Tips to Make You a Better Trans Ally
Each year Transgender awareness month is a time to acknowledge, uplift, and celebrate trans men and women. The transgender community is being targeted all over the world, and in November trans people and allies alike strive to raise their visibility. Here are 10 things you should know as an ally.
Transgender people have existed throughout all of history and in many different cultures.
Transgender people have always existed! The transgender community has become more vocal about their experiences in recent years; however, being transgender isn’t a new trend. Many people throughout history have identified as transgender under a different name and using different pronouns.
Some people see being “transgender” as an umbrella term.
Some non-binary and gender-queer people refer to themselves as transgender. We typically see transgenderism as transitioning from male to female or vise versa; however, some people believe changing your gender identity, in general, makes you trans.
There is no right way to be transgender.
You do not have to medically transition to identify as transgender. They don’t need to change their appearance or what clothes they wear for us to accept them for who they are.
You can’t tell whether a person is transgender based on looks.
There’s a common belief that you can tell if someone is transgender based on the type of clothes they wear, how they style their hair, or how they talk. Thinking like this disregards cis men who dress in drag or more feminine clothes, and cis women who tend to dress more masculine.
Just Ask.
Most transgender people adopt the opposite sex’s pronouns (she/her or he/his). However, some use they/them pronouns or neo pronouns. It sounds pretty confusing, but the best way to avoid misgendering someone is to simply ask. Also, most people are chill about you tripping up and saying the wrong pronouns; just correct yourself and move on.
It’s pretty easy to get the hormones.
If you have any friends who identify as trans with unaccepting parents or who don’t have the means to get them, testosterone and estrogen are offered at Planned Parenthood. Once you turn 18, Planned Parenthood can get you started, and insurance should cover the cost of each session. If you don’t, it’s about $120-$150 per session. The best part is Planned Parenthood won’t notify your parents of your sessions, and you won’t need permission to continue treatments.
Gender identity, sex, and sexual orientation are separate concepts.
Sex refers to the biological differences between men and women. Gender is anything you feel about your gender, it doesn’t have to fit into the binary male and female. Sexual orientation is simply who you are attracted to. A trans male who is attracted to men is gay, not straight, for example.
Deadnaming is extremely offensive.
A lot of trans folks have loads of trauma and anxiety tied to the name they previously used. Deadnaming them - or referring to them by their previous name - can be very triggering and ignores all of the progress and suffering they went through to feel like themselves.
Respect people’s privacy.
Transgender people get as uncomfortable as we do when asked about their bodies, sexuality, and “how they knew.” Asking questions like these makes them feel like spectacles rather than people. Many cis people feel that trans people are obligated to tell the rest of the world about trans issues, and that’s simply not true.
Lastly, trans women are women and trans men are men.
Being transgender doesn’t make them a separate class of gender, they are simply a man or a woman.