge's words out of her head.

He was such an agitating man. She didn't go around looking for reasons to hurt children! She didn't look around for reasons to hurt him, either. Yes, it happened. But she wasn’t a monster. She was just…self-serving. And she had every right to be that way, whether he agreed with her or not.

Dressed and ready, Goldie shook the annoyances from her head and made her way back to the boy's room. She knocked on the door. "Ready to go, Sharpie?"

Louie emerged from the room a moment later, sharply dressed in a little green suit. He had an annoyed frown on his face when he saw how casual her outfit was in comparison to his. He also really really obviously didn't want to do this. "I guess."

—

Happy Birthday Doofus Drake!: 04:19 - 21:47

—

It'd been a weird day for her.

Goldie broke her promise to Scrooge about not hurting his nephew, but what was she supposed to do? He practically called her family. Just the thought of suddenly being accepted into Scrooge's family after one short afternoon of mischief stressed her out more than she'd ever admit.

She liked Louie. A lot. He reminded her of herself when she was young…but also reminded her of Scrooge when he was young. He was creative and excited for what the world had to offer and ready to take it on - but also lazy and anxious and a bit too trusting. He was cute. And smart. It was almost infuriating how much fun she’d had scheming with him at that party.

Goldie didn't feel bad about saving the kid's life, of course, but she did feel bad about bolting. It was just difficult to stay after so many years of fleeing. The more she enjoyed being around someone, the more she found herself pulling away. So she once again found herself staring at Scrooge's mansion from the farthest edge of the property.

She was tired of running away.

So…so tired of it.

Sharpie seemed so excited at the idea of working together. She'd genuinely thought about how fun it would be to have a little partner-in-crime - and not only a helper, but someone who actually looked up to her and respected that she was more than just a common thief.

Goldie sighed. Scrooge always knew exactly what to say to get under her skin.

She grabbed her wallet and slipped Louie's photo next to her favorite photo of Scrooge - one that she'd taken on an old time traveling adventure. She didn't stare at it for long, though, and stuffed the wallet back into her pocket.

Her heart ached when she thought about the terrified look on Sharpie’s face before she'd saved him. It ached when she thought about how sad he looked when she'd betrayed him. The pounding in her chest was so loud - Louie Duck hadn’t done anything wrong to her, and she still hurt him. He wasn’t like Scrooge. He was small and fragile and scared and she didn’t feel good about taking all the money.

As Goldie lifted up the bag and heaved a heavy sigh, she knew she’d messed up. She broke her own rule. Her one most important rule that she told herself never to break again.

She’d gotten too close.

REAL HISTORY FACTS:
- The photograph of Goldie in front of a pyramid from the end of Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains! looked Mayan to me so I chose Yucatán. There's lots of cool pyramids there I'd love to visit someday

DUCK FRANCHISE REFERENCES:
- We're in Goldie's second current-day appearance! This chapter features the episodes "The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!" and "Happy Birthday Doofus Drake!"
- Elvira Coot, aka Grandma Duck, is Donald and Della's grandmother on their father's side. She's not related to Scrooge but they're well-acquainted. She runs a farm just outside of Duckburg with her grandnephew Gus Goose. They're not going to appear in this story but don't you just love fun facts?
- Goldie says she'd rather not get accused of kidnapping again. This is a reference to my fic "Not Your Aunt" where she kidnaps Gladstone lol check it out here:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30381390
(There may be a bunch of references to that fic from here on out, I don't know. I don't plan on having any contradictory information between this fic and that one.)
- Scrooge calls Goldie a "common thief" at the beginning of HBDD, which clearly got under her skin as she corrects him to Louie later.