Geeking? What's that?

4-26-02

Geeking is a marvelous portal to no-mind, a natural technique to lower your eudaemony threshold and increase your bliss tolerance. Am I catching your attention? Good!

Geeking involves the same mouth movements and sound that nursing babies make in their sleep. The tongue rests against the full length of the palate, and the soft palate and glottis is rhythmically depressed to create a sucking pulsation -- with the mouth smiling (important!).The best time to try this out is the moment you wake up . When first practiced, it should create a clucking sound and the front of the throat moves. Another way to do this is to say the word 'geek' and then repeat it with a closed mouth.

Try to 'geek' in time with your heartbeat. Feel the waves of subtle peristalsis that geeking triggers all the way down your digestive tract. This is an excellent way to massage one's insides and stir up chi energy. Move the neck and chin rhythmically back and forth for a _really_ geeky 'geek.'

The geek can be divided into two sections. The application of suction to the soft palate region, and then the release. Hold a 'half-geek' a few seconds and contract the anal sphincter Try drawing up the anal sphincter with each geek-inhale in the classic hatha yoga 'mulabandha.' This also is a Taoist practice (see Master Chia's book on self-massage). (For a thorough description of how to do one version of the mulabandha 'core lift' -- go to: http://www.yogasite.com/engagingmb.htm

Once you have re-learned this exercise -- 're-learned' because we all did this as babies -- you can refine it to a more and more subtle -- and silent -- movement inside the mouth. Finally it can be refined enough that you can practice it as a fast pick-up at committee meetings, sort of like an invisible Lifesaver. Or you can geek your way across the living room to your favorite R & B band, moving your chin, neck and shoulders back and forth in a manner that will make others laugh until they lose THEIR sphincteral control. Maybe it's a new dance craze!

If you have any doubts, do a fast series of fifty geeks when your eyes open in the morning. Once you have experienced how geek-induced peristalsis contractions awaken chi energies, you will have a very potent tool for remaining outside and above your mind during meditation by surfing on the ecstatic geek waves you are creating. (Of course you should also practice detachment and not just get hung up on the bliss experience!) Let me know how it works for you. Be sure to keep smiling -- and geeking...

For the Orthodox Jew, geeking combines well with davening.

EXERCISE TWO

If geeking does not provide serious waves of peristalsic bliss, I found a new exercise this A.M. that I've tentatively named 'the self French kiss.' This brings osculation to lonely people who don't have someone to osculate -- or while waiting for their loved one to return home.

Here's the spiel in a first draft.

"Hi folks! Want to get rid of that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that you keep trying to fill with (select from the list): 1) food 2) sex 3) smoking 4) addictive substances 5) work 6) the presence of God(dess) but who seems otherwise occupied 7) meditation, but your attention keeps drifting?

"Why not try Extreme Bliss? It's not a product, it's not a book, it's what your Third Grade teacher Miss Grumphy used to tell that big mouth Bobby in the seat in front of you: 'Bite your tongue, Bobby, or it's off to Mr.Meansker's office!'

"So here's how: stick out your tongue ("Now you're REALLY going to go to Mr. Meansker's office, Bobby!"), clamp your teeth on it hard enough to hold it in place but not to cause pain. Inhale deeply through the nose. When you exhale, smile, pull back on your tongue but continue to hold onto it. On the next inhale, relax the pressure but not the tongue. Exhale, smile and pull again. Pull as hard as you can without causing pain. Also there's a natural tendency to clench the anal sphincters on the pull. Do it, and also pull the diaphragm muscle in and up on the exhale ('mulabandha' in Hatha Yoga terminology). "Do this until you are bubbling with ecstatic frothy chi bliss.

"Once learned, you do it anywhere by just allowing the tongue tip to rest between the teeth. With your mouth closed, no one can discover your secret.

"If this doesn't work for you, try it first thing upon awakening. It's sort of like french-kissing yourself. Much more sanitary than a twosome, but just as much fun -- at least until your lovey-dovey comes home.

"Thank you."

Oh -- combining BOTH exercises at the same time is quite interesting. Perhaps twenty tongue-pulls and then move into the full Geek!