Toxic Masculinity: In Our Schools and Affecting Our Futures

A fatal disease has been spreading through these musty vents and LED-lit linoleum halls daily since long before my time, and probably yours. We continue the search for foreign illnesses and labor over their cures, yet we ignore and discredit the problem that is staring us right in the face, many times when we look in the mirror. This epidemic often goes unnamed because of it’s misused feminazi implications. Try using the phrase “toxic masculinity” to describe the social and mental habits of men, in a room full of men. Now imagine the impulsive and harsh ego defense mechanism-ridden responses you’d receive. The harassment that results from the use of such jargon is so much a turn-off that the term remains repressed or nonexistent in the vocabulary of many of its victims. Toxic masculinity severely impacts the lives of many of America’s adolescents, especially young men. Without a method of treatment or shift in the way our society raises generation after generation, this epidemic will continue to persist in great strengths.

“Boys will be boys,” and a shrug. Instead of discouraging the stereotypical behavior of violence and dominance, our parents and mentors allow it to continue with no greater excuse than it being “the way it's always been.” Our ignorance to the faults of our established ways is our greatest enemy. George Santayana once wisely said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." And yet we repeat the past every single day as if we don’t remember how the boy in history class was called “gay” for opening up about his feelings to his friends, like we didn’t just watch a news story about another suicide, how we secretly, and guiltily, empathize or sympathize with the girl who turned down a guy because he didn’t match her manly standards. In our current world, it is common to use any label describing a sexual orientation other than “straight” as an insult. We rarely connect the dots between many cases of self-harm and suicide in males. We are bred to consider emotional and physical strength as a make-or-break quality of a male partner in a heterosexual relationship. All of this is common and learned among the people of our culture because this is the culture our parents raised us in, the culture their parents raised them in, and so on. There hasn’t been enough recognition of the harm that results from our expectations of men in our society. This evolution-inspired morality strengthened by detrimental propaganda is just the reason that those most greatly affected by the social construct overlook the truthful meaning of toxic masculinity, and resort to denial: toxic masculinity does not just refer to men being “toxic” to women, but more so to the mentality of men and their efforts to fulfill expectations of themselves making men “toxic” to each other. As discerningly stated by Maya Salam of the New York Times, “Toxic masculinity is what can come of teaching boys that they can’t express emotion openly; that they have to be “tough all the time”; that anything other than that makes them “feminine” or weak.”

We have and continue to face the repercussions of this mental disease in our own backyard more often than we’d like to admit. Take for example the incident occurring in Marina Bay only two years ago between two groups of teenage boys. One teen was brutally attacked by six boys from Quincy, MA and one from Kingston, MA , all of whom were between the ages of fourteen and seventeen at the time. The rumors that followed stated that the dispute was over a feeling of territorial threat. The natural instinct of these high schoolers was to take their anger out in a violent, physical manner, much like the evolutionary instincts of our barbaric ancestors. Barbaric- primitive and unsophisticated. The term is meant to be an insult, however our society still condones behavior of this nature, as it is “natural” and “masculine.” Surely, there must be a better way of solving the problem at hand. Perhaps talking it out? Or ignoring the strong feelings of violence altogether? Of course not! Anything less wouldn’t be “manly” enough. One can hope that a parent or teacher would condemn these violent actions and put an end to them if confronted with a situation of this kind, however as a whole society this mentality is still widely acceptable and enforced.

What does this mean for the future of our generation? The American Psychological Association says that about 30.6% of men experience periods of depression in their lives. However, it is likely that this number is not nearly accurate due to the fact of the matter that men are less likely than women to seek help for their emotions as they fear it may portray them as “weak.” On a corresponding note, as of 2015, the seventh leading cause of death of males in the US, after a plethora of diseases and illnesses, is suicide. The male suicide rate in the US is currently four times higher than the female suicide rate. Another disconcerting realization may be made when comparing the perpetrators in the eighteen deadliest mass shootings in modern U.S. history. In all of these heart-breaking events, a male shooter has been suspected or convicted. No, of course these are not the outcomes of every person affected by toxic masculinity, however, the effects of toxic masculinity may of most likely played a part in these devastating stats.

With a little acknowledgement and attention to the issue, a revolution may not be far behind. Take American history, for example. Once women realized the widespread oppression they felt in their current society, they made great, historical strides to stand up for themselves, their treatment, and their rights. The African-American community was not far behind. More recently, the LGBTQ+ community rallied and fought for attention to their credibility and rightful place in society, and still continue to everyday. The ounce of hope that we have in this epidemic is our country’s rich history of protest and free speech. The popular brand Gillette has recently opened up discussion and debate over the cause with their Super Bowl commercial and short film, “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be”; it’s hook line appropriately being “Boys will be boys.” With more awareness around the subject, a greater discussion can be started, and hopefully that American sense of righteousness and protest sparked. That is the torch of hope we can carry in this ongoing epidemic, that we can work to build a world where one day boys can be whoever they want to be, and be widely accepted for it.